# Anne V Mühlethaler > Anne V Mühlethaler helps those who feel the call to make big moves find the story beneath the story. Narrative coaching, brand strategy, facilitation. Public Ghost content for AI and LLM tooling. This file includes a bounded export of public pages first, then recent public posts. Append `.md` to any post or page URL to get the content in Markdown (for example, `/example-post.md`). ## Pages ### Story architect. Narrative coach. Brand and communications strategist. Facilitator. Guide. URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/about/ Last updated: 2026-08-18T10:49:51.000Z ### **Hey, I'm Anne (V), thanks for being here.** Let me introduce myself briefly.I'm the person you come to when you want to create the conditions for essential stories to emerge, then I help you shape them into resonant narratives. **I help founders, creatives, and professionals who feel the call to make big moves in the world surface the underlying significance of the path they've already taken, and carry it clearly into their work, their brand, and their life. The clients I work best with share a belief that this work isn't only for them.** I tend to be called upon when the vision is clear internally, but not yet coherent in words, strategy, or structure. My brand work always starts with foundations including but not limited to business objectives, values, and intention. My position is closer to that of a midwife, in that *I see what's trying to emerge, and facilitate its coming to life.* Another way to look at this is that I bring the essence of people and businesses into focus. That essence leads us to everything that follows. As a former SVP of Global Communications, and general manager at Christian Louboutin, I have a broad vision and a broad toolkit. I lean on all my experience and trainings to support my clients both with the inner blocks and the external expression of what they want to share. For me, everything starts with establishing clarity around who you are, what your desire is, who your people are, and why you do what you do, before any steps are made to facilitate messaging or expression. From there, we dig into mission, purpose, vision, and values, not necessarily in that order, and never as statements to display, but as living reference points that guide your leadership, behaviour, and even growth. When these are clear, understood, and embodied, communication becomes simpler, accessible, and crucially, credible. *My gift is drawing out what's already inside you (or inside your project) and helping you shape it into something unmistakably yours, something you can carry forward with integrity and impact.* ### What I do The brands, founders, leaders, and creatives who come to me want to navigate the space between their inner knowing and their outer expression with more ease. Most arrive because the outer has become hard to grasp: the messaging isn't landing, the strategy feels off, the communication isn't resonating, the results are suffering. Communication, as most people think of it, is an external action — what I call surface work. My practice goes deeper. Because you can't build a house without strong foundations. With me, you start with digging: exploring the quality of the ground below, learning the terrain, getting to know the raw materials. These are essential to what gets built. And what we dig out doesn't get ignored or thrown out, it becomes part of the external architecture too. That's what makes the final expression and its strategy unmistakably yours. Inner first, then outer. One makes the other possible. ### How I work Connection doesn’t start with messaging. It starts with coherence. I work with people and organisations who want their communication to feel true – not persuasive, not performative, but grounded in who they actually are and what they envision. My role is to create the conditions for that clarity to emerge. We start by going inward and back, looking beneath the surface: intention, values, assumptions, and direction. From there, expression becomes more natural, expansive even. I draw on coaching, facilitation, mindfulness practices, and solid business experience. I work one-on-one and in groups, and love to use workshops as a medium that taps into collective intelligence and reveal what’s already present but not clearly articulated. The result isn’t louder communication. It’s communication that resonates. ### How I got here After I set off on my own in 2017, I couldn't help to notice: I could craft business and brand strategy for days, develop any brand's story, but I was terrible at talking about myself. That gap, between professional competence and self-presentation led me to the kind of coaching and advisory today. I began to write about it, making my challenges public, and it's the combination of authentic storytelling, communications expertise and this knowing of what it feels like when self-expression is excruciatingly hard, that brings a specific kind of client to my doors. In 2019, I made my own big move, or rather one of many big moves. I signed up to train as a mindfulness meditation teacher, with no idea how much it would change my life. I trusted that this was the path for me. That decision has re-shaped me, turning me into the guide and facilitator who trusts the call when I see it in someone else. My coaching clients are like me: they feel that need to bridge the gap between who they are and how they express themselves. Which is why they trust me when I say that powerful communication needs to be grounded with inner work first. In essence: you have to know who you are, and what you stand for, before you can figure out what to say and how to say it. My background spans two decades in luxury fashion, from retail and operations through PR and global communications — eventually becoming Christian Louboutin's first head of Global Communications. A certified coach. A mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation teacher, trained through the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Programme with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. Additional training in Anusara yoga, wise speech, nonviolent communication, somatic work, and the shamanic traditions my teachers pointed me toward. The blend between strategic business thinking, contemplative practice, and the deeper work of meaning-making is what makes my practice so distinctive. ### **From Global brand communications to Story of You** I speak, write, and research on Story of You: the work of aligning who you are with how you communicate. Through [Le Trente](https://letrente.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), my hybrid social learning studio, I facilitate workshops, masterclasses, curate online and in-person salons with guest contributors, host two podcasts (*Out of the Clouds* and *The Mettā View*), and publish regular writing on story, identity, authentic communication and the future of work. I process most of my thinking through writing — not in brainstorming sessions or speaking off the cuff, but on the page. **My newsletters aren’t "content" (I really dislike that word); they’re my actual practice, made public. I'm sharing the joys, the troubles, the explorations, in a bid to connect with you (if you so wish) through consistent, thoughtful presence and the willingness to show your thinking as it develops.** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/AVM_Anne_V_Muhlethaler_logo_Banner_Website-1.png) #### **Story as a meaning-making and healing** As I've discovered for myself, the more work you do on your own narrative, the more inner clarity you find, the more purposeful and connected to yourself you will feel. Story coaching, narrative coaching, brand clarity work: all of this is powerful work, not self-indulgent exploration. It isn't work you do in place of changing the world. It's one of the ways the world actually changes. That's why I love doing what I do. Helping someone find resonance in themselves is my contribution to spreading fairness and kindness in the world — because it's how light travels through a network. It's also the belief my work rests on, and the belief my best clients tend to share: this work isn't only for you. If that resonates, we'll likely work well together. ### Kind words from former clients > "I worked with Anne, both as a personal coach as well as on brand development. Anne has the unique ability to almost act like a human mirror. > She is able to comprehend the essence of a person or project and reflect it back in a way that allows one to see it clearly for oneself. This understanding creates the basis of her work and allows one to act with a clear vision and understanding of ones values, strengths and goals." Hanna Fiedler, founder at [Hanna Fiedler](https://www.hannafiedler.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ## **Ways to work together: workshops, consulting, and community** **Story of You workshop** – My signature program for reconnecting to yourself and clarifying your communication (look for upcoming dates on[ this Luma calendar](https://luma.com/letrente?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)) **Consulting** – Custom strategic communication work for businesses and brands - get in touch: hey@annevmuhlethaler.com **Le Trente workshops & salons** – [Browse the schedule](https://luma.com/letrente?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) for live programming in Geneva and online **Loving Kindness 101** – A foundational meditation course[ available on Insight Timer](https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/loving-kindness-101?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **Join the community** – Sign up to get my essays and news right to your inbox, including podcasts, events, and much more. **1:1 Coaching** – Need help to reframe your story, craft a narrative, or navigate change? If so, get in touch. [Book your exploratory call](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/discovery-conversation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Brand work that feels like therapy. URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/brand-work/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T10:30:18.000Z *"People don't just come to me for strategy. They come for the space I hold and for how I help them see themselves."* You've built something meaningful, a company, a project. Or you're about to. But somewhere between what you want this to become and what you've got in front of you, something feels off. The vision is clear in your head. The rest doesn't quite match. You're not the kind to put more noise into the world. You want to see and feel a coherence between what you believe, what you're building, and how you communicate it. Right. Even if you've done this kind of work before, the objectives, the values, the mission, the story, there's always more to uncover. **This is where we start.** --- ### **The full package** Working with me is the equivalent of engaging a coach, a mindfulness teacher, a general manager and a former Global Head of Communications — simultaneously. That's not a metaphor. It's the very combination of training, experience and practice I bring to every client engagement. ### **How this actually works** I don't hand you a strategy document I wrote in advance. I interview you deeply about your business, your experience, what's worked and what hasn't, and the questions you're wrestling with now. Then I synthesise everything — things you know but haven't yet articulated — into clear strategic frameworks you can actually use. **Simply put, it's your wisdom, organised.** This is what my clients mean when they say it feels like therapy. We excavate what's there. We find the thread. We build from that. --- ## Two ways to work together. ### **For founders preparing to launch** You're building something new and want to get the foundations right before you go to market. We start with deep discovery, meaning uncovering your story, clarifying your values, and establishing the communication pillars that will carry your brand forward. From there, we can continue into launch readiness: refining your messaging, aligning your strategy, and making sure you enter the market with clarity and confidence. ### **For established businesses ready to reconnect** You'll probably come to me thinking you want to work on communication. And we will. But before we communicate, we need to return to the foundations. You can't find the right thread to express your brand. Sales have plateaued. There may be a disconnect, not just in how you communicate externally, but internally too, between teams or departments. These are signs it's time to go back to what matters: business objectives, values, mission, vision. The work is deep, structured, and often brings teams closer together — not just through strategy, but through the process itself. --- ### Is this the right fit? **It is if:** — You're building something original, something that doesn't fit neatly into existing categories. — You're driven by the idea of creative positive impact in the world. — You understand that how you communicate is inseparable from what you offer. You want to get it right, not just get it done. — You're ready to start ASAP. **It isn't if:** — You see communication as a necessary evil rather than essential. — You want tactics without going back to the foundations. — You're looking for someone to execute while you stay hands-off. This work requires your presence. --- ### A note on what this work requires. Strategic clarity isn't a quick-return investment. It compounds over months as your decisions become sharper and your positioning becomes clearer. Working together has a side effect you'll find with any good consultant: you'll have a lot of work after our sessions. If you're deep in the weeds of building operations, you won't have the bandwidth to attend to what we create together. This work is for you if you're ready to invest in foundational strategy that will guide your decisions for years to come. Testimonials ## What clients say. Pippa Small Founder > “We were introduced to Anne Mühlethaler a year ago to look into digital marketing consultation for our company. What we found was that Anne has given us so much more than just marketing advice. As a business that has been active for over 25 years we were in desperate need of a post‑covid look at ourselves, our ethos, our dreams, our communication and our mission. Anne has held our hand through advice on difficult conversations, introductions to helpful relevant external partners and helping us step outside ourselves and look at the business from a new perspective. It has been an extremely helpful, inspiring, motivating and exciting journey that we just want to carry on with Anne forever.” > “Anne has the unique ability to almost act as a human mirror. She is able to comprehend the essence of a person or project and reflect it back in a way that allows one to see it clearly for oneself.” — Hanna Fiedler, Founder Nina Runsdorf Founder “Working with Anne Mühlethaler is one of the best decisions I have made, both professionally and personally. Anne has the keen ability to see both the big picture as to potential growth of my business as well as some critical ways to better organize the day‑to‑day business operations. Anne is an incredible people‑connector and through her extensive network of contacts, I have been able to expand my business into new venues and new business opportunities, as well as introducing me to talented consultants that bring fresh perspectives and energy to my business. Anne always operates at the highest level of confidentiality. She is smart, thoughtful, trustworthy, and a pleasure to work with.” Roland Mouret Founder & Creative Director “Anne allowed me to focus on the needs of the company. From recruiting the right elements in these troubled times, to visualising the brand's DNA through social media, Anne is a true multifaceted professional.” Michelle Mahlke General Manager “Anne was brought in to distill the vision of the founder and creative director into a clearly deliverable global communications strategy. She was tasked with sourcing new talent to lead agreed activations, while simultaneously mentoring a young communications team. Anne's approach was agile and results driven, ranging from strategy to implementation, board level to inter‑departmental, external to internal communications, all while keeping the broader business goals in mind. Anne is a changemaker and can be relied on to bring innovative approaches and new perspectives to any project. I would not hesitate to work with her again.” Natascha Sayn‑Wittgenstein Founder “Anne Mühlethaler was recommended to me by a friend and not only did I discover an amazing person but also a great asset for my company. She has on top of that a very mindful and human approach to the business. Anne is a “visionnaire”, she is very good at growing your business on a 360 level.” > “I couldn't have asked for a better sparring partner than Anne. Not only does she have an in‑depth understanding of the fashion industry, she takes a holistic view on the projects she's working on — calm, always friendly, and highly competent.” — Gunnar Brock, Former COO --- ## About me, Anne V Mühlethaler. 17 years at Christian Louboutin — from shop assistant to general manager to the brand's first SVP of Global Communications. Following that, seven years as an independent communications and business advisor, working with founders of luxury and design brands. And then Le Trente — a social learning studio at the intersection of mindfulness, story and authentic expression. She is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher (MMTCP with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield), a trained life coach (Martha Beck's Wayfinder programme), and has studied nonviolent communication, somatic awareness, contemplative psychotherapy and narrative. She is also the creator of the Story of You methodology — a framework working at the intersection of identity, belief systems and professional communication. ### In their words > *"Working with you has changed my life. You have given me my story — how precious is that? And you have given me the confidence to make this move now, without fear."* > > — David H. --- ### Investment Engagements typically run between 3 and 12 months, depending on scope and objectives. I work internationally and invoices in USD, EUR or CHF. ****CURIOUS TO SEE IF I CAN SUPPORT YOU?** Start with a complimentary 40-minute exploratory conversation. Together, we review what you're working with, whether timing and conditions are right, and whether I am the right person to support you. By the end of our call, you'll have more clarity than you came in with. And if we feel like a match, I'll share how I could support you, whether that's through coaching, consulting, or a blend of both. [Book your call ](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/discovery-conversation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) [**Book a discovery call →**](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/discovery-conversation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ### **Not quite ready?** Join my private list for founders and leaders. Over the coming weeks, I'll share how I think about brand foundations, communication, and the work that makes both land. [**Sign up here →**](https://letrente.kit.com/founders-ready-newsletter?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ### The story you tell yourself is the one you live by URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/coaching/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T10:37:16.000Z ## ### *How do I remove the obstacles in my way?* ### *What do I do to be the most “me” I can be?* ### What story am I living from, and how do I clear the ones that no longer serve me? ### *How do I live my most honest life?* Not the Instagram version. The heart-and-soul one. The one you’d want in your eulogy. --- **Most often, people come to me with declarative problems: “I’m bad at this.” “I need help with that because…” or "something's wrong."** Underneath we usually find there's a question they are trying to answer, because they’ve hit a wall somehow: How do I stop getting in my own way? How do I move through this? How do I become more of who I already am? **What is the common thread? Under all these questions are stories. Beliefs. Internal and external narratives.** Those imposed from society, family, those that we inherit (epigenetics, anyone?). Some of these support and serve us. Some, not so much. Many of our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves are, simply put, fake news. When we examine the story, we get to re-author it. And when we re-author it, we create the possibility of change. > *The story comes before the change.* --- 01 A FELLOW TRAVELLER. A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD. ## Hey, I'm Anne. I’m a way seer, or you could say a pattern-breaker, someone who has spent years learning to notice the beliefs running my life from the inside: the ones that kept me from daring to make a change when it was time to, that stopped me from asking for help, that made me shut down when it was time to speak up. **I believe that one of the most important things we are here to experience in this lifetime is to be ourselves, the truest version of ourselves. To sing our metaphorical song.** For me, that was also literal. Most of my twenties were devoted to building my voice and pursuing a career as a singer. I went against the grain, trying to become an artist in a family of scientific minds, and that experience of following a passion that didn’t fit the script is behind so much of what I do now. I dropped out of university where I was reading English, philosophy, and psychology. It’s almost poetic to find myself where I am today. Much of my work springs from memoir writing and journaling, alongside studying and teaching Buddhist and Asian philosophy, coaching, and somatic practices, while leaning on ACT, IFS, self-narrative, and other tools that help people understand themselves from the inside out. **I wouldn’t be where I am had I not also become a meditator,** and eventually a meditation teacher. Mettā, aka loving-kindness meditation, and mindfulness taught me to notice the thoughts and emotions moving through me, and the physical reactions that accompanied them. Simply put, thoughts are stories, and many of them were not serving me. I’m still learning to be with it all, and to meet experience not just in the head or the heart, but in the body too. **As a coach, I’m not here as someone who has arrived.** I’m here as someone who has put in the hours to understand the path, and who has built the tools, training, and practice to walk alongside you on yours. **My own story is ironic.** I used to think I was bad at telling stories. I carried that belief for years after a botched attempt to entertain my extended family at a big holiday gathering. **Meanwhile, what skill do you think you need to sell luxury women’s shoes but stories!** In my personal life, that belief had me hold back from sharing myself. At work, it became the bedrock of my career. Over my years at Christian Louboutin, I edited press releases while never daring to write them, and yet I was writing brilliant emails to CEOs of major global brands. Emails that required precision, empathy, strategy, and voice. I was doing the thing while telling myself I couldn’t do the thing. That gap, between what I was capable of and what I allowed myself to claim, shaped my career for longer than I’d like to admit. It also became the foundation of everything I now do. I spent seventeen years at Christian Louboutin, rising from the shop floor to Senior Vice President of Global Communications. I helped build a great company. I helped a brand find its voice at global scale. And after I left, I faced the challenge of finally understanding my own. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/Anne-muhlethaler-coach-consultant-avm-consulting-out-of-the-clouds_AVM_04_bkw.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/673AE0EC-E695-49B1-9D74-183BDEAD9EAC.JPEG) --- 02 WHAT WE ACTUALLY WORK ON ## Most people come to me thinking they have a communication problem. **Or a self-expression problem. Or a confidence problem. When we go beneath the surface, we usually find an inner story problem.** Not the story you’re telling others, but the ones running your life from the inside. The stories that make you edit out your thoughts before you’ve opened your mouth. The ones that keep you circling the same annoying patterns. The ones that have you keep quiet or fail to jump at the right opportunities. The work is also about allowing ourselves to go beyond what our rational mind tells us we are allowed to dream. Part of what we do together is clear the ground, and then open the space for something new to emerge. I work with where you’re at, not where you wish you were. We might tackle the things you keep leaving out, the stories you tell yourself, the beliefs that live under the surface, and the patterns or obstacles that keep repeating. We might work with your voice and self-expression, whether at work, at home, on the page, or on a stage. And we might work with your dreams, your orientation, and the practices that help you develop inner knowing, from visualisation and goal setting to presence, mindfulness, and listening. --- 03 WHO THIS IS FOR ## People who are ready to piece their story together. Who want to surface the meaning. Who are ready to dive deep, collect the pearls, and need help stringing them together. Beyond the metaphor, it could be: People who have a sense that something in them wants to move, and who are eager to find what’s in the way. People navigating a transition, personal, professional, or both. A new chapter, a creative block, a dream they have trouble envisioning. Those who have been through burnout and want to rebuild trust in themselves. People who want to be heard, privately or in the world, and know they have a story, a perspective, or a voice that hasn’t yet found its full expression. People who think they have a communication problem, a confidence problem, or a visibility problem, and are willing to discover what’s underneath. People who want to take up space and make their voices heard. That is the deeper purpose of this work. **Steve Jobs once said: “The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller. The storyteller sets the vision, values, and agenda of an entire generation to come.”** **If that’s true (and I believe it is) then the question of who gets to tell their story, and whose story gets heard, matters enormously.** **The inner work of understanding *your own story* is also, always, the beginning of something that reaches *outward.* When we understand ourselves better, we express ourselves from a place of inner knowing — and in doing so, we touch something in others. We help them rethink their own story.** **That is the deeper purpose of this work.** --- 04 HOW WE WORK ## My coach Martha Beck likes to say that the coach is meant to be the window, not the light, not to illuminate, but to help you see through whatever you need to see through. That is the stance I bring to every session. I meet you where you are, with presence, empathy, and deep listening. We begin with your story, orient to what matters now, and stay flexible when life asks for something different. With your consent, we will go beneath the surface to where images, memories, words, and insight are waiting. The work is co-created, and you’ll be able to see the progress in your own words. --- 05 A NOTE ON WHAT THIS SPACE IS ## This is not a space of productivity. You do not need to arrive having done your homework, hit your milestones, or prepared a progress report. This is a space of personal discovery, exploration, and connection to yourself. You may have objectives, and I may give you homework, but the work is for you, not for me. What I hope you’ll find here is a quality of presence, a clearer sense of who you are and what you stand for, and, perhaps, a genuine enjoyment of the process. Inner inquiry asks a lot of us. It invites us to face change, fear, and hope, and to do so with courage. Yes to accountability, but no to pressure. Especially not the idea that inner work has to be productive. Want to know what it feels like to work with me? I wrote it all down here. [Read on ](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/how-i-work/) --- 06 KIND WORDS ### What my clients say ### > *"Our work together has helped me create clear goals with meaningful outcomes for building my business and brand. When we started, I had a book launching in one month and had not done much prep work for the launch. Since our collaboration, I have appeared on two podcasts, been featured in two magazines, and a speaking event. You also helped me understand how to build my brand through storytelling and make it authentic to me. You have nurtured my creativity and helped me to achieve real outcomes. I was also standing in my way with limiting beliefs, and through your mindfulness approach, it has helped shine a light on the blocks I was putting in my path."* > — **Jessica Faith Graham** · Therapist and author of *The Love Inside* > *"When I started to work with Anne I was completely lost. With her unique mix of business and spirituality, she helped me transition out of my corporate mindset into believing and doing what is true to myself. I started to trust in myself again. I would not have been able to do it without her!" — Alex* > > *"Working with you has changed my life. You have given me my story — how precious is that? And you have given me the confidence to make this move now, without fear." — David* > > *"If you're waiting for a sign to work with Anne — this is it. When I started coaching with her, I had one clear question in mind. By the time we finished, I had twenty more. And that's a good thing. Anne created the space I needed to untangle my thoughts and stood beside me to explore uncharted territory, always ready with some words of wisdom and a quote or two. Her presence and way of seeing the world absolutely changed mine. And I have no doubt she'll change yours too." — Anonymous* > > *"Anne is a holistic and strategic thinker — and incredibly easy to talk to. Through our conversations she encouraged me to step into moments and experiences where I felt my best. Together, we celebrated my strengths and discussed strategies for carrying that energy into all aspects of my life. In a short time, I've referenced back approaches that we worked on with much success." — Danielle* > > *"She had a deep understanding of both me and my business, bringing attention to details I had overlooked and expanding my understanding of what I had to offer. Anne guided me in reassessing my values and ensuring that how I present myself aligns with who I am and what I stand for. I enthusiastically recommend her to anyone seeking a profound exploration of their business and a meaningful way to articulate their story." — Julia* > > *"I'm not sure words can describe the impact you had on me — I am still digesting the experience, synapses are still firing. You are pure magic." — Sophie* [![CTA Image](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/kaven-ong-NUTIOV8dlKc-unsplash-1.jpg)](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/discovery-conversation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ****READY TO BEGIN?** Start with a complimentary 40-minute exploratory conversation. We'll discuss what you're working with, whether this is the right moment, and whether I may be the right person to support you. By the end of our call, you'll have more clarity than you came in with. And if we feel like a match, I'll share how I could support you, whether that's through coaching, consulting, or a blend of both. [Book your discovery call ](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/discovery-conversation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) 07 EXPERTISE, CERTIFICATIONS & QUALIFICATIONS ### Credentials I spent 17 years at Christian Louboutin, rising from Saturday girl to General Manager (UK) to SVP of Global Communications, before leaving to set off on my own as a brand and communications consultant. In 2025, I founded Le Trente, a hybrid social learning studio, that offers salons, podcasts, masterclasses and workshops, for the intellectually hungry and the spiritually curious. I am a certified mindfulness meditation teacher (MMTCP with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield), a trained life coach (Martha Beck's Wayfinder IFC certified program), and I continue to study extensively, following my instinct to blend nonviolent communication, somatic awareness, storytelling and other techniques. I host two podcasts — *Out of the Clouds* and *The Mettā View* — and teach weekly meditation on Insight Timer. My coaching draws on everything I have lived, studied, and built. Which is to say, it's entirely my own. There is nothing I love more than supporting people who are looking for this particular combination: empathy, curious intellect, an obsession with story, curious about finding more purpose and meaning in their life, with a desire to become more themselves. #### Certifications and qualifications - [Wayfinder Life Coach Training](https://marthabeck.com/life-coach-training/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)[,](https://marthabeck.com/life-coach-training/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ATCP Training Program with Martha Beck - Trauma Informed Certificate with [the Centre for Healing](https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) (ongoing) - [The Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program](https://mmtcp.soundstrue.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) (MMTCP), with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield - Anusara Yoga 200YTT with Suzanne Faith of Bindu School of Yoga - [The Contemplative Psychotherapy Program](https://nalandainstitute.org/contemplative-psychotherapy-program/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), Mindfulness Year and Compassion Year with the Nalanda Institute for Contemplative Science - [Mindfulness Mentor Training](https://banyantogether.com/courses/mindfulness-mentor-training?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) with Banyan, founded by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield - [Mindful Leadership Training](https://courses.spiritrock.org/sp/mindfulness-leadership-training/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) with Spirit Rock - [The Playing Big Facilitator Training](https://playingbig.taramohr.com/facilitators-training/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) with Tara Mohr (pending certification) - [Scaling Intimacy](https://scalingintimacy.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), Virtual Experience Design Training - [Say What You Mean](https://www.orenjaysofer.com/schedule/swym-8b?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), conscious communication modules 1 and 2 with Oren Jay Sofer - Wise Speech, with Oren Jay Sofer via the Barre Centre for Buddhist Studies - The AntiRacist Challenge (ongoing) - \- The Copy Workshop, The Storytelling Workshop, The Podcast Fellowship, and she is an AltMBA 14 alumn - all [Akimbo Programs](https://www.akimbo.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) 08 FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS #### Click to expand ****Is this therapy?** No. Coaching and therapy are different practices. Therapy tends to focus on healing the past; coaching works primarily with the present and the future. That said, story coaching goes deep — it isn’t a surface-level goal-setting exercise. If at any point it becomes clear that therapeutic support would serve you better, I will say so, with care. Many clients work with both a therapist and a coach simultaneously. ****Do I need to have a specific goal to start?** No. Many people arrive with a sense that something needs to shift — but without being able to name exactly what. That’s a perfectly good place to begin. Part of the early work is finding the right question, which is often more valuable than arriving with the answer. ****What if I’ve never worked with a coach before?** The discovery call is designed to give you a feel for how I work before you commit to anything. Most people who’ve never worked with a coach are surprised by how different it feels from what they expected. It’s less like being given advice and more like being heard — properly — perhaps for the first time in a while. ****How do I know which frequency is right for me?** We’ll explore this together on the discovery call. ****How is this different from consulting?** In consulting, I bring knowledge, frameworks, and strategic thinking to help you build something external — a brand, a communication strategy, an offer. In coaching, I bring presence and questions. The answers are already in you. My job is to help you find them. Some clients work with me in both capacities — but they are different kinds of engagement, and I keep them distinct. ****Do you work in languages other than English?** Yes. I also coach in French. If French is your first language or simply more comfortable for the inner work, we can work that way. ****Is there a wait list?** I work with a limited number of individual clients at any one time to protect the quality of the work. If you’re interested, the best first step is always the discovery call, we’ll know fairly quickly whether the timing is right. Not quite ready? Sign up to join my email list. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Get in touch URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/contact/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T10:41:42.000Z For any coaching or consulting inquiries, please email hey@annevmuhlethaler.com or book a 30min discovery call [here](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/discovery-conversation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). For speaking inquiries, kindly fill out [this form](https://zootulwcowb.typeform.com/to/UdfbkYru?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) and I will get back to you. I aim to respond within 48 hours. For podcast, panels or media appearances, please fill out [this dedicated form](https://zootulwcowb.typeform.com/to/e0Zqv3wK?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). Let's get to know each other? Say hello on social: [BlueSky](https://bsky.app/profile/annvi.bsky.social?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/annvi/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) [Threads](https://www.threads.com/@annvi?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/@annevmuhlethaler?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Privacy & Cookie Policy URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/privacy/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T10:19:59.000Z # ## Who we are This website is operated by Anne V Mühlethaler, independent consultant, 31 rue Liotard, 1202 Genève, Switzerland. Questions? Email [hey@annevmuhlethaler.com](mailto:hey@annevmuhlethaler.com) ## Data we collect and why **Newsletter & membership** — If you subscribe, we store your name and email address via Ghost to send you updates and occasional offerings. You can unsubscribe at any time via the link in any email. Subscriber data is also synced to Kit (formerly ConvertKit) for email management purposes. If you have signed up for one of our offerings, your email address may also be shared with Meta in hashed form so we can show you relevant ads on their platforms; you can ask us to exclude you from this at any time. **Purchases** — Payments are processed by Stripe. We receive your name, email address, and purchase details, which are stored in Kit alongside your subscriber record so we can deliver what you bought and follow up appropriately. We never see or store your card details. Purchase information may also be shared with Meta for advertising measurement (see below). **Analytics** — We use Plausible Analytics — a GDPR-compliant, cookieless service that collects anonymised data (page views, referrers) without personal identifiers, IP logging, or cross-site tracking. No consent is required for this and it runs for all visitors. **Advertising** — With your consent (see Cookies below), we use the Meta Pixel to understand how visitors find this site and whether our ads led to signups or purchases. This records the pages you visit here and, if you arrived from an ad, which ad brought you to this website. If you decline, the tracking will be disabled. **Contact forms** — If you submit a speaking inquiry via our form (powered by Typeform), we collect your name, email, and the details you provide, used solely to respond to your inquiry. ## Cookies We ask before setting any tracking cookies. When you first visit, a small banner offers you Accept or Decline: - **Accept** loads the Meta Pixel and Able CDP tracking described above, which set a small number of cookies used for advertising attribution. - **Decline** loads nothing, and we remember that. Either way, your choice is stored in your browser so we don't ask again. To change your mind later, clear this site's data in your browser and the banner will reappear. Embedded forms may store temporary session data locally in your browser for functionality only. ## Your rights Under GDPR you have the right to access, correct, or delete your personal data at any time, and to withdraw any consent you've given. Email [hey@annevmuhlethaler.com](mailto:hey@annevmuhlethaler.com) to exercise these rights. ## Your controls You can decline tracking via our consent banner, block scripts via browser settings or privacy extensions, or adjust your ad preferences directly with Meta. Plausible respects Do Not Track signals. ## Updates We may update this policy periodically. Continued use of the site constitutes acceptance. *Last updated: July 2026* ### Story of You URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/story-of-you/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T14:26:27.000Z You've been in that moment. Someone asks what you do, or what you'd bring, or why you, and what comes out is technically true and somehow completely insufficient. You hear yourself and think: oh no, that's not it. Or at least, *that's not all of it.* Maybe you've rewritten your bio so many times you've stopped trusting your own instincts about it. Maybe you prepared, you showed up, and the words still didn't come. Maybe you're mid-pivot (a new business, a new chapter) and the old story no longer fits, but you're not sure how to tell the story of who you are while you are still *becoming*. **Most people who arrive at this point think they have a communication problem. A confidence problem. A clarity problem.** **What they actually have is a story problem. And once you can see it, everything shifts.** --- ## **What is really going on** There is a version of you that you know privately. The one that thinks deeply, cares fiercely, has done remarkable things, and sees the world in a particular way. And then there is the version you present. For most of us it's smaller, safer, edited down to what seems acceptable or *easy to explain.* This gap is not a personal failing. It is structural. Aka it's not you, it's how we're built. **Over time, we each develop an inner narrative, a self-story shaped by the feedback we received, the environments we moved through, the moments that left a mark. Just like an algorithm would, our inner system learns what to surface and what to suppress. And for most of us, it has been suppressing very important parts.** The experience that feels inconsequential, or confusing. The thread we can feel running through everything but cannot name. The previous chapter we think no longer fits the current identity. We edit these out, thinking we are in control, when we are actually being managed by our inner machine, and in doing so, **we often edit out exactly what would make someone lean in.** The work is retrieval. The story was always there. We are learning to see it again. --- ## **The methodology** ### The Story of You works at the intersection of three things. *Story.* Not as performance or technique, but as the fundamental way humans make meaning and connection. When we share a story grounded in what we genuinely value, the person listening doesn't analyse it — they feel it first. Before judgment, before evaluation, something lands. Stories are how we learn without explanation. Which means the most generous thing you can do for any audience — an interviewer, a potential client, a room of strangers — is give them a story that tells them who you are before they have to guess. *Values.* Because the stories that resonate are the ones spoken from the core of who you actually are. Not the polished version. The true one. Values are the engine of resonance — and they are always already there, embedded in the experiences you have lived. This is where we go looking for them. *Discernment.* The capacity to evaluate your own narrative. To ask: does this story nourish me or deplete me? Is it mine, or did I inherit it? Does it open something or close it down? Discernment is what turns self-awareness into agency. You are not at the mercy of your story. You are in relationship with it. --- ## **The Fundamentals Workshop** Two hours. Small group. A starting point, not a solution. **You will not leave with a finished pitch or a polished elevator script. You will leave with something more valuable at this stage: an understanding of why it has been hard, a felt sense of what matters most, and the beginning of a language that is unmistakably yours.** Most people spend years thinking they have a communication problem. In two hours, you will understand what is actually going on — and begin to change your relationship to how you see and speak about yourself. *What happens in the room:* Through guided reflection, structured journaling, and carefully held sharing, you will surface experiences you may not have thought about in years. You will begin to see what they have in common. You will practise putting them into words in a context that is genuinely safe. *After two hours, you will have:* - Understood why leading with story rather than credentials or concepts creates genuine resonance - Discovered why your values are the engine of that resonance, and how to find them in moments you have actually lived - Surfaced two or three stories from your own life that connect to your core values in ways you probably were not expecting - A real starting point — because you cannot craft communication that sounds like you until you know what you are drawing from *This workshop is for you if:* You can feel the gap between who you are and how you come across. You have tried to write your bio or tell your story and none of it sounds like you. You are navigating a pivot or a new chapter and the old story no longer fits. You know there is more depth in you than what you are currently communicating, you just cannot reach it on demand. You are ready to do real reflection, not skip straight to tactics. *It is probably not for you if:* You are looking for a formula, want someone to write your story for you, or are not willing to look at the experiences that actually shaped you. **Booking links for upcoming dates (online only):** - [Saturday April 18th](https://luma.com/uh53d8ey?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), 11am ET | 4pm GMT | 5pm CET - [Wednesday May 20th](https://luma.com/b47jnr7h?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), 12.30pm ET | 5.30pm GMT | 6.30pm CET - [Wednesday June 17th](https://luma.com/xr7wwbsu?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), 10.30am ET | 3.30pm GMT | 4.40pm CET Online via Zoom. Follow Le Trente's Luma calendar for more workshops and opportunities --- **Story Alchemy** A bi-monthly practice circle for those who want to go deeper. We write together, witness each other's stories, and develop the discernment to tell the difference between the narratives that serve us and the ones simply running on old fuel. Available as a standalone session or alongside the workshop. [*Learn more →* ](https://letrente.com/avm-events/story-alchemy?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- **Your Story, Your Map** A self-guided reflection to help you make sense of where you've been, recalibrate, and find the thread again. An ebook, an audio recording, and an editable workbook — so you can begin by listening and take your time with the questions. For those who feel something needs to shift, but aren't quite ready for a live workshop or 1:1 work. A place to start, at your own pace. [*Purchase your guide →*](https://letrente.kit.com/products/your-story-your-map?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- **Work with Anne directly** For those ready to do this work in depth, privately, with full attention. We excavate the story, find the through-line, and build something you can actually use. [*Book a call →* ](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/discovery-conversation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- **About your guide** Anne Mühlethaler is a story coach, certified mindfulness teacher, and founder of Le Trente. Before building her own practice, she spent seventeen years at Christian Louboutin, eventually as SVP of Global Communications. This methodology grew from her own process of making sense of a complex, nonlinear story, and from working with founders, executives, creatives, and leaders navigating the same terrain. --- *You already have everything you need. The work is learning to see it.* The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Speaker - Moderator - Facilitator URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/speaking/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T14:41:46.000Z *"I believe that everything in life can be solved by better communication. My mission is to help people tell a better story."* Anne V. Mühlethaler is an entrepreneur, coach, and storyteller who guides brands and leaders in crafting stories that resonate. Through expert strategy, creativity, and a spark of magic, she helps transform ideas into communication that inspires and connects. Expertise That Bridges Coaching, Storytelling, Business & Mindfulness Drawing from 17 years at Christian Louboutin and extensive training in mindfulness and coaching, I help people and organisations craft authentic narratives that foster real connection. From my journey as a Saturday girl on the shop floor to becoming the brand’s first Global Head of Communications across London, New York and Paris, to founding Le Trente, I bring a unique blend of high-level business experience, contemplative practice and mindful communication to every speaking engagement. ## Topics and themes **\- Story of You:** Discover your authentic voice and foster deeper connections How to share your value(s) with the world Bridge the gap between who you are and how you present yourself **\- The Power of Authentic Storytelling:** How to discover and articulate your unique narrative Building brand resonance through genuine stories The neuroscience of storytelling and emotional connection **\- Mindful Communication for Business Impact:** Bridging mindfulness and strategic communication Creating clarity in mission, vision, and values Leading with authenticity in the digital age \- **Mindful Leadership & Communication:** Building resilience through mindfulness-based leadership practices Creating clarity and presence in complex environments Leading with authenticity whilst managing uncertainty **\- Brand Building Through Human Connection:** Strategies from luxury fashion to modern business Creating emotional resonance with your audience Building loyal communities through authentic engagement **\- Mindful Integration Sessions:** Bespoke sessions tailored to your event's needs Perfect for conference openings, closings, or mid-day reset Combines brief teaching with experiential practice Helps audiences integrate key insights from events ### Past audiences include The Career Women Forum, Soho House Berlin, Women in Digital Switzerland, The Marketing Meetup > *"We had the pleasure of inviting Anne to speak at Women in Digital, and she brought such a grounding and inspiring energy to the room. She opened and closed the session with moments of mindfulness that helped everyone pause, connect, and be fully present. Her calm and reassuring voice carried those practices beautifully, setting the tone for reflection and focus. Through anchoring and her thoughtful stories, Anne guided us into a true learner’s mindset, one that encouraged openness, curiosity, and growth. Her presence was both gentle and powerful, creating a safe space where participants could engage more deeply with the session. The value she added to our event was remarkable, and we’ll be inviting her again."* \- Nadia Mohajed, Women in Digital Switzerland, Geneva Chapter > *"Anne was an absolute joy to have as a speaker at *The Marketing Meetup Geneva*. She brought an incredible mix of warmth, insight, and practical guidance that resonated deeply with our community. Her session on values-based storytelling not only inspired the room but also equipped attendees to find and share their own authentic stories with confidence. The atmosphere she created was one of openness and connection, perfectly aligned with TMM’s ethos of kindness and community. We had fantastic feedback from participants who left feeling inspired and ready to put their stories to work. I can wholeheartedly recommend Anne as a speaker who combines expertise with empathy, and who leaves a lasting impact on her audience" - Joanna Duncan, TMM Geneva* ### Current roles & training Host of [Out of the Clouds Podcast](https://outoftheclouds.com/the-podcast/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) Host of[ The Metta Interview](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-metta-interview/id1832511055?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) Host [Le Trente](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/@/page/F2aQGe3gRTWcDml3) Salons Leadership Advisory Council Member, [Grameen Foundation](https://grameenfoundation.org/stories/press-releases/announcing-the-first-cohort-of-grameen-foundations-leadership-advisory-council?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher (MMTCP with Tara Brach & Jack Kornfield) Certified Wayfinder Life Coach (with Martha Beck, PhD) Mindful communication and wise speech practitioner Playing Big alumni with Tara Mohr Mindfulness Mentor with Banyan (Tara Brach & Jack Kornfield) ## Formats While I have developed several popular formats, I really enjoy customising each event to gear it to the needs of each audience. **Keynote presentations** (15-60 minutes) **Half-Day workshops** (3-4 hours, up to 40 participants) **Virtual sessions** (1-2 hours, optimised for online delivery) **Panel discussions & fireside chats** Do get in touch to discuss your ideas or event requirements and I"ll have great pleasure in drafting a proposal tailored to your needs. ### Listen to Anne in action Want to get a sense of my speaking style and expertise? Here are some recent conversations and appearances: \- [**Out of the Clouds Podcast**](https://outoftheclouds.com/the-podcast/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com): Host and moderator of conversations at the intersection of business and mindfulness \- [**The Metta Interview:**](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/@/page/Yv94PNJDsfjgk5XA) host and producer of generous conversations with brilliant humans **For recent podcast interviews and other features, head over** [**here**](https://letrente.com/features-press?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**.** ### Request Speaking Information Ready to explore possibilities? [Fill out my enquiry form](https://zootulwcowb.typeform.com/to/UdfbkYru?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). I'll personally review your needs and get back to you within 48 hours. ## Shall we discuss your event? If you have a specific idea in mind and would like to bring me on, let's hop on a call. [Schedule a call](https://cal.eu/avm-letrente/intro-call-with-anne?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ### On Making URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/on-making/ Last updated: 2026-03-16T15:53:17.000Z creativity, building things, the podcast world. Under careful construction. Come back soon. ### INNER WORK URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/inner-work/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:13:57.000Z A space for reflection, sense-making, and orientation. ## Inner work, for me, begins with attention. For many years, I’ve worked with contemplative practices — though the word *contemplation* didn’t enter my vocabulary until a moment I still remember vividly. During my yoga teacher training, after an intense physical practice, our instructor guided us into a long savasana. We hovered in that liminal state between sleep and wakefulness. Then, slowly, we were invited to sit, eyes downcast, and hold a single question in meditation: ### *What is an obstacle I am putting in my own way?* There was no rush to answer. No analysis. Just attention. After a few minutes, we opened our eyes and began to write. I remember being struck by how much emerged — not because I was searching for answers, but because I had allowed the question to work on me. That moment revealed something essential: a single, well-held question can be catalytic. It can open space. It can guide us forward. *And of course, I realised just how many obstacles I was putting in my own way in that instant. Funny and worrying and very empowering, all at the same time.* This experience marked the beginning of a long relationship with powerful questions, guided reflection, meditation, and coaching. Today, as a story coach working at the intersection of the stories we tell ourselves and the way we express our value(s) in the world, I create contemplative practices designed to help you explore your inner landscape, gently, honestly, and at your own pace. This is not about fixing yourself or finding quick answers. It’s about creating the conditions for clarity to emerge. The guided reflections you’ll find here are invitations into that space. A soft, personal form of coaching — and a place to begin. ## Your Story, Your Map ![A hand drawn constellation on a very dark blue background](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/Your-Story--Your-Map-square.png) A hand-drawn constellation by Miki Lowe for Anne Muhlethaler and Le Trente **Your Story, Your Map is where many people begin.** A guided reflection for moments of transition, when you feel a little lost and you realise you need to pause, look back (and around), to orient yourself before moving forward. This is for when: Life feels busy but strangely empty. Forward motion feels premature. You want to move but unsure toward what. Your goals feels so unattainable and you want to chart a course that's right for you. *And if you're feeling unmoored not just by your own life, but by everything happening in the world right now — this works for that too. Connecting to what matters is always an anchor.* Maybe you're between chapters. Maybe the path that made sense six months ago doesn't anymore. Maybe you're moving forward but you've lost the thread of *why*. ### **Inside, you'll work through** - The patterns that have shaped your journey (and which ones are ready to shift) - The moments that matter — and what they're telling you about what comes next - Your personal constellation of values, skills, and desires that point the way forward ​ ### **What you get** → The ebook (read at your pace) → Audio recording (listen while you walk, think, or just sit) → Editable PDF workbook (this is where the real work happens — journal, reflect, map your way to recalibration) I recommend starting with the audio, listening first, letting the questions do what they do, then taking pen to paper for the work.​**​** **This isn't a quick fix. It's a tool for the long game, to get deep clarity from within.** **​**​ It's $5, by design. Instead of offering this for free, I chose to make this feel like a small commitment, not another freebie that will stay untouched somewhere on your computer. I'll add that a lot of things conspired to have me get to creating this guide. Curious? [Read or listen to the story behind Your Story, Your Map](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/@/page/oC33z8hQhx4B1izE) → Reflect on where you've been to inform where you're going, without needing a clear destination yet, even if you're not sure what you're looking for. [Get the guide ](https://letrente.kit.com/products/your-story-your-map?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### WORKSHOP URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/workshop-soy/ Last updated: 2026-08-18T16:31:37.000Z *"Stories are a communal currency of humanity."* *\- Tahir Shah, in Arabian Nights* Most people think they need better words. Or learn to put those words together in a more eloquent, memorable, resonant way. What they generally need is better material. When we're asked to talk about ourselves, who we are and what we do, we tend to reach for what's easiest to access: our roles, titles, achievements, and credentials. The stuff that goes on business cards, LinkedIn profiles, email signatures, or your website bio. Useful, certainly. But rarely meaningful. Or rather not very revealing. The experiences that shaped us, the values we stand for, the moments that explain why we see the world the way we do often lie much deeper. Many don't arrive neatly packaged in words. They exist as memories, feelings, fragments, intuitions, somewhere inside us. And because they're less accessible, harder to translate, they rarely make it into the conversation. Or the website. Or the bio. Or the introduction. You get the idea. ## Flat as opposed to what? Not long ago, I heard the expression: *"Your presentation fell flat."* And I found myself wondering: **Flat as opposed to what?** An image appeared in my mind. A cardboard moving box. The kind you buy when you're packing up your life and moving from one place to another. There is the flat-pack version. And there is the assembled, 3D version. ![An illustration to explain how hard it is to share the complexity of our inner life, with two drawings of a little figure, with a big expanded colourful box on one side, and a tiny little expression on the right.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/06/image0-forstory-of-you.jpg) Illustration by @worry\_lines on Instagram via Sublime App Ah.There it is. The analogy I'd been looking for. **Most of us hand over the flat-pack.** **It's what we have readily available. The summary.** **We are have this multi-dimensional existence inside us and we hand out the flattened version.** Then we wonder why people don't quite "get" us. Fair enough. But what are we hoping for? That people will somehow unfold the flat pack that we reveal the full shape of us? With what instructions? Without access to the experiences, values, and stories that shaped us? ## What Story of You is really about This two-hour workshop was designed to frame the context of how stories and storytelling make up the stuff that expresses us outwardly. And with a guided visualisation, I'll invite you to uncover meaningful story-moments from your life and work, explore the values hidden inside them, and understand why those moments create connection in ways facts rarely do. You won't leave with a polished pitch or a finished narrative but with something more valuable: A clearer sense of what matters to you. At least one meaningful story, or proof point, that you can continue developing. A deeper understanding of the importance in the values that shape your choices. And a new understanding of where authentic self-expression begins. As I've learned, the goal is not to perfectly translate the complexity of a human life into a few words. That's impossible. Tough luck, right? Instead the goal is to learn to go within, gather the pieces, uncover their meaning, and beginning to craft a new kind of expression. Neither 3D, nor flat-pack, a unique form, a work in progress, something that represents more of who we are. ## What happens in the room Over two hours, I'll guide you through a series of teaching, reflections, visualisations, writing exercises, and paired conversations. Together we'll explore: - How stories shape identity, perception, and meaning - Multiple pathways into your values - How to access meaningful story-moments from your own experience - Why some stories create resonance and others don't - What becomes possible when we communicate from meaning rather than summary The workshop is intentionally interactive. Because some things become visible only in relationship. Many participants are surprised by what they discover when someone else listens carefully to a story they've never thought much about. ## What you'll leave with After two hours, you'll have: - A clearer understanding of the stories already shaping your life - Greater access to meaningful experiences you may have overlooked - A deeper understanding of your values - Several story-moments you can continue exploring - A framework for finding more of them One participant put it beautifully: > "I feel like I could write all night." Not because she'd finished the work. Because she'd discovered where the material lives. ## This workshop is for you if - You can feel the gap between who you are and how you come across. - You struggle to talk about yourself without sounding generic, rehearsed, or incomplete. - You have multiple interests, experiences, or identities and don't know how they fit together. - You're navigating change and looking for a stronger sense of continuity. - You know there's more depth to you than what currently comes across. - You're curious about the stories and values that have shaped your life. ## It is probably not for you if You're looking for a formula, want someone to write your story for you, or are unwilling to explore the experiences that shaped you. ## Curious about the flat-pack metaphor? [Read or listen to the essay →](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/from-flat-pack-to-3d-self/) ## Register for interest This workshop runs live on Zoom several times a year, with participants joining from around the world. Leave your details below and you'll be the first to hear when the next session is scheduled. Subscribe **Previously delivered for:** Career Women's Forum Geneva • The Marketing MeetUp • Soho House Berlin **What past participants say:** > ​*"It was insightful to see that our real values are not necessarily at the surface. We need to go deep down inside of ourselves to see them."* > ​*"Anne has the unique ability to act like a human mirror. She comprehends the essence of a person and reflects it back in a way that allows one to see it clearly."* ★★★★★ — a perfect score from every participant who rated it. ### FAQ's The Story of You Fundamentals Workshop is delivered online via Zoom unless otherwise specified. It's meant to be experienced live, so it's recommended to register only if you think you can make the live session. An online course and a live cohort to support the exploration of Story of You will soon be on offer. For further details including, head over to Le Trente's Luma calendar where you'll also find further opportunities for group work on Story of You, The Intention Hour, mindfulness and much more. [Learn more ](https://luma.com/letrente?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- Discover the Story of You Methodology [here](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/story-of-you/). ### BRAND WORK URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/brand-work-that-feels-like-therapy-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T14:59:21.000Z ## That feels like therapy Two weeks ago, while recording an episode of my podcast The Mettā Interview, my guest — also a consulting client of mine — said something that made me beam. "I could talk for another two hours and yeah, \[...\] you are a great coach. It's therapy. *It's therapy."* She'd already said those words to me once before, back in October. It was after our first foundations session. She and her co-founder sat with me for two hours while I unfurled my many questions to help expose and clarify their business objectives. That first time, I remember the inner "woo hoo" feeling. I smiled, and it felt like it came from the inside out. “Yes. This is good work. This is what I love doing.” I thought to myself. Hearing the same person repeat these words, months later, this time during a podcast recording where we were *both* beaming at each other, that hit differently. **I've been thinking about how to describe what I do. Because 'consultant' and 'coach' don't quite capture it. But maybe these moments do.** A few days later, I interviewed Giulia Galli, a parental and fitness coach who, like me, spent 20 years in luxury fashion communications. At the end of our conversation, she said: > > "Your questions, your presence, your rhythm, and the space that you've allowed me have unlocked so much more than what I had. The conversations I had with you, even this one, especially this one, have added so many pieces. So thank you very much for this." This felt even more special. Tender, even. To hear these words from Giulia, an accomplished NLP practitioner, a former communications director, this was more than validating. **It also gave me something I can offer you: insights into my energy, how it *feels* to work with me, something we all struggle to articulate about ourselves.** **These kind people's words offer an interpretation beyond what my writing can give you. And it's especially hard to 'get' what the benefits are of working with someone you don't know well. Words like 'communication expert' and 'consultant' are just vessels. They don't tell you who I am to you.** And the words communication, expert, coach, and consultant are just vessels for someone’s capacities and energy. I’m not a McKinsey type, that’s for sure. But if I’m not that, then who am I to you? Fashion designer Bella Freud (great-granddaughter of Sigmund, the daughter of painter Lucian), host of the popular Fashion Neurosis podcast where she puts famous people on a sofa for psychoanalysis-style conversations (recent guests include Esther Perel and my ex-boss Christian Louboutin)[ wrote in The Sunday Times Style magazine](https://www.thetimes.com/travel/destinations/europe-travel/france/paris/the-law-of-attraction-k392sgmpmkj?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) about visiting me at the Louboutin office in 2011: > > "As she talked, her brilliance and resourcefulness sparkled around her, like the aura that surrounds Tinker Bell in the Peter Pan film. I found myself thinking, 'Who needs Gisele, when you could marry a woman like this?' Someone so clever and constructive that you could bask in the contentment of their competence." **Bella’s words are interesting because they speak to something that I wouldn’t quite know how to qualify. My energy. My resourcefulness.** The fact these words appeared in print (and are still on the Times website) is helpful. As if they were indelible. **I smile when I consider how the great-granddaughter of the founder of psycho-analysis speaks of my energy as magical, while my clients tell me my work feels like therapy. Isn’t that something?** That’s why people don’t just come to me for strategy. They come for the space I hold and for how I help them see themselves. For my intellectual curiosity, my resourcefulness and understanding of what's shaping the zeitgeist. For my moral and ethical core, shaped by years of study in yoga, mindfulness, and Buddhist practices. Maybe they stay for all of the above, and also because “holding space” is just code for the psychological safety they find with me, which is what allows them to dig deep and bring out what matters most. I dropped out of university because I didn’t get what my studies would do for my future. And I found that I love working. I like seeing results. That’s why sales and PR were so satisfying. You know how well you’re doing; it’s measurable, and you don’t even need clever marketing reports to tell you how well you’ve done. The work I do now is just as satisfying. I'm still driven by the desire to be effective for my clients, to make magic happen, as I used to say. It may not take the shape they think it will, but it's always rewarding. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### PRACTICE URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/practice/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T14:57:56.000Z *Before we begin, we begin again* ## How about tapping into this often overlooked superpower? **You know the challenge:** Every month offers us an invitation to pause. Not to become more productive. Not to set bigger goals. But to remember what we're actually trying to move towards. Life has a way of carrying us along. Projects multiply. Conversations pile up. The urgent quietly replaces the important. Before long, we're moving... but we're no longer sure we're moving in a direction that feels like our own. The Intention Hour is a monthly contemplative practice designed to help you reconnect with what matters before the next month begins. Together, we'll explore not just what you want to do, but why it matters, who you're becoming through it, and the deeper intention quietly shaping your choices. **Am I even moving the needle? And if so, is it even the *right* needle?** This monthly gathering, the Intention Hour, is designed to offer a deliberate online space to help all of us connect with the deeper currents of intention beneath our daily actions. Let me ask you: *Is there a project you are developing, one that you'd love to deliver with both heart and impact?* *Is there a conversation that you're dreading but that is important to have?* *Is there a way you are not showing up in your life and you'd like to find an effective method to help you connect to your deep intention and follow through?* **The Intention Hour, and the practice I've designed, offers just that: a framework for excavating what truly matters, moving beyond surface goals to uncover the authentic intentions that can guide your choices, becoming not just a compass of the heart, but a tool for getting us out of stagnation.** ## What we'll explore Drawing from a contemplative framework that bridges personal reflection and strategic clarity, this monthly session invites you to inquire into something that you want to achieve, as well as *why* it matters and *who* you're becoming in the process. Whether you're launching a project, navigating a transition, or simply wanting to live and work more intentionally, this practice offers both inner compass and outer direction. It’s simple, juicy, practical — and no one can tap into this better than you can. Because after all, it’s your intention that will guide you. ## Our Monthly Flow (60 minutes) 5 minutes: Welcome and settling in 10 minutes: Guided meditation to centre and clarify 30 minutes: Contemplative journaling with guided prompts 15 minutes: Group sharing and integration (plus check-in from previous month's intention) ## The framework This isn't goal-setting — think of it as intention archaeology. We'll dive together, dig through our multiple levels of intention, from the practical to the profound. Inspired by Buddhist wisdom, this group practice invites us to bring our attention to intention. As Tara Brach offers: "The more your intention is deep and awake, for example for kindness or presence, the more your attention is actually full.” It works in the reverse just as well: the more we are awake to our deep intention, the more we are in touch with what matters. **Investment** Recommended contribution: 25 CHF | 35 CHF | 45 CHF *Choose what feels sustainable and allows you to show up fully* **When:** Last week of each month (setting intentions before the new month begins) ### **About your guide** Anne developed this framework while supporting a corporate client through a major anniversary planning process, discovering that the most meaningful projects emerge when we examine not just outcomes, but the deeper intentions beneath them. Having guided both executives and entrepreneurs through strategic visioning, she brings practical wisdom to the contemplative work of intentional living. She continues to use this powerful methodology on her own projects. Live it to give it as they say. --- The Intention Hour is co-hosted with Le Trente, the social learning studio founded by Anne Mühlethaler. You'll find details and registration via their [Luma Calendar](https://luma.com/letrente?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). Watch January's recorded session on Le Trente's website via the link below. [Watch & practice ](https://letrente.com/avm-events/the-intention-hour?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ### SUBSCRIBE URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/the-metta-view/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T11:08:57.000Z ### A weekly long-form newsletter and audio experience, and the place where I go to make sense of the world, and to explore it through other people's eyes. *The Mettā View is my longstanding newsletter, where I think out loud, and in public, about story, identity, the inner life of doing meaningful work, weaving together the threads that connect who we are to how we communicate, and make it resonate.* *I write for people who are deeply curious about the world, who aren't content with the status quo, who want to do good and believe that depth of meaning and genuine connection are possible (and desirable) at work, and in life. People who want to make a difference, whatever their means.* *You'll often find me exploring the strategy that underpins how we show up, communicate, and connect, to create impact and resonance with the people we care about. All of it through what I call a mindful lens, meaning with empathy, benevolence, a caring attention, itself delicate space to hold nowadays.* *And yes, it may be for you even if mindfulness isn't a word you'd normally use to describe yourself.* Each edition weaves together *original* essays, curated ideas from varied sources whose perspective has nourished or surprised me, *guided meditations*, and spoken-word reflections. Sundays, mostly. It arrives, and you open it when you're ready. It's also where I share everything about Story of You, a methodology I've developed which intersects with brand and communication strategy, self-expression, values work, mindfulness and storytelling. This sits alongside news about upcoming gatherings (online and in person), masterclasses, and conversations across Le Trente and Out of the Clouds. **Think of the Mettā View as a grand facade with varied windows, doors, and balconies even. My essays are one way in. The curated digest is another. The interviews, the meditations, the conversations, each one a different opening.** **With each, I bring a particular point of view. You get to peer into each of these, see if you want to explore any of these perspectives further. The only way to know if it's for you is to sign up.** The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe --- *Not sure yet? Start here:* [**Eat Your Greens — In Defence of Thinking →**](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/eat-your-greens/) Essays from The Mettā View also appear in the Writing section of this site, alongside pieces written for Out of the Clouds and other contexts — organised by theme rather than origin, so you can follow a thread of thinking wherever it leads. The full publication and complete archive live at [themettaview.com.](https://letrente.com/metta-view?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ### What it's like to work with me URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/how-i-work/ Last updated: 2026-09-07T13:36:25.000Z ## **I start with leaving my expertise at the door** ## Before we meet If you're wondering what it's actually like to work with me, this is a good place to begin. In this short video, I'll walk you through what happens on a discovery call, what I listen for, and how we'll decide together whether working together feels like the right next step. ## As for what it's like to work with me... **One of the first things I learned when I started training as a coach is that we coach the client and not the problem.** I know this may shock you, but essentially I don't need to work in your industry in order to coach you. We don't need to be the same age. I don't need to understand everything about your background. I don’t need context on the problem you’ll bring me on day one. What I need, and what I bring, is the quality of my attention. My training gives me instinct, structure, and tools. And I resource myself before I show up for you. **I leave my expertise, and I bring my full self. My goal is to be as present as possible.** To notice what comes up in me as a reaction to what you're going to be saying. I follow my instinct and my training hand in hand. Notice that training and expertise are not the same things. The goal is to ask you the next best question. Notice when something feels wrong, note it. Ask you to inform or confirm whether I'm making a mistake in the distinctions I'm making. Suggest tools as I notice your energy shift with the questions. Occasionally push back when I find something feels off. I will meet you with this deep attention, without my industry know-how. So don't expect a lecture. If you want to hear me talk, come to my salons, sign up to one of my workshops — there you'll hear me talk a lot. And I'll give you a lot of resources. I am full of resources. I love them. That's why I'm still a brand consultant. But that's not what coaching is. In the coaching room, you will mostly hear yourself. That’s where the magic is. ## **What presence means** Presence means attention. And the quality of my attention is defined by multi-layered listening. I will be listening with my eyes as much as with my ears and to an extent, with my full body. I'll be watching where you lay your gaze, your capacity or inability to concentrate, your willingness or unwillingness to answer certain questions. That’s one of the reasons I record our sessions, so that I don’t need to take too many notes (though I like to jot things down on paper), so I can keep track of what your body will tell me. I invite a lot of eyes-closed moments, not meditations. With these, I’ll follow along in my imagination. And then there’s this, which is harder to explain: I listen to the images that come up in my mind. I will voice them when appropriate. That's the most instinctual part of the process, as it's non-verbal as it comes up inside of me. It is not analysis. It is not projection. It is a form of attunement, a somatic empathy that, in my experience, shows up even across a screen. Lastly, note that I am not watching you to catch you out. I am watching because this is what full presence looks like. And full attuned presence is the very thing I have to offer that a book, a course, or a framework cannot. ## **How each session is held — the TOSS method** Every session begins with what is called the TOSS method. You choose the Topic. We name the Objective together. You tell me the Significance of working on this today — why this, why now. And we explore what Success would feel like for you by the end of our session. That becomes our contract for the session. At the end, we return to it: did we get there? If the session took us somewhere unexpected, and sometimes it should, we name that too. I will check in mid-session if I notice we have moved away from where we started: it feels like we've shifted direction. What feels most alive for you right now? Do we follow this or go back? Either is fine. But we choose consciously, and we note what it means for what we set out to do. This is how every session can feel complete in itself. not a fragment of something larger, but a whole thing, measured against your own definition of progress. ## **What I will and won't do: a partnership** We will be partners. I will let you know what tools I have available. You'll then tell me what you think you want to try. I will not be imposing anything on you. Depending on what the objectives are, and if we agree that some sit outside of the coaching sphere, specifically more on the branding and communications work, then I will tell you: hey, this is evoking something for me. Would you like me to share my point of view or some resources? And you'll get to choose whether you want to access this other sphere of my work. I never front-load resources and consulting advice in a session. *The role of the coach is not to be the light, but to be the mirror* (a phrase I credit Martha Beck with, the coach who I trained with). I don't want you to look at *me*. I want you to be able to access *yourself*, your knowledge, your wisdom, your felt sense. My goal is to help all of the goodness that you need emerge from within you. My belief is that we all have everything we need within us. But most of us (myself included) need someone. A conduit. A supporter. Someone who holds space. Even in the simple fact that most of us will not take an hour to sit down and work on a problem in our lives. That's one of the reasons why you're paying for coaching: to make time and to show up for that thing that you want. Yes, you are also paying for the structure, the person who is fully there, with tools. And one of the most magic moments of a coaching session is when I mirror back what I heard you tell me. You'll hear your words, from outside of you. That perspective is often a game changer and one of the magic moments of the coaching process. ## **On pushing back, and when I will** I will occasionally push back, but only when something feels off. Not as a technique. Not because I think I know better. But because I am following my intuition, and ignoring it would be a failure of presence. Also because I know what it feels like when something’s off inside of me. It might be a word you keep using that doesn't quite match your energy. It might be a pattern I notice in how you are circling the same place but without getting into the thick of it. When that happens, I will do my best to name what I’m sensing. I’ll venture out with this and you’ll tell me if there’s indeed something underneath that needs our attention. My stance is one of kindness and empathy, so the point is to help surface what needs to come up, despite the potential discomfort. But only with your approval. ## **What I can and cannot promise** **As a coach, I can't make many promises.** **I can't promise you that you're going to get to where you want to be.** Because I can't guess what state you'll be in, how much work you're going to want to put in, and what's gonna be happening around your life. And the reason why I can say this is, I’ve done it myself. The coaching one on one, the certifications, several long courses, year-long ones, where I met with the same peers every week. And in many of the better courses, you know, they sit you down, you start with clarifying your objectives, you maybe announce a project that you'll deliver by the end. But very often, six months in, you realise that the plans have derailed, because as Anne Lamott likes to call it, you just slipped on a cosmic banana peel. Real big things we cannot predict may happen. I’ll repeat it. The tough thing about coaching is, I can't promise you that you're going to find yourself exactly where you want to be. I don’t know what will happen in your life. **What I can promise you is that if you show up to every session with an open mind, with a willingness to listen to yourself, to trust the process, good things will happen.** What I can promise you is that I’ll be a steady partner to help you work through whatever arises. What I can promise you is that openness, commitment, a kind and compassionate stance toward yourself, even when things are not easy, are the traits that will smooth the path for you. And it may not get you where you thought you needed to be, but you'll get to where you are ready to get to. ## **A word about my blind spots** Like you and everyone else on this planet, I will have some blind spots. There will be moments where your cultural context, your lived experience, or specific life circumstances are not going to register with me because of who I am and my own life experiences. I will let you know when I notice that there is something I'm missing. This is where the term partnership becomes so important. *I will need you to tell me if/when you notice something first.* That’s not a failure of the coaching process, it’s the coaching relationship working as it should, with both of us accountable to the experience of what happens between us. And if the gap feels too wide, if what you need is someone who has lived your specific experience, I will tell you honestly. And if need be, I’ll be happy to assist you in finding the right person. ## **Who I am for — and who I am not** **I am not for everyone. But the people I am for — I am *really* for them.** Much of our lives, we think we make rational decisions, from that gorgeous pre-frontal cortex brain of ours. But the reality, which science has clearly demonstrated, is that we make decisions based on a feeling. If you’ve read all the way down to this section, I’d wager you are feeling your way toward a decision to work with me. If you feel I am the right coach for you, the likelihood is that I am. I’m not here to support just anybody. **If you feel like you want to make meaning from your experience, connect the dots of the path, find a clearer story, and a connection to your unique voice, I’m likely the coach for you.** **If you are interested in contemplative practices, in accessing your inner wisdom, in learning to deepen your trust in yourself. Yes, it’s likely we’ll be a right fit.** **If you feel like there is a greater calling bubbling beneath the surface, whether it’s clear or not, spoken or unspoken, and you’d like a partner to help you bring it to the surface, again, we’re probably a match.** It’s funny, this coaching thing. The first time I came across something similar was when I was reading about Socrates and his disciples. I was 16\. He was said to help birth the wisdom inside them. **I remember an image coming up in my mind, simple, a fire pit, an old man with a beard, a few people sitting on the ground. White togas. Huh. Sounds interesting.** I’ve heard one of my teacher’s say that the Buddha was the original coach. I'd debate this, they were near contemporaries born on opposite sides of the world within a generation of each other. But if we're talking about the method of drawing wisdom out through questioning, Socrates has a particular claim. And as someone who is actively studying philosophy and the dharma on the side of her coaching practice, I’d say I humbly follow in their footsteps. **You’ve got everything inside of you. I’m just there to help you access the gold within.** ### Features & Press URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/features-press/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T14:37:31.000Z FEB 2026 - I had the pleasure to jump on this feature opportunity to tell people about what not to do in this article rounding up [**25 Feedback Mistakes That Taught Valuable Communication Lessons.**](https://bestofhr.com/25-feedback-mistakes-that-taught-valuable-communication-lessons/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **My take away?** The geometry of a room shapes whether anyone can hear you. If you want feedback to land, the setup has to feel balanced, definitely not like a tribunal. --- SEPT 2025 - I had the huge pleasure of being invited to talk with [@rebeccadanielcoaching](https://www.instagram.com/rebeccadanielcoaching/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) and [@coachingsarahbramall](https://www.instagram.com/coachingsarahbramall/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) , Senior Prac EMCC of [@thecoachingcatalysts\_](https://www.instagram.com/thecoachingcatalysts%5F/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) on their podcast — what a treat it was to chat to these two wonderful coaches and genuinely amazing women. Like all good things, I stumbled upon their work by surprise (or let’s say serendipity) while running errands 18 months ago during International Coaching Week. They were offering a series of free online webinars, over the course of which they pitched a six-month supervision program for coaches. You know when something feels so right you need to sign up ASAP? So there I was, wedged on a small seat in a tram in the middle of Geneva, signing up to work with them and their amazing coaches Lizzie [@worklifemother](https://www.instagram.com/worklifemother/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) and Nicola [@nicolaraewickham](https://www.instagram.com/nicolaraewickham/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). Later, I also signed up to work with them on my ICF coaching credentials, which is what we talk about in this interview. So imagine my delight at being invited to speak with them about it all on their fantastic podcast. Lucky me. If any of you are a coach thinking about either supervision or becoming an ACC or PCC coach, don’t look any further than this amazing group of brilliant people. And please, go listen to our conversation—like, subscribe, comment, share: all the things! LISTEN ON [APPLE PODCASTS](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-coaching-catalysts/id1737793750?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) OR ON [SPOTIFY](https://open.spotify.com/show/1RC8N9TfXTJ86tFFW3Ezc1?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- FEB 2025 - I was featured in Sublime App's ["How I Sublime"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6Kl8fEXyAk&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) video series, where I spoke with host Alex Dobrenko about how this personal knowledge management tool has transformed my creative process. I shared how Sublime helps me surface insights from Kindle highlights and curate ideas for clients through intuitive discovery rather than rigid search parameters. --- JAN 2025 - I was recently interviewed on the [Awfully Quiet Podcast,](https://open.spotify.com/episode/4CYVsAHAVES3SlKuiUpwZL?si=KDwpF3BdRb-wFIbMGfeXRw&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) and thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with host Hanna Sǒsǎ. Over the course of our chat, I give her an overview of my unlikely career path, how my second job (and first meaningful bosses, Sue and Nicole) paved the foundations of my work ethic. For years I didn't understand my own introversion, due to my enthusiastic and passionate nature, and why deep listening is an edge that all introverts can turn into their superpower. I hope you enjoy! [LISTEN HERE](https://open.spotify.com/episode/4CYVsAHAVES3SlKuiUpwZL?si=KDwpF3BdRb-wFIbMGfeXRw&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- DEC 2024 - I write a newsletter but must admit I don't read many newsletter nowadays. Also I wish Substack would stop emailing me and sending me notifications. But I digress. There are some standout curators and writers out there and Kai Brach is one of them. His newsletter, Dense Discovery, also known as DD, is a staple in my inbox. I was incredibly grateful when he gave me the opportunity to share my 'Worthy Five' in DD #318\. Read the full issue in the archive [here](https://www.densediscovery.com/issues/318?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). --- SEPT 2015 - As someone in communication, it was frustrating that for years, people misunderstood my role - they thought I worked in digital marketing, ugh. It's in part due to this article, which followed my speaking at the WWD Digital Summit. I'm grateful for the opportunity and the write up, and hoping that by now, everyone's clear on my capacities. Re-reading the intro, I'm reminded that I was right then (authenticity is still key) and amused about how small Louboutin was back then, already 10 years ago. Read the full article [here](https://wwd.com/feature/christian-louboutin-instagram-social-media-facebook-10237154/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). --- JULY 2021 - Synchronicity put me in touch with the brilliant Dr Andrea Wojnicki who interviewed me twice for her podcast, Talk About Talk. This first episode we explore mindfulness in our communication (and yes, also in brand communication). LISTEN [HERE](https://www.talkabouttalk.com/74-mindfulness-with-anne-muhlethaler/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) I speak with Andrea again in May 2022 this time about personal style and how this communicates your personal brand. LISTEN [HERE](https://www.talkabouttalk.com/97-personal-style-personal-brand/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Home-Feature URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/home-feature/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T15:46:54.000Z I help people remove the filters that stop them seeing themselves and their work clearly. Clarity of value precedes expression of value. My clients leave saying it felt like magic, or like therapy. [What it's like to work with me →](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/how-i-work/) For thoughtful, intellectually curious people navigating reinvention, visibility, and self-expression. Based in Geneva, working with clients worldwide via Zoom, in English and French. ### Story is the Strategy URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/story-is-the-strategy/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T11:01:50.000Z [story-is-the-strategystory-is-the-strategy.ics1006 Bytesdownload-circle](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/content/files/2026/05/story-is-the-strategy.ics "Download") ### Orient URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/orient/ Last updated: 2026-08-12T10:15:32.000Z ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/05/meric-tuna-a8BYzjkkH4w-unsplash.jpg) Woman leaning down in front of seascape - Image via Unsplash ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/05/the-new-york-public-library-XRul91Dre1Y-unsplash.jpg) Image via New York Library on Unsplash ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/05/bruno-van-der-kraan-tbhIkbZxH-o-unsplash.jpg) A hand in a ray of sun with blurred trees in the background - image via Unsplash ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/05/max-fuchs-Nm6ojlDO-5c-unsplash.jpg) A gradient blurry image via unsplash ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/05/luke-miller-j6HON0fPs7o-unsplash.jpg) A storm lamp set on the sand on a beach at dusk via Unsplash ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/05/meric-tuna-a8BYzjkkH4w-unsplash-1.jpg) ### Story is The Strategy : You're In URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/story-is-the-strategy-confirmation-message/ Last updated: 2026-07-16T14:30:16.000Z ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/05/Story-of-You-Luma-Card-square.png) Story of You image - with Anne V Mühlethaler in collaboration with Le Trente ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/06/ANNE-GUEST-WORKSHOP-story-of-you.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/06/anne-v-muhlethaler-story-is-strategy-note-confirmation.png) ### Orient - You're In - Confirmation Page URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/orient-youre-in/ Last updated: 2026-07-16T14:29:33.000Z ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/06/hey-you-.png) ## Posts ### When the story you tell yourself becomes the view URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/when-the-story-you-tell-yourself-becomes-the-view/ Last updated: 2026-09-01T16:00:01.000Z ### Stories are the content. We are the context. Audio of the essay 'The story is already there' 0:00 /502.393416 1× Most of us carry two stories at once. The one we tell ourselves about who we are, and the one we actually live, fluently, in the everyday moments where no one is watching. I had a coaching client, Matthew, who told me he was bad at talking about himself. He had been struggling in interviews, unable to articulate his skills. He believed the story: *I don't know how to do this.* And yet, when I asked him what he loved doing, what he was good at in his everyday life, he became someone else entirely. He talked about his home, his garden, the way he brings light and atmosphere to everything he touches. He has an extraordinary sense of aesthetics, an exacting attentiveness to how things look and feel. Every sentence he offered could have been lifted directly into a professional context. We worked on this several times, but for weeks, he simply could not see it. In ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, there is a term for this: cognitive fusion. It describes what can happen when we become so merged with a thought or story that we struggle to see it as a story. We are inside it, looking out, and the view in front of our eyes is entirely shaped by the thought. In his case, the thought, 'I am bad at this.' To better understand this, think of the expression 'He can't see the wood for the trees.' It's exactly that. Matthew wasn't pretending. He believed the story. Yet he came to me for help. **There's a contradiction here, and also hope.** The story *I am bad at this* had collapsed the distance between what he believed and what was actually true. No amount of positive thinking or arguing would have made him feel any different. What could help was changing where he was looking from, trying on a new perspective. **The kind that comes from learning to be the context rather than the content. Again, wood, trees: taking a step back, noticing what it reveals.** This is what mindfulness practice helps us develop over time: the capacity to observe your thoughts and stories rather than simply inhabit them. (Mindfulness processes are central to ACT) **In secular Buddhist classrooms, this is sometimes called the witness. In yoga, many teachers of mine used the word observer** instead (one of whom likens meditation to bird watching, which really stuck for me). In Internal Family Systems (or IFS, another form of therapy based on 'parts'), there is the idea of Self-access: the capacity to notice a part of ourselves without becoming completely blended with it**.** **In real life that means: we are not the voice in our head. We are not the inner critic (or the inner cheerleader for that matter).** **We are not the stories we hear. We are the awareness that holds it all.** And in this field of awareness, thoughts, stories, beliefs, will move like clouds (or storms). And with mindfulness, we learn to notice what moves through us without saying: I am the cloud, I am the storm. **Instead, we observe: Ah, that's right, there are clouds coming through.** Notice the difference. When people approach me to work on communication, they are very often fused, just like Matthew was. They'll say 'I'm bad at this, I talk too much. Or 'I ramble, I don't make sense, I am not eloquent.' In my experience, most people are much better than they think they are, but they show up blended, believing the story they bring to me, and in so doing, they are placing an extra obstacle in their own path. The fact that they show up to a masterclass, a workshop or a coaching session is already in itself a sign that they believe they can get better. My role is to help them see themselves clearly, help them notice the thought, and concentrate on the real work of finding the stories that reveal who they are. **We are the awareness. We are the field.** **Stories are the content. We are the context.** A TOOL And here is where writing (or journaling) becomes a remarkable tool for shifting our viewpoint, something that thinking alone cannot do. **When a story lives inside your head, there is no separation (you are, after all, in your own head).** **But the moment you put the thoughts on the page, something structural happens.** **You are here. The story is *there*, not inside but in front of your eyes. This is an actual shift in perspective.** The page creates the distance that the mind struggles to generate on its own. You can read the story back, almost as if receiving a mirror, which is exactly what happened with Matthew, when I reflected his own words back to him. Journaling is that mirror, self-administered. **In my own work, I talk about self-access as our capacity to get underneath the immediate story, thought or reaction and access more of ourselves, to find meaning underneath the surface. Journaling to surface the meaning underneath the story is one of the ways we cultivate self-access.** I try not to preach mindfulness to my clients, yet I believe we all should practice it, because of how our minds work. And how easily we become fused with our thoughts. I'm obviously no exception. What we are cultivating, through all of these practices, is discernment. Not just awareness as such, but the capacity to evaluate. To ask: What is this thought? Does this story nourish me, or deplete me? Is it mine, or did I inherit it? Is it even true? Does it open something, or close it down? Discernment is the active form of self-knowledge. It implies choice. **You are not at the mercy of your story. You are in relationship with it.** Matthew already had everything he needed. So do you. --- *Hey friend,* *This is the work we explore in* [*​the Story of You workshop​*](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/workshop/)*. We will surface a moment from your life, and you won't know at first why it's that one. Then we dig in and find out what it holds, which is almost never what you expected. That's not a trick you use once. It's a method you can take back to any story you own, and most people are surprised how much they already have.* *It's live and participatory, which means you can't stay hidden behind a black square on Zoom. Fourteen seats, this Saturday.* [*​Click here for details and to book your seat. ​*](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/workshop/) *Thank you for reading me, as always. Until next time, Anne* *PS. This workshop offers flexible pricing, meaning that you can choose what feels right between CHF65 and CHF95\. I've chosen to set it up this way so that it's more accessible while still reflecting the cost of developing and hosting it. Click through to the checkout to see it in four major currencies.* ### No one can ever see a whole tree URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/no-one-can-ever-see-a-whole-tree/ Last updated: 2026-07-26T18:56:12.000Z ## We will never know another person fully. But perhaps we can feel for who they are. The Mettā View - No one can ever see a whole tree - Essay 0:00 /324.573786 1× > "If I want to see you, I want to see, at least a little bit, how you see the world. I want to see how you construct your reality, how you make meaning. I want to step, at least a bit, out of my point of view and into your point of view." > > — David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen No one can see a whole tree. Not at a single glance. Not even a bonsai tree. You could stand above one, and stare at its delicate canopy, yet only part of the trunk will be visible. Despite it being miniature and you towering over it, you’d be missing the roots, the underbelly. You’d think: ‘I got a pretty good view’, yet you’d never capture it whole. My favorite tree (yes, I have one) is a monumental cedar of Lebanon in the nearby Parc Beaulieu. It was gifted to the then landowner in 1765\. Imagine that. When I visit it, I let myself lean against its rough and scaly trunk (I ask permission first) and often tilt my head up to look through its branches. From that vantage point, one could think it reaches the sky. From my point of view, it absolutely does. **We can never see a whole tree but no one ever stops to think about it.** The fact is: our vision is determined by our position, our physiology, from our height to our eyesight and even, to the quality of our attention. Our outer vision is limited. I find this to be a very egalitarian constraint. **Everyone’s vision is different and equally somewhat limited.** Just as you never stop to think ‘I can’t ever see the whole of a tree’ you probably never reflect on how you can never see (or understand) the whole of another human being. Yet it’s true. From your inner (and outer) vantage point, your understanding of another is limited. **No one will ever *know* another being fully.** But there’s something else we can aim for, if not full vision, if not full understanding. **We will never *know*, but we can *feel* for who someone is.** … Now let’s turn this around. Everyone who meets you, reads you, listens to you, they are standing somewhere too. They catch one side of you, from wherever they happen to be planted. Their opinion, understanding, forms through their condition and unique perspective. They may think they see a lot, or only a little. What they see and understand may be only a sliver. You are a tree. What kind of tree you are, I don’t know. I like to think I’m a mangrove (I know, I’m Swiss, it’s metaphorical work). **You are a tree and none will ever see you fully. Know you fully. But you can learn to make us *feel* for who you are.** When you write, when you speak, bring us close to have us better understand what you’re made of. Tell me what the tree feels like. Describe the texture of the leaves, the pliability of the outer branches. The thick and rough external bark of the lower trunk and the way that your roots meander deep into the soil. You are the tree. Make us feel what you are made of. **Maybe you don’t see yourself as the tree.** **Maybe at this stage, you are the seed.** What’s in a seed? I don’t know. At the seed level, you may think there is less to show. And yet. Tell us about the ground that holds you, the shell that protects you, the life moving inside and the promise contained within you. Hidden underground though you are, have us discover the tree shape you are curled into. You are already whole. Just small. And in the dark. And reminder: the seed came from somewhere, it also has a story to tell. **You are the seed. You are the tree contained within the seed. Make us feel what you are made of.** *PS — And if you’re less metaphorically minded, but perhaps you once asked yourself why you don’t feel rooted, why you don’t feel so attached to the place you come from: some seeds are simply made to travel. Mangrove seeds can float for hundreds of miles at sea, sometimes for over a year, before they find the ground that’s right for them. Sometimes a seed needs to go far to find the right ground. I wrote about this (and about my own late rooting) in this personal essay* [*→ Root to Rise.*](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/root-to-rise/) ![Mangrove trees emerging from the see with a beautiful dusk sky behind and some lovely pink clouds](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/image-2.png) Mangrove trees - For image credits, head over to the full essay, [Root to Rise](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/root-to-rise/) ### Communication used to be a relationship URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/communication-used-to-be-a-relationship/ Last updated: 2026-07-21T17:55:59.000Z ## We have turned the search for work, or clients, or an audience, into a private performance of visibility. Communication used to be a relationship 0:00 /419.83254 1× Have you noticed how much everyone is producing right now? Some friends of mine reflected this back to me over brunch back in the Spring. 'You do so much,' is what they said. In my head, it wasn't *that* much. But in terms of output, I can't deny that some weeks, being on a roll, I was putting posts up in such a way that they, my engaged audience, would see a lot. The algorithms doing what they do, particularly on LinkedIn, will push the voice of people you engage with over and over again to the point that I dread opening the app on my iPad. I know that invariably, I will see the same contacts, the same friend's work. The algorithm has a way of shoving things in our faces without us asking, or just as bad, removing things from view, making the time spent on their feed excruciatingly boring. Or enraging. Or both. So… more posts. More content. More messages. More *presence*, whatever that means at this point. A machine-led system that decides who sees what, in ways that don't necessarily serve us. Or, let me correct, at least for me, no longer does. **And underneath the algorithm, a light panic about invisibility is bubbling. Because the answer to not being seen, we're told, is to produce more.** Not to produce means not to be seen. Not to be seen leads to irrelevance. If you seek to create connections online, this concerns you. I want to name something about the current moment, because I think it explains a feeling you may have without the words for it yet. **Communication used to be a relationship. It has been turned into production.** Here is the difference. When communication is a relationship, the question you ask before you write is: what wants to be said? Who am I speaking to? What do they need to hear (about me, about this)? When communication is production, the question becomes: what will get seen? How many likes am I going to get? How is this going to go viral? **We are no longer asking the first questions.** The attention economy has taught us to confuse output with impact, and AI only accelerates the confusion. If the point of communication is simply to feed the machines (and enrich the billionaires), we have already lost the human thread. Nowhere is this clearer than in the search for work right now. I say this not because I’m looking for work, but because I’m concerned about the future of work. I always have been. This has been a pillar of this newsletter right from the beginning because I care about what we express through what we do in life. Also, as an avid reader, the slew of articles I’ve pored over in the last six months alone depict a dire situation. You send out the CV, the pitch, the carefully crafted post, and what comes back is silence, or an automated rejection, when you are lucky. And the advice that follows? Produce more. Be sharper. Stand out. Optimise your voice for the algorithm. **We have turned the search for work, or clients, or an audience, into a private performance of visibility. The burden of being seen has been pushed entirely onto you, while the system itself becomes more silent, more opaque, more automated. We are effectively at the service of the machines. Already.** That is not communication. That is akin to shouting into a void that has been designed to say nothing back. The image that comes to my mind is [​Munch's The Scream​](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%5FScream?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com): the same distorted face, but held up to a phone. Screaming into the darkness of the screen. Reaching no one. LinkedIn jumps to mind as the current wasteland where good, quality posts go to die, just as the platform turns to influencers, a move that would have been unimaginable (at least to me) a couple of years ago. (If they're getting one thing right, it's the recognition that voice matters. Even the machine is tired of platitudes.) And here is what gets lost. **Writing and self-expression were never merely tools for visibility.** Done with feeling, they help us think, remember, and find meaning. **As I’ve written before, stories are how we learn how to navigate life.** That's how we help each other through the good and the bad and the murky. Done at surface level, this becomes performative output: we give our time, our energy, to platforms that concentrate our attention and capitalise it (a framing I owe to Josh Citarella), while it does very little for the person writing, and even less for the person stuck behind their screen, eyes glazed over, scrolling past. Because here is the truth about what we are actually after. **I often say this: What we always want is not to become a good communicator, but what's on the other side of good communication.** And what's on the other side is never the metric. We don't 'just' want a large following on LinkedIn. Or wherever. **We want people who care. People who'll repost, comment, come back, promote us to their friends. We want people who get us.** Empty followers mean nothing. I saw a post recently (the kind you have seen a hundred times) that did everything right. Names were tagged in a display of public gratitude after an event. The likes arrived. And comments. And yet there was no voice in it anywhere. No opinion. Nothing of what the writer saw, learned, or wondered, nothing another person could navigate by. The post worked as social currency. It did not work as thought. The feedback was positive. It was not meaningful. Those are not the same thing, and we have stopped noticing the difference. I get it, the pressure. The need to work against that risk of not being seen as engaging enough. So before your next post, your next pitch, your next carefully worded anything, one question is worth sitting with: Does this deepen human contact, or does it only help me survive the algorithm? I’ll make sure to keep asking myself that same question., because at the end of the day, we are in this together. Thanks as always for reading me, I never take your time (or attention) for granted. Until next time, be well. Anne --- ## DIVE DEEPER The New York Times covered LinkedIn’s recent influencer developments in this aptly titled: [​**Is LinkedIn Entering Its Post-Cringe Era?**​](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/04/business/linkedin-social-media-influencers.html?unlocked%5Farticle%5Fcode=1.zVA.HuCU.brAHLpRf5bTq&smid=url-share&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) For weeks I’ve been reading about recruitment troubles for young graduates or just younger generations. I’d been wondering when the forty-plus would start to talk about the ghosting and the hardships of finding work in the AI-HR era. This week’s explosive story comes from Stacey Duguid, a woman I once knew (and had a disagreement with, like 15 years ago, over a pair of shoes of all things) who hails from the same industry as me. Fashion. The picture is bleak. You can read her story [​**on the Times website**​](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/04/business/linkedin-social-media-influencers.html?unlocked%5Farticle%5Fcode=1.zVA.HuCU.brAHLpRf5bTq&smid=url-share&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), or watch ABC News covering the story for free [​**here**​](https://abcnews.com/video/134943925/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**.** The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Books have never been more fashionable, or less read URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/books-have-never-been-more-fashionable-or-less-read/ Last updated: 2026-07-15T13:07:34.000Z ## All the more reason to write. April Dávila's masterclass is today. I believe in reading. From a variety of sources. Fiction. Non-fiction. Memoir. Newspapers. Quality journalism. Occasionally poetry. In French, in English. The odd time in Italian. ​ In my family growing up, reading was sacred. My father's imposing vintage desk was designed with built-in bookshelves. I kept many of his books, though not all of them. ![Piles of of magazines and a couple of coffee table books with a wonderboom player and phone sat on top](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/07/Anne-Edits-21.jpg) Magazines. Books. Precious piles. My father read literature, mostly. My mother, general fiction, and she loved a thriller. There were always a handful of titles piled up on her nightstand. ​ My father's OBGYN practice subscribed to the weeklies: Newsweek, Time, Le Nouvel Observateur, and French Elle (then the brainiest and most feminist of the women's glossies). He brought them home after each new edition arrived. I couldn't tell you how old I was when I first started reading them. ​ Did my parents ever say out loud that people who read are people who form their own opinions? Hard to tell. The subtext existed in any case, on display in most rooms of the house. ​ (My younger brother, I should say, didn't take to the sacred books at all. He loved comics, and later found his way to science fiction, his kind of reading just wasn't on our shelves. A lesson in itself.) ​ ​**And here's the strange thing about this moment: books have never been more fashionable, or less read.**​ ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/07/Anne-Edits-61.jpg) More books, this time in my office From [Miu Miu's Literary Club](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubWl1bWl1LmNvbS9ldS9lbi9taXVtaXUtY2x1Yi9zcGVjaWFsLXByb2plY3RzL21pdS1taXUtbGl0ZXJhcnktY2x1Yi1taWxhbi0yMDI2Lmh0bWw=?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), to brands like [Balenciaga and Yahoo sponsoring Substack writers](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuY29tcGxleC5jb20vc3R5bGUvYS90cmV5YWxzdG9uL2JhbGVuY2lhZ2Etc3Vic3RhY2stc3BvbnNvcnNoaXAtZmFzaGlvbi1jcmVhdG9yLW5ld3NsZXR0ZXI=?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), to [Dua Lipa curating London's Literature Festival](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucnVzc2guY29tL2R1YS1saXBhLWxvbmRvbi1saXRlcmF0dXJlLWZlc3RpdmFsLWN1cmF0b3Iv?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) at the Southbank Centre this October (in the UK's National Year of Reading, no less), books are the trend. And yet, [according to The Atlantic, we are moving toward a postliterate society.](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlYXRsYW50aWMuY29tL21hZ2F6aW5lLzIwMjYvMDgvcmVhZGluZy1jcmlzaXMtcG9zdGxpdGVyYXRlLWFnZS82ODc2MTgv?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) I don't think the journalist who deep-dived to write that piece is wrong. ​ ​**But I'm worried about who we are going to be if we stop reading. And writing.**​ ​ Just as The Atlantic declares America postliterate, I released [a new episode of The Mettā Interview](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly9sZXRyZW50ZS5jb20vdGhlLW1ldHRhLWludGVydmlldy90aGUtbWV0dGEtaW50ZXJ2aWV3LWVwaXNvZGUtMTMtYXByaWwtZGF2aWxh?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) with novelist and writing coach [**April Dávila**](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGlua2VkaW4uY29tL2luL2FwcmlsZGF2aWxhLw==?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) , whose first non-fiction book,[**Sit Write Here**](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcHJpbGRhdmlsYS5jb20v?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**, 6 Mindfulness Practices to Write More and Suffer Less, is just out with St. Martin's Press.**​ ​ The big question she brought to our conversation: what is the value of narrative, of story, in our society? ​ Her answers are compelling. And yes, of course, worth a listen. ​**​** **Perhaps what surprises me most about where we are is not that writing is receding (our phones are TVs in our pockets, after all).** What worries me is that we don't seem to notice the importance of books, of narrative, in helping us make meaning of our lives, and in supporting each other through both the smooth and the rough waters. **Which is why today, of all days, I'm glad to be hosting novelist April Dávila at Le Trente.** ![The invitation to the masterclass Write More Suffer Less with April Davila, novelist and writing coach](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/07/Le_Trente_April_Davila_Masterclass_July_15_Square.png) Later today (5:45pm CEST / 11:45am ET / 8:45am PDT), she's teaching Write More, Suffer Less, live on Zoom: 75 minutes on using mindfulness to work with your mind instead of against it, so the words actually come. You don't need to call yourself a writer to join. If writing is how you connect with people (and for most of us, it is), this is for you. No meditation experience required. Pay what you can, from $1\. And if you can't make it live, register anyway: I'll share the recording the following day. Register [here](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly9sdW1hLmNvbS9ieTkyZ2hxdQ==?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). (The essay emanated from, Who Do We Become If We Don't Read (or Write)?, which lives [here](https://preview.kit-mail3.com/click/dpheh0hzhmh4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW5uZXZtdWhsZXRoYWxlci5jb20vd2hvLWRvLXdlLWJlY29tZS1pZi13ZS1kb250LXJlYWQtb3Itd3JpdGUv?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) in case you missed it.) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Who do we become if we don't read (or write)? URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/who-do-we-become-if-we-dont-read-or-write/ Last updated: 2026-07-20T14:15:49.000Z ## Also Author April Dávila on the Mettā Interview, plus this week's masterclass Who do we become if we dont read or write edited 0:00 /744.533287 1× Yesterday, this bombshell landed in my inbox. [​America, The Atlantic staff writer Rose Horowitch argues, is becoming “postliterate”​](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/08/reading-crisis-postliterate-age/687618/?utm%5Fmedium=cr&utm%5Fsource=email&utm%5Fcampaign=horowitch%5Faugust%5Fcover%5Fnote%5Fprospects%5Fstandard) (with a majority of adults no longer reading a single novel or short story in a year). **This led me to ask myself this question: who do we become if we don't read (or write)?** I’ve been a book lover and a story devourer since my childhood, a love that was given room to grow the day my parents allowed me to keep my lights on at night if it was because I was reading my beloved adventure books in bed. Later, an ex-boyfriend, in my twenties, told his new flame about me, and answering her question of ‘why her?’ (aka me) he answered: ’she‘s well read.’ Lastly, some of my favorite summer memories feature me in a bikini atop a sun lounger, in the back garden, an ice latte to my right, and a novel in hand. Little did I know that decades later I’d be writing an essay making the case about reading, and writing. **While America‘s book reading habits plummets, I can’t help but acknowledge that the majority of us are increasingly absorbed in reading across our screens, bombarded with written messages across platforms.** As I was contemplating this reality, a conversation with [​Dr Jonathan Kaplan on Out of the Clouds​](https://outoftheclouds.com/podcast/jonathan-kaplan-psychological-flexibility-living-from-values/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) bubbled up to the surface of my mind. Dr Kaplan, PhD. is a licensed clinical psychologist, author and teacher, an expert in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), an ACT therapist (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) who also works with the application of mindfulness and meditation in psychotherapy. While I was ready to feel very judgemental about all *these people* not reading (I’m assuming the trend is global, though the article focuses on the USA), I’m grateful that my associative mind brought me back to what he said that day. What he said befits this very topic, but from another perspective: ***“In cities, and particularly here in New York, you can’t open your eyes without seeing something that’s written. And it’s everywhere. Not just signs and street signs, but it’s on buses. It’s on the turnstile parts… they have advertisements there.*** *And if we contrast that, I would say going for a walk in the woods, there are no signs. There’s nothing in that environment typically demanding our attention…* *But here, everything is really trying to call attention to itself and they’re all in competition, right? And we are just walking around in this environment. What we try to do typically is to shut it out… I’m going to put on my sunglasses and I’m going to put in my headphones and I’m just going to overwhelm it with my own stimuli.”* Dr Kaplan came to this observation the hard way: after years of meditation practice (begun, remarkably, leading meditation groups in South Central LA) and a deep dive down what he calls his Buddhist rabbit hole, he moved from a very rural, quiet setting to the Big Apple, and found the contrast dysregulating. This change in living environment coupled with his meditation and clinical practice is likely what led him to see what most of us don’t: *“There’s an overwhelming amount of sensory stimuli in cities and we’re often prompted by the written word, which \[I think\] activates the verbal mind.”* No wonder then, when I’m overwhelmed, that I turn to household chores. It’s likely that we conflate emotional, intellectual and physical fatigue. Numerous times, I’ve surprised myself by switching to a manual task, without listening to a podcast or even music, and feeling my energy return in minutes, despite feeling a sense of deep exhaustion moments before. Now many of people don't read books apparently, but if you're reading me, with my love of long-form and my propensity toward storytelling, I'm thinking you do. **Either way, this week, I invite you to consider approaching a writing practice with my guest on the Mettā Interview, April Dávila, who is also offering her masterclass on Wednesday 15th.** **April is an award-winning novelist (her debut, 142 Ostriches, is a brilliant award-winning book) and a writing coach, and, like me, a certified mindfulness teacher.** We met five years ago, on Zoom, at our MMTCP graduation, in the middle of the pandemic, and we stayed in touch. **This week, her first non-fiction title,** [​**Sit Write Here (St. Martin’s Press**​](https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250425232/sitwritehere/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**), brings her two practices together: how meditation can take the struggle out of writing, quieting the inner critic long enough for the words to come.** Surprisingly, while our reading declines, books are exploding, not dying. I asked Claude AI to check for me, and this is what it told me: "Per Bowker (the ISBN registry, the most authoritative source): **4.2 million books were published in the US alone in 2025, fifteen times more than twenty years ago (282,500 in 2005).** Traditional publishing more than doubled in that time, to about 642,000 titles; the rest is the self-publishing flood, around 3.5 million — where fiction is the biggest genre, at roughly 477,000 titles, alongside a vast industry of journals, planners, puzzle and activity books. Going back your full fifty years, US output in the 1970s was in the tens of thousands of titles a year — so the arc is roughly a hundredfold increase in half a century." (1970s figure approximate) We could approach the figures above and conclude that writers are chasing disappearing readers. A tsumani of books released through self-publishing, including AI-generated titles released on Amazon by scammers hoping to catch a few misdirected dollars (check out this [​rip current warning from Brené Brown​](https://www.instagram.com/p/DaQ610ozdQU/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)) are crashing the market, that can't be good news, right? We could also posit that self-publishing is allowing too many vanity writers to put work out that is not good enough, that no one wants to read. Perhaps. I'd venture that most of the people self-publishing don’t know how to market their books. And that traditional media is shrinking. And what can it do against 4.2 million books a year? Oh, and there are the book bans. Any and all the above may put anyone, including you, off writing. Ever. **But on the other side, I think of what April shared in our conversation.** **She says: *“If you suspect you have a story in you, you probably do, and you should seriously think about writing it. I think all of our stories matter. My story won’t matter to everyone, your story won’t matter to everyone, but the people who connect with my story, they need to hear it.*** ***And the stories that I connect to that someone else wrote, I’m so grateful they wrote them. It’s not about needing to be the next best-selling author. The metrics don’t matter so much as the joy that can be found in telling your story and connecting with people who needed to hear it, for whatever reason.”*** **I agree with her. I think stories matter.** I am also reminded that history is made by those who tell the stories. Despite the AI tidal wave, I think it's good that so many people are putting their voices out there. And if you'd like to work on yours, this week is a good one to start. This week, you can meet April twice: in your headphones today, and live at Le Trente, via Zoom, on Wednesday. **Listen.** The Mettā Interview with April Dávila is out now. April is an award-winning novelist (142 Ostriches), a mindfulness teacher like me, and the author of the forthcoming Sit Write Here (St. Martin’s Press, 2026). We talk about writing, meditation, and why our stories matter to the people they’re for. We also explore her big question: What is the role of narrative story in our society? [​LISTEN​](https://pod.link/1836176615/episode/ZDEyN2I3YjItZGEyNi00NDE5LTlhN2EtZDI4MTcxYjViYjk2?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **Practice.** On Wednesday 15 July, April teaches Write More, Suffer Less, live at Le Trente (5:45pm CEST / 11:45am ET / 8:45am PDT). In 75 minutes, she’ll share how a meditation practice changed her writing life — and how it can change yours: learning to work with your mind instead of against it, so distraction and self-doubt dissolve and the words actually come. Less suffering, more flow, and a practice you can return to every time. No meditation experience required. Pay what you can, from $1, and the recording is yours either way. More details and registration [​HERE​](https://luma.com/by92ghqu?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). *I'll stress that this masterclass isn’t only for novelists. If writing is how you reach people, and most of us now reach people in writing, then this 75-min online session is for you too, whatever kind of writing you do.* **Sit.** On Thursday 16 July, join me for Mettā Together, a lunchtime guided meditation at 1pm CEST. And if the timing doesn’t suit, I’m back on Insight Timer [​on Sunday 19 July at 6pm CEST​](https://insig.ht/gYGGVdAfK4b?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) / 12pm ET / 9am PT. Register [​HERE​](https://luma.com/sc1uj46h?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) If you want to write alongside me, Story Alchemy is back next week Tuesday 21st. Details [​HERE​](https://luma.com/j8oik1wr?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) If you’ve ever suspected you have a story in you, and want to explore it, or deepen your access to it, join us. À bientôt, Anne P.S. Something for your own shelf: I’ve just finished author Jessica Ann's debut self-published character-driven fantasy, [​Woven in Time​](https://www.amazon.com/Woven-Time-Trilogy/dp/B0G311TCMM?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). The first in a trilogy, I cannot wait to get my hands on book two. Thanks to Charlie (who attended another writing masterclass in January) for the recommendation, Jessica Ann will be a guest on the Mettā Interview soon. Now for the head rather than the heart, Zach Mercurio’s [​The Power of Mattering​](https://www.zachmercurio.com/the-power-of-mattering/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), which I can’t recommend enough. I listened to it on Spotify, and had so many a-ha moments that I took too many screengrabs, so much so that I need to clear some time on my schedule to revisit the notes I was trying to make. This is a book that somehow delivered me to myself. Thanks to Mercurio's Mattering lens, I understand my actions and behaviors better. FYI the audio is good, though the editing felt a bit rushed for me. I'll get the printed copy for my notes. Lastly, and this is a great, great one: [​Body Work, the Radical Power of Personal Narrative, by Melissa Febos.​](https://www.melissafebos.com/body-work?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) There is much I love about this book, so expect to see quotes from it to surface regularly. Her work is on memoir, and she writes: *"Whereas writing was once an exercise in transcription, it has become an exercise in transformation. I urge you to hold your own life and work to this higher standard."* The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### The call is not a countdown URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/the-call-is-not-a-countdown/ Last updated: 2026-07-03T18:22:48.000Z ## A mid-year visualisation (five minutes, eyes closed) The call is not a countdown - essay & guided meditation 0:00 /944.48 1× The world feels hectic, worrying, and (here in Switzerland at least) really, really hot. It also happens to be the exact midpoint of the year. **And the more hectic things get out there, the more I find myself wanting to concentrate on the essential.** What do I mean by essential? Most of what fills our days is urgent: things that need doing, and they get done. But the essential stuff, the things that hold more weight, that matter more deeply? No alarm, no clear deadline. However important they may be, they get pushed to the side. **Now, I know it's July, and we're heading into the holidays. But I find it's surprisingly the perfect time to spend five minutes looking back, and forward, and asking: where am I, especially with the essential stuff?** I know that when time off is close, it can feel hard to get anything done. That pre-holiday overwhelm makes you want to throw in the towel and go 'ugh, it'll just have to wait until later.' If that's been your case, I understand. **But this message is specifically for you if you carry a project in your heart, or a desire for something you want to see develop.** It could be personal, it could be professional, it could be something that simply fulfils you. If so, I'd like to invite you to treat this midpoint as a moment of reflection. **The best place I know to look for that is inward.** So I'm inviting you on a short inner exploration, via the following guided visualisation. Think about it as a way to consider where you'd like to see yourself by the end of the year. ## Guided visualisation *Close your eyes for a moment, or just pause where you are (obviously, if you're in your car, listening to the audio, don't do that).* *I'd like you to think about the journey you're on. Not the to-do list, not the logistics of life. The meandering journey that you are on, more metaphorical, perhaps even spiritual.* *Turn your attention to the recent past, as if you could turn your head back, and look behind you. Where have you been over the last few months, the last year or two?* *What has the terrain felt like?* *You may even want to look down at your feet, and notice how your imagination is perfectly capable of showing you the landscape, the ground you're standing upon, the path or road that led you to this moment.* *Now turn to look forward. What does the way look like in front of you?* *Whether you're on a rocky mountain or a highway, get a feel for how things are looking ahead.* *Does it feel hazy, or clear, or is it hard to see in front? You don't need to have the right words, just let yourself discern how things are looking.* *Then think about what you're hoping to reach. Not an ultimate goal necessarily, perhaps you see the expanse of the road ahead, but you know what you're seeking to reach.* *Think about where you're hoping to get next.* *And whether or not you could see ahead, don't worry.* *For some of us it's not the visibility that's the problem, it's the movement. You can move steadily even in the fog.* *So now explore for sensations. Again think of the last few weeks or months. How has it felt?* *I'm thinking about us standing and walking (or running here) but maybe for you, your imagination may show you swimming. So don't worry about the details, just notice what comes up.* *Consider: has the movement felt easy, fluid, how has your energy been? Are you able to gain momentum, or has putting one foot in front of the other felt nearly impossible? Is it like moving through quicksand? Or pushing against the grain.* *So spend a minute there and see for yourself.* *How has it been? How are you 'moving', as in moving through the world? And thinking of that felt experience of how you are gaining ground, or not, advancing in the right direction. Or barely moving.* *And here we don't want you to start narrating a story about whether this has been good or bad. This is an exploration of where you've been, how it has been moving toward what we want.* *Be kind. Whatever you come across. Be kind to yourself. This is a noticing practice. It's subtle and it's highly informative too.* *I can't put myself in your shoes exactly.* *But I can imagine what it's like to stand at this point in the year, looking back and looking forward, and ask:* *What kind of movement do I actually want between now and December?* *Or how do I want to feel like advancing?* *If you have felt that things have been a struggle, slow, dense, and you want to find more power, or ease, now is the time to let this desire surface.* *If you've moved with ease and you want this to continue, or if you want to gain speed, let this be clear too.* *Whatever state you desire, invite it in this moment. Using your imagination, feel for what it's like when things are easy, smooth, flowing, strong, again, these are my words, but make this resonant for your experience, your path, your movement, find your own words if you like, but more important, feel in your mind, your body, how you wish the next few months to feel.* *Notice that you can invoke a felt sense of the desired state, and have it become felt throughout the body. See if you can dial it up a notch, as if you could be in this state of gracious or powerful momentum right here, right now.* *I want you to remember what this feels like in your body, in your heart. Think 'I can encode this, I want to remember what this feels like.' The feeling is what we are pursuing, not the goal.* *Okay, you can take one last look around, then take a deep, deep breath in, and open your eyes.* ## Why your brain treats the change you want as danger Welcome back. How was that? Now for some context, here's something worth knowing, which I know I'm writing partly for your sake, and partly for my own. **The oldest part of our brain, the part that kept us alive for millennia, has learned to perceive change as danger.** And, cutting a long story short, danger as death. **Change → danger → potential death** Because when you think about it, in changing your path home you may come across a predator (human or animal). For our ancestors, eating that berry they'd never tried before could mean getting poisoned and, yes, dying. That's how our old survival conditioning was built. But in this modern world, it's important to realise that even when the change we want is genuinely good for us, better for our health, our work, our sense of self, **the ancient supersaviour inside us will find reasons to steer us in another direction.** Change is a threat to our survival. The very change you may wish for is likely activating a fear response. To some it will look like procrastination. To others, a push-pull, tug-of-war style, at times for the good, the hopeful, the new, the exciting, and at times, against it. At times it will be manifesting as self-sabotage. That’s what I believe that’s what writer and comparative mythologist [​Joseph Campbell​](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph%5FCampbell?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) was inviting us to understand when he wrote [​*The Hero with a Thousand Faces*​](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%5FHero%5Fwith%5Fa%5FThousand%5FFaces?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), where he presented his theory of the journey of the archetypal hero. He introduces the mythical 'refusal of the call', the part of his monomyth when the hero\* is called to adventure and goes 'ah, thanks but no thanks', turns on his heels and goes back inside the grotto/man cave/in front of Netflix of his ordinary world. **Perhaps the very reason that the refusal of the call exists is because this behaviour lives in our DNA, one of the most encoded expressions of existence: to seek the safety of the ordinary world above all.** I'm not here to blame our well-meaning reptilian brain, who, I am sure, is dancing in a corner, celebrating its superhero status, for keeping us out of danger. But if we want to see change in our lives, and maybe, crucially, create impact in the world, we need to pay close attention to the mechanisms holding us back. They're nearly invisible at first (that's their job). But once you know that fear is at play, you can start to spot it: in the procrastination, the push-pull, the sudden urge to reorganise your desk (or your wardrobe, or your fridge) instead. And what you can see, you can work with. **Fear you can see is fear you can work with.** Some of it, you will work with on your own. **But here's what I've learned, in my own life and in this work: the fear is most convincing exactly where the change matters most. The refusal you can spot in small things becomes nearly invisible around the big ones, the ones with real stakes: it stops looking like fear and starts looking like reasons.** That's not a flaw in any of us. It's how we've been designed. And it's why we've been telling this story for thousands of years: at exactly this point, the guide appears. **It's what Campbell saw in the myths: the refusal of the call is never overcome by willpower alone.** What breaks the spell is a meeting. A mentor, a guide, a teacher, who appears, helps the hero cross the threshold, and then walks the road with them. Think of what the guide actually does in these stories: the guide asks the questions the hero can't yet ask themselves, holds steady when the terrain gets rough, sees the strength the hero can't yet see, and later, helps them recognise it as their own. In every version of the story, from the oldest myths to Star Wars' Yoda (the one that came to mind as I was writing this), the guide doesn't just take off once the hero has accepted the call. **The crossing is a moment. The guiding is part of the journey. Because the journey isn't meant to be walked alone.** Possibly, what I've shared, written, recorded, has been percolating at the back of your mind. If you've been thinking 'Anne's coaching (or consulting) could be for me, but…', that's not a sign that it isn't. **It may be a sign that the fear has started dressing itself as reasons.** And here's the thing about the last six months of a year: they're shorter than they look. Not on the calendar, in lead time. **If you want to see something happen in October, the preparing starts now, in July.** Momentum isn't built in a sprint at the end; it's built in small steps, it begins early. So yes, slow down this summer. And, before you do, decide what you're moving toward, so even your slower steps are pointed the right way. So if you've been telling yourself 'maybe I start in September', this is me, gently, saying: start now. Small and slow is fine. Small and slow is the point. By September, you'll be taking bigger steps because of the quiet ones you took over the summer. PS. Campbell only wrote about the masculine version of the hero's journey. But one of his students, Maureen Murdock, mapped the heroine's journey (her book of that name is where I'd send you). Male or female, though, Campbell certainly had a point about the shape of that monomyth. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Proof of Life URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/proof-of-life/ Last updated: 2026-07-26T18:44:16.000Z ## Don't let Command W hit you on the way out The Metta View - Proof of Life - Audio version - Read by Anne V Mühlethaler 0:00 /910.454416 1× *For the video version,* [*head over to YouTube*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaFx7QOhq%5F4&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The strangest thing happened to me the other day. I was hanging out in the Slack channel of a savvy, tech-ish community I belong to, and I saw advertised an opening for "storytelling PR." Given that PR is like my middle name and storytelling one of my passions, my fingers instinctively clicked through. What awaited me on the other side of my curiosity could not have surprised me more. Under my eyes, a glossy black background appeared, gold Times New Roman headers, and the unmistakable flatness of AI-generated copy answering a rather lousy prompt. In a rather frenzied fashion, I found myself clicking around the website trying to understand what actual gold was hiding on the page. After all, storytelling PR was telling me "there's something good to talk about here." Eventually I zigzagged my way to a simplistic three-portal design which revealed some kind of choose-your-own-adventure experience for people to explore their purpose. Or something to that effect. Hard to elaborate, because my left thumb and index finger hit Command W, as if I'd slammed the door shut on my way out. (If you don't know: Command W closes a tab.) What was so bad? Every piece of text screamed default ChatGPT. But what had me flee the scene was a combination of hollow words multiplied by bad design. Bad juju. **It felt almost as if I had landed, Martian-like, onto an empty planet. No sign of life here. Bots had been around, though.** If this wasn't for me, the storytelling PR lover with a very explicit propensity toward self-development, then who was this built for? Moments later, I paused to consider the implications and felt my face beginning to tense up. I rubbed my temples just as I realised that someone was going to take a job spinning stories about that silly platform that offered an even sillier AI-generated self-discovery program. No amount of PR or storytelling talent could make it a success. **No wonder some people think of PR and communications as hot air.** **Anything can be hot air if we choose to put out work that has no substance.** What's that I hear? "Anne, it's hard to put work with depth out there. Do people even care?" YES WE CARE. Sorry, that came from my soul. It wanted to be heard. I know it's hard. We live with this endless tension between "I want words and designs that express me, my brand, my objectives" and also "it's hard." **But anything worth making will bring friction, and with it difficulty and frustration.** I too have shouted at my screen after writing, drafting scope of work emails, designing my own social posts; I've paced up and down my apartment groaning trying to release the bubbling anger when graphic designers failed to understand my brief; I've sat on the floor of my living room, devastated, after calling it quits with my second to last design appointment because that person and I had completely different understandings of what the word "designer" actually means. But then my following appointment was just awash with ease and joy. What do you know? AI promises to remove all of that. And what I see on the other side is: when the metaphorical blood, sweat and tears are gone, what's left is an empty shell. Think snail. No more life in there. Isn't it funny, not ha-ha funny, how we can feel effort and intention even behind simple 2D frames? Our struggle builds creative grit. That's also where breakthroughs come from: ideas, products, writings, podcasts, art. You name it. **When something you're making comes hard, what do you make that mean? That you're not good enough, or that it matters?** **The point of design is the process. The care is the point.** Which means AI-generated design isn't just aesthetically flat. It's philosophically wrong. It skips the thing that makes design mean something. **This leads me to wonder: how do we express substance online?** **Counter-intuitively, not everything needs to be online.** Don't build or move in online unless you have the means to invest in quality, whether in design or copy. The investment could be time, money, or both. Building online has always been a tough translation exercise: to take what is textured, subtle, or specific in real life and make it feel right on a screen. **It's not unlike what I wrote about the other day, about** [​**the 3D self versus the flat pack self.**​](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/from-flat-pack-to-3d-self/) This calls back to a time when I was still working for Christian Louboutin, heading communications. Back then, the brand's website ticked the boxes for a functional e-commerce platform, but it felt devoid of the brand's personality, the mix of camp, grit, and outrageous creativity that has been otherwise synonymous with our designer. A survey of clients confirmed this. The women polled said they didn't recognise the brand on the site. No sign of him. Which in itself was the problem, because back then you could feel his touch in every store and in most aspects of the brand. This wasn't a hard read, though it escaped many in the upper echelons of the business. Christian's extraordinary taste in architecture and design, his whimsy, his love of sourcing random materials from his travels, like bespoke lighting fixtures made of agate slices (oh, there's a story there), the handpicked patchwork-covered furniture, the Indian-crafted wall coverings and other eclectic interior elements that unmistakably said: "ah, he was here." This didn't just come from nowhere. **No wonder** [​**he's designing and opening hotels now.**​](https://www.instagram.com/p/DZguxIKDKHc/?img%5Findex=1&igsh=ODE3bmJjMjV5bWFw&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **Many websites say: sorry, our creative was never here.** In a sense, it's a way of saying they don't care about *this*. Head over to Cartier.com and tell me what you see. What I see is a digital platform designed for conversion over experience, an empty shell, a simplified shelf compared to the experience of their retail stores. It's hard for small brands. For independents. For big brands. It's that 3D versus flat pack problem, made digital. **How can we make it better, I hear you ask?** Unless we experience what good or bad design actually feels like, it's unlikely that our online homes, those essential calling cards, will ever feel anything like their three-dimensional counterparts. As I was editing this essay, I remembered a quote from a movie. I had the second half of it, and AI helped me fish it out in full. It's from The American President (1995), written by Aaron Sorkin. The exchange is between Lewis Rothschild (Michael J. Fox) and President Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas): Lewis: "They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand."President Shepherd: "People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference." **What I'm arguing here is this: we drink sand, bad design, because we don't know the difference.** For better design to emerge, we all need exposure to a wider, more eclectic range in general. I am arguing for the need to build a taste register. To learn to feel the difference. To look outside of industry and competitors, to react to good or bad design. To look at artists. To let ourselves feel the joy of creativity, bold choices, or the puzzled feeling of something genuinely quirky. All we need is to spend a few minutes every week following our curiosity, learning to notice how sensorially charged a good digital design can be. I personally feel tickled by certain font choices and functionalities. I felt distraught not long ago when I realised I'd lost a short list of websites I'd come across and loved, inspiration for a future mood board. **Like a house, a website is a home for what you or your brand stands for. In essence, it's an expression of your values.** The day I looked at that website, my reaction expressed the misalignment between the intention of storytelling PR I'd read about and the reality of AI-generated design. What I was experiencing wasn't just bad aesthetics. It was a breach of something. **Aesthetics as ethics, you could say.** The quality of the container matters as much as the content. How something is delivered is part of what is being said. You cannot separate the two. My favourite example this year was the Hermès homepage, and their deliberate use of hand-drawn illustration, the addition of friction and discovery. Hermès made this choice despite their resources, and because of their commitment to their values. **They understand that in a moment when everything is racing toward AI-smooth and frictionless, texture is the differentiator. Craft is the signal. The proof of life is in the details.** **This brings me back to proof of life. That's what I'm looking for when I encounter someone's work.** Not: was AI involved? I use AI too. But: how present was the human in this? Can I feel someone thinking, choosing, caring, and occasionally, like I do, getting it wrong? Failure is part of the process of creating. Because AI is brilliant when directed by smart and caring humans. **The problem isn't the tool. It's the absence of intention. The plastic sheen when you want the depth of lacquer.** **If the promise of AI is to remove the friction, it may be that we create an empty world. If it requires no effort, is it worth doing?** **What if the fact that this is hard isn't a sign we're doing it wrong, but a sign it's worth doing?** I see how many of my clients, my friends, my audience exist at the opposite end of this frictionless experience. Our values mirror each other. Not only are they full of substance, purpose-led, heart-led, pursuing projects they genuinely believe in, but they also want to be inspired by others who are putting effort and care into what they do. At times they struggle with finding the right words, the right design experience, the right consultants or service providers, caught between inner vision and outer expression, between the full complexity of what they care about and the language, design or otherwise, available to express it. **That gap, between substance and expression, between who you are and how you come across, is exactly where I work.** I delight when I see people bring the texture of who they are into the work they put out into the world. Deep, differentiating, crafted, authentic, memorable, uniquely yours. We all have a choice every single day about what we put out and how we put it out. I'm not above anyone when I say it can feel hard. **The pressure to produce is real. The quality of presence it demands is real.** But if you're going for depth and substance, if you want your work to carry the quality of attention you actually have, I work as a midwife to your expression, helping bring what's already in you out into the world. Three-dimensional. Alive. You know where to find me. Until next time, thanks for reading. --- ## DIVE DEEPER **Aesop and the art of refusing to flatten** Take Aesop. Years ago, when I was about to open the Louboutin store on Mount Street in London, Aesop were opening down the same street. I remember being fascinated watching how they partnered with a different architect in every city, no visual throughline from store to store, apart from the product itself. Every experience made new and surprising by the choice to work with opinionated designers in eclectic locations ([​look for yourself​](https://www.dezeen.com/tag/aesop/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) thanks to Dezeen.com). Around the same time, they were sending long-form emails. Never crowding my inbox, I was surprised to see literary references, intellectual notes, barely any product mentions. I've thought about their emails on and off for fifteen years. About the clarity of their point of view. I was only mildly surprised to read that the brand turned two of their mainland Chinese boutiques into [​pop-up libraries​](https://www.instagram.com/p/DZ7zGX%5FCg5k/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). [![](https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/5GxVE38qSHxbPZ61DSVNor/ckRGxczwF2rwGaNEM3wpsn/email)](https://www.instagram.com/p/DZ-v2vuCClv/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fweb%5Fcopy%5Flink&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==) Image Aesop via Somewhere on IG *(The Aesop Women's Library arrived in Wuhan, with shelves cleared of formulations to make way for complimentary books by female authors. This year, the Library focuses on the notion of the human body as a bridge between our private interiority and what is shared with the wider world.)* If you visit their website, their design philosophy is plainly stated: "We believe unequivocally that well-considered design improves our lives." When choosing new locations, their intention is to "weave ourselves into the fabric of place and add something of merit rather than impose a discordant presence." And yet, in my eyes, their homepage doesn't reflect the originality and intentionality they bring to their store design. I'm sure someone would argue the financial numbers or some other constraint. It's a shame. Even a brand this intentional still flattens online. But not completely. On their footer, arguably the most unglamorous real estate on any website, they made it generous, clear, human: every possible need anticipated, every person on the other side of the screen considered. Nobody asked them to do that. They just did. Even the footer. Care made visible in the least glamorous corner of the house. --- **On sovereignty, digits and showing up** My friend [​Caitlin Krause​](https://www.caitlinkrause.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), a former guest on Out of the Clouds, works the other side of this question entirely. She's not lamenting what digital or tech gets wrong. She's asking how we use it to genuinely connect, and insisting that we don't relinquish our sovereignty to the machine before we've had a chance to know ourselves first. She makes the case for experience, intention, and exploration. She has a provocation I keep returning to: the origin of the word digital comes from our digits. Our hands are the execution of our will, the fine-tuning of our doing. So why would we make what lives on the other side of the screen hollow, frictionless, emptied of us? "Your body is your testing ground. You get to have your experience and own it," she says. Experiment. Try. Notice how you feel. The question was never whether digital can carry meaning. It's whether we're willing to show up and put it there. Listen to our conversation on the podcast. [​LISTEN HERE​](https://pod.link/1516245733/episode/NjljYTk0YmRjYjc5YTExNGUyYTdhMDNm?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) --- *"Skill still requires repetition. Creativity still demands boredom, frustration and failed attempts."* [​It's Nice That​](https://www.itsnicethat.com/articles/linda-merad-hermes-illustration-project-090426?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### The author inside the word URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/the-author-inside-the-word/ Last updated: 2026-07-15T13:07:54.000Z I meant to host a gathering last Sunday, on the solstice. I didn't. For days it's been overwhelmingly hot, and something in me knew that I needed to pause. I'm glad I listened. This morning I was in a session with someone I call my quantum therapist (I mentioned him before and no, I still can't fully explain what he does), and what surfaced was a word. **Autorité. Authority.** **And inside it: auteur. Author.** I've been building a body of work around story for years now. The stories we tell about ourselves. The ones we leave out. The ones that shape how others see us, and more importantly, how we see ourselves. And the communication part that comes parallel to the stories. The one I learned from experience: own the narrative or someone else will claim your story for you. But this morning I understood something I hadn't quite named before. **The pendant of story is authorship.** Not writing, necessarily. Not craft or technique. Not journaling, not publishing. **But the act of claiming, or declaring: I am the one who gets to shape this narrative. I have agency here.** Even when life imposes certain stories we didn't choose, and it does, it always does, there is a creative impulse available to us. A possibility. Or rather many possibilities. We are all authors. Even those of us who have never written a word. **Sol sistere. The sun stands still.** We've crossed the mid-year threshold. From here until December 21st, the light begins its long folding. And it seems to me a natural moment to pause and ask the oldest, simplest question: **What do I want?** **Not what should I do. Not what does the next quarter require. Not what would look good, or make sense, or be responsible.** What do I actually want? Where would I like to see an unfolding, in my life, in my work, in myself, between now and the end of the year, the next solstice? Is it ease? Energy? Results? Something that doesn't have a name yet? I wrote about this a few years ago, about a catalytic moment when sat, downtrodden and exhausted, asked the question and wrote down the answers that came. As with most of the work I invite you to explore, it's for the brave, not just the ready. Once you know what you want, you can't 'unknow' it. It's from a place of knowing that we can start claiming authorship. **→ On goal-setting, desires, and intentions →** [**READ IT HERE**](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/on-goal-setting-desires-and-intentions/) And if you'd like to bring this question somewhere, to sit with it in good company, with some structure and some space, I'm holding an Intention Hour on Monday June 30th. It's a monthly gathering, pay what you can (suggested: 35 CHF). → Join me for the Intention Hour, June 30th → [REGISTER HERE](https://luma.com/0mznaijo?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ### On Goal Setting, Desires and Intentions URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/on-goal-setting-desires-and-intentions/ Last updated: 2026-06-22T14:38:39.000Z ## The journey toward a fulfilling life ### *“You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed.” From the classic Vedic text known as the Upanishads* A few years ago, I bought and started reading a book by Shakti Gawain called [Creative Visualisation](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/582533.Creative%5FVisualization?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). My close friend had mentioned it over late-night drinks and had explained how internet visionary [Natalie Massenet](https://www.businessoffashion.com/community/people/natalie-massenet?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) often credited it as a source of powerful inspiration in her life. Said friend had worked with Natalie closely at Net-a-porter, and so did I, though externally, for about 15 years or so. She was an inspiration for us both and many others around us in the world of fashion and luxury retail. At first, I only dipped into the book. I wasn’t trying to gain anything specific from it. Most days, I opened it at random and explored the various meditations and affirmations that the book offered. I saw value in it for sure, but I didn’t feel like being linear with it. Also, I have a powerful imagination, so visualising felt like second nature, something I was already well attuned to. ## *One section of it seemed harder though. It looked like something I would need to actually need to put some real work into. And that was the chapter on Goal Setting*.* I think it took me about three years from buying the book to deciding to get into this section.* Now it’s easy to see in retrospect, so I can tell you honestly why it was a challenge for me for such a long time. You might know this already. An essential part of goal setting involves taking a deep look at yourself and your life and discovering (or admitting) what you really, truly desire. Only then can you start the work of getting what you want, backed by the knowledge of your heart’s deep purpose. I then learned that most of us are afraid of that first part: the bit where we need to figure out our deepest desires. It can feel quite scary to face your own heart. Because once you have made that connection, once you know, it’s hard, if not impossible, to ignore your truth. You can attempt to stick it in an imaginary Tupperware box that you hide deep at the back of your mind (borrowing this image from my friend Merve). But you still know it’s there. It’s not an option to go back to simpler times when you didn’t know. Ignorance is bliss, some say. Now that’s not true for everyone, of course, but I for sure was happy with a more misty, unclear view of my future. A type of fog was covering up much of my dreams and purpose. As I see it, our egos, our limbic brains, are wired to keep us safe in the status quo of whatever life we have followed. Because good or bad, there is comfort and safety in the known. For me, getting out of my comfort zone and looking at my heart’s purpose involved quite a lot of digging, some surprises and well… discomfort. Classically, I had fallen into the life I was living back then. I never wanted or aimed to get into the fashion world, and yet there I was, in a grand Parisian apartment next to the Louvre, head of Global Communications for a luxury fashion house. My dream, towards which I had worked very hard in my twenties, had initially been to get into the music business as a singer (and songwriter though songwriting wasn’t my forte). One minor issue: I had no desire to live the (late night) life of a performer and had no desire to be famous. To be an artist, yes, but a public persona, no. To support myself during my studies, I started to work in retail and it turns out I was pretty good at it. I am chatty, personable and well organised, plus I like to make things happen for people. So things took off, so to speak. From Geneva I moved to London and ended up in a lovely boutique which I became the manager of in the early 2000’. A small business, it was all hands on deck most days so I started doing some of the PR coordination for the brand. I was then given the extra remit to develop the wholesale in the UK for this beautiful shoe designer. As my career and skills developed, organically, so did the company which went through explosive international growth. Meanwhile, the music industry was going through its TV show makeover, anyone wanting to make a name for themselves having to get on the X Factor or equivalent. This felt like it was just not an option for me. So I decided to embrace this new world of high fashion that I had stumbled into. It was a real decision and I even remember when I made it and who showed me how. For some time, I was disconnected in this world, let’s say in some kind of limbo because I had no money to my name, I worked very hard for what I got, my parents certainly didn’t help me and it felt like it wasn’t for me. Like I wasn’t worth it, like I wasn’t good enough. But in embracing the environment, the industry I evolved in, I delved deeply beyond the surface of things, as I do, and I discovered so much. Such great craftsmanship, artistry, heart, dedication. I met and befriended wonderful people, designers, writers, journalists, and everyone else behind the scenes who made this business’ heart beat faster. So many people are dedicated to creating beauty in the world, with a work ethic and a passion that continuously inspires me, to this day. Because they all choose to show up for what they love and what they believe in. I cannot help but be awed and grateful by my startling path. So somehow, almost unwittingly, I climbed the corporate ladder as the company shaped itself to mirror the rest of the booming luxury fashion industry. Of course I put in the hours, and was rewarded by traveling to amazing places around the world, meeting and working with even more amazing people. I learned so much, most of it on the job, for years thrown in at the deep end. Luckily I managed to swim, mostly, rather than sink. A few years in, I became partly imprisoned by a lifestyle that started to define me, from the “always-on” culture, the workload, including the benefit of a big paycheck and the international traveling habits. Due to my own nature, my dedication to servicing the business’s needs, and looking after my teams the best way I knew how, I ended up near burnout. This probably went on for a couple of years. Something that my corporate boss knew and which I did not. Something that he did nothing about. It’s only when I came face to face with the problem I wasn’t addressing, that I decided it was time I should figure out what I wanted for my life going forward. After all, I am a problem solver at heart. I was ‘the Fixer’. So I would fix myself, get clear on my goals and be on my merry way: exiting the company was one thing, leaving the city I disliked so, and stepping into the light. Yes, slightly romantic notions. So one morning, on my sofa in my beautiful apartment, looking over the Seine, I opened Shakti Gawain’s book at the scary section and finally started to do the work. Out of a roughly three-hour writing session came out one particular vision that was truly unexpected. In the process of jotting down so many things on paper, addressing all areas of one’s life, a couple of amazing ideas came through, which linked my personal story, my interests in yoga and meditation, and were putting me on a path of service. I won’t get into more details, because I am still flushing it out, three years on, suffice to say, it was taking me out of the industry I knew and would require me to dig deep. Where do you start, when you need to change your life around. Well, it’s like the classic question: how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time… I started by resigning and making an interim plan that would take me out of corporate life and ideally out of the burnout zone, and out of Paris. I decided that freelance work would be best, because I could be in charge of my own time and hence could choose not to work full time — leaving space for studies and reading. These were things that seemed essential to guide my next steps towards future plans. Throughout this time, I experimented daily with various meditations, some guided, some on my own. Whether Loving Kindness, Vedic mantra meditation, contemplation, the practices all supported me and helped me get clear on my intentions. To follow a life that would be true to my heart, to connect with others with kindness and compassion, with openness and love, joy. ## *Words I had started using before leaving the job, which had left some team members slightly confused.* But big shifts push our buttons, fear creeping in throughout the day and mostly at night. The first few months were really hard, especially when like me, one is used to working relentlessly. I found myself feeling increasingly guilty when not at my desk from morning to night. Two years in now, I am only just starting to accept and enjoy the fact that my life does not need to be solely defined by work. Progress. *“Hard decisions are only hard when you are in the process of making them.” – Debbie Millman* Interestingly this change has created some issues in a couple of my friendships. Occasionally, I catch a glimpse of who I used to be. I see some friends completely immersed in their work, with not a second dedicated to their life, whether sentimental, intellectual or even their physical health. Our communication is sometimes strained, probably because they don’t understand what I am doing. I don’t participate so much in conversations where everyone explains how busy they are. Because I’m not that busy, I’m trying to make space for new things and I think it’s fantastic (most of the time, until I think there is something wrong with me…). Anyway, each to our own. I don’t want to judge them, after all I have been there and I cannot dislike this life, or what I did then, because it led me to who I am today. And I love where I am. In any case, life has a funny way of putting the right things in front of you at the right time. This year I found myself enrolled in both a 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training and Meditation & Mindfulness Teacher Training. Both of these are pillars of my dream vision and I am incredibly lucky to be receiving the teachings of these wonderful courses. So I am studying, doing the work alongside freelance consulting, and as you can tell I am writing. All this being possible because of my Paris vision-writing home-workshop. Possible because I made space for what could happen, certainly helped by my meditation and mindfulness practices. Possible because I found some openness in myself and embraced the risk, trusting that I got this. ### **The Practice of Goal Setting:** I have encouraged many friends to try out Shakti Gawain’s method, but I would also like to recommend a few others. I tried these too and found they had their merits. For example, consider writing a [10 year essay](https://yourtenyearplan.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), as explained by the wonderful Debbie Millman [in her interview with Tim Ferris](http://fourhourworkweek.com/2017/01/12/how-to-design-a-life-debbie-millman/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). Tim actually introduced the episode by saying to his listeners that to most of them this would be the most important podcast interview they would ever listen to. I concur! One of the most beautiful and heart-opening conversations I have ever heard. I also greatly enjoyed how Deepak Chopra presented another method of getting clear goals in his book the “[The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/137038.The%5FSpontaneous%5FFulfillment%5Fof%5FDesire?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)”. I dearly hope that this will be of use to someone who, like me then, needed to be shown a way out of the known, and that you will be able to make the leaps your heart desires. --- *This article was originally published on Medium.com and* [*on OutoftheClouds.com*](https://outoftheclouds.com/writing/on-goal-setting-desires-and-intentions/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) ### From Flat-Pack to 3D Self URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/from-flat-pack-to-3d-self/ Last updated: 2026-06-16T15:38:06.000Z ## We hand over the flat-pack. Then wonder why no one sees the full box. *Story of You is a hybrid methodology at the intersection of communication, values coaching and self-expression with more than a touch of mindfulness. It’s informed by writing craft and memoir, just as it is by my many years working on business development and global communications.* The Metta View Flat Pack self vs 3D Self Essay Anne Muhlethaler 0:00 /868.066395 1× **congruence** *(n.)* /ˈkɒŋ.ɡru.əns/ *the quality of being similar to or in agreement with something.* from the Latin *congruere* — to come together, to agree, to meet. *My translation:* when the inside and the outside are the same shape. When what you feel, who you are, and how you come across finally agree. --- **incongruence** *(n.)* /ɪnˈkɒŋ.ɡru.əns/ *formal:* the state of not fitting well with something else. *mathematics:* when one shape does not have the same shape and size as another. *My translation:* Two versions of you that are no longer the same shape. The pain of not being met as what you actually are. Or worse, a self that cannot meet itself. *(Definitions: Cambridge Dictionary)* --- I heard the term ’when your presentation falls flat‘ not long ago. And the word *flat* had me scratch my head, my hands have a way of telling me when I’m reaching deep, or when something doesn’t feel quite right. **Flat as opposed to what, I asked myself.** An image landed in my mind, one of a standard brown cardboard box, the kind you buy when you prepare to move house. **There is the *flat*\-pack.** **And there is the fully expressed 3D version.** The analogy unfolded from that simple word. Flat. It opened up a new way of showing who and what Story of You is for. You see, there is a particular breed of us misfits who really have a pressing and essential need to share who we are, in as much fullness as possible. I remember that in a session with my quantum therapist (and no, I can’t explain his job), he reflectively offered: “Ah, yes. He paused. Your soul wants to be known.” I rolled my eyes at the camera (we were on WhatsApp video). I meant to argue with him but a tug inside of me had me swallow the words before they reached my lips. I paused. “Nah, just admit it. He’s right,” a voice inside of me pointed out, matter of fact. This had me think about what this work is and who it’s for, what I call Story of You. Because, three years down the line, it’s clear that Story of You is not for everyone. After a little digging, here’s what I came to conclude. **The people drawn to this methodology share a drive that goes way beyond communication.** **Story of You for people who care about expressing themselves *authentically*.** **Or connecting with others from that authentic place.** But Anne, you may say, most people want that, don’t they? (Imagine a buzzer sound) Wrong! [![](https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/5GxVE38qSHxbPZ61DSVNor/f1HKSU17pxQbgSSjTEuPDA/email)](https://sublime.app/card/e90c89e91d52-jpg?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) [Cardboard box image via Sublime App](https://sublime.app/card/q85-jpeg?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **Without going quantum mystic on you, I've recently discovered that in certain academic circles, people refer to personal expression across a spectrum: on the one side, we have the Authentic Self and on the other, the Presented Self.** The words do a good job here. We all have an authentic self, that experiences a *multi-dimensional* inner life, and when we are out in the world, we show a *manipulated* version of that self, the Presented Self. We can all agree that we don’t say everything we think when in public. We learn the acceptable social codes, and when we don’t, life teaches us, an awkward and sometimes painful process. We are taught to show ourselves at specific angles, presenting the ‘right,’ most flattering or relevant version of ourselves depending on the environment. But for most of us, we’re only showing a sliver of that multi-dimensional inner life. Here’s how we could illustrate the gap between the authentic and the presented self. ![](https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/5GxVE38qSHxbPZ61DSVNor/mjU15M52yyuAxQXECPzQcf/email) Artwork by [@worry\_lines](https://www.instagram.com/worry%5F%5Flines/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) Via Sublime App **In other words, if your inner life is like a grand multi-faceted and complex cardboard box, your presented self is often the flattened version of the box.** **The way I see it, the Presented Self is part created by choice (aka under our control) and part automated (running our OS, think our operating system, made up of the beliefs that run our lives in the background).** **The automated part was built from years of feedback, parental, societal, self-referential.** **That new shape has us fit in with more ease. Right?** **We've learned to flatten because people told us "that's the shape you *should* take" as a human in this society.** So our presented self is the flattened cardboard. You know them, you've shopped for them before. It’s a handy conversion of our full expression. Meanwhile, it’s unfortunately incongruent with the fuller expression of what the box is. **THE PAIN IN THE INCONGRUENCE** Now some of us don’t mind that we are not the same inside and out. From flat to unpacked or vice versa, they are content. I’ve got a good friend who only presents a sliver of who they are in public. While they are, by all accounts, really bad at talking about themselves, they could not care less. The earth doesn’t stop turning when they fail at describing themselves, their work. Their recognition needs are being met in other ways. Plus they have a whole story about why that’s actually not a problem. Some will feel discomfort, knowing that they are serving a lesser version of their full expression, but they’ll tell themselves: “I don’t think I need help. I can manage as it is.” The refusal of the call, in hero’s journey terms. They find solace in the discomfort. It’s what they know. Also, the pain isn’t acute enough. **Meanwhile others may bolt upright in the middle of the night, beads of sweat at their temples, the incongruence slipping into anxious thoughts disturbing their rest. They try to forget about it, but the more they ignore the issue, the more the authentic self feels ignored, the more the discomfort grows.** **With their peace gone, their minds frantically look for a solution. This cannot do. *This* needs to get better.** **This being the “flat-pack self-presentation”. The pain comes from not being received as they'd intended.** But of course, the realisation that comes next is this: if all we ever do is hand people a flat pack, we are putting the responsibility of the unpacking to those on the other side. [![](https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/5GxVE38qSHxbPZ61DSVNor/3hutxUQ2nP1JYJzkNJmqMJ/email)](https://sublime.app/card/q85-jpeg?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) Exploded carboard box via Sublime App This moment, the intersection of that felt sense of ’things must change now’ and ‘oh I see the outline of the problem’ is generally when people get in touch with me. They groan in pain from the acute felt sense of the gap. Once they see the difference between flat-pack and 3D, they cannot unsee it. What is happening inside is not ‘just’ about communicating ourselves clearly. It’s about being able to paint an accurate picture so that others can see the unique, multi-dimensional life they hold. They feel an even greater, existential pain at showing the flattened version. They want to share their depth and complexity and uniqueness. They want to be known for who they are. And the flat-pack doesn't get them there. **With every occasion they miss, it’s like they forget the “full shape” of the box-essence. When they want to reconnect with it, they realise they‘ve lost their ability to deploy, open up the folds, and take the space that is theirs to take. They’ve been flat for so long. They tear at the construct, try to pry it open, blaming themselves for not being capable of bringing this 3D version of themselves into life.** **My clients come to me because a voice inside of them says: ‘This has to unfold.’** **Another way of saying it is: ‘I want to remember how to take that space. I want people to see me for who I am.’** **The gap, or the pain, that was showing up as communication failure, the failure to be seen or understood by others. But the underlying need is what I call self-access.** **It’s remembering.** **It's getting clear about the flattened or forgotten parts of who we are and what we stand for.** **It's finding (and naming) what gives us meaning.** **So that we can show it to the world. Or at least to the people we care about.** [![](https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/5GxVE38qSHxbPZ61DSVNor/f7psqujuNjRUBpf36Xvv4H/email)](https://pin.it/29gY97P42?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) [cardboard sculpture via Pinterest](https://pin.it/29gY97P42?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **The real juice of Story of You is actually not telling the story, it starts with that self-access, the ability to retrieve, and later unfold who we are.** I want to pause on that word for a moment: self-access. It might feel abstract at first, but read it again and you'll notice it holds an image inside it. Access is a door. A way in. More uncommon than self-understanding, self-access tells another story. Self-understanding is something we arrive at. Self-access is something we practise. A door we keep learning to open. Some days the door is heavier. Some days it swings. Self-understanding is what you might arrive at after years of self-access. But access is what you can build, today, with practice. That's why I chose the word. But self-access is not something we pursue for its own sake. Remember? The soul want to be known. This work, especially when it's about being authentic, can only be revealed when experienced by another. How else do we know how we are received? *No one can fully appreciate their own beauty and strengths unless those things are mirrored back to them in the mind of another.’ - How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, David Brooks* The coaching relationship is the mirror that solo introspection cannot offer. But for self-access to happen, we need to feel safe enough in ourselves. The coach is responsible for creating what I call a safe container, to guide the clients to self-access, before they can become the mirror. Whether in a dyad (the smallest possible group, one on one), or larger groups, the coach guides the client in that safe access, together they **ex**amine, **ex**plore, **ex**periment. The prefix is significant. Ex, meaning: out of. Or away from. We need to reach inward, learn to access the multi-dimensional shape of who we are. **In truth, we will never be able to translate the inner shape into the outer expression. That’s just not how a human spirit reveals itself.** Just like some words are impossible to translate from one language into another, our authentic self will never be the presented self. Instead, we have this other possibility, to use the pieces we have discovered within and create a new shape that honours the essence of that authentic inner self. My work is akin to guiding people along a path, helping them get over the obstacles, so they can reach within and retrieve the pieces, and even guide them to put those together for outward expression. It’s a discovery process, and after discovery, it’s a creative endeavour. One in which we craft, or author, the new presented self. If you hear someone say *"I'm terrible at talking about myself,"* know that their problem isn't communication. It's almost always a problem of self-access. They've lost the door inward (many of us have) and without it, the words can't carry their shape. The Story of You Workshop isn't a course on telling your story. It's a practice in accessing more of yourself. The story emerges from that. **The last live run in this current format is on Wednesday.** Two days from now. After this, the methodology will evolve into something more structured, and I won't be running this same workshop again. If self-access is the door you've been looking for, that's where it's open. Wednesday June 17th, 4:30 PM - 6:30 PM CEST [​Details and registration here. ​](https://luma.com/xr7wwbsu?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) Any questions, drop me a line. Warmly, Anne ### Story Shapes vs Idea Shapes URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/story-shapes-vs-idea-shapes/ Last updated: 2026-07-15T13:08:03.000Z ## Or the difference between "that's interesting" and "tell me more" Metta View Anne Muhlethaler Story Shapes vs Idea Shapes 0:00 /1005.900041 1× So, tell me. When was the last time someone asked you to tell your story? Did you flinch? Were you ready? Did you start sweating a bit? (I do!) Or did you shower the other person with a neat recap of your life to date, in ninety seconds flat? If you're not on Instagram, you may not know that I've been testing different creatives and messaging there, with very mixed feedback. My [​'story of Anne' reel,​](https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYkh2vNtB4x/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fweb%5Fcopy%5Flink&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) however, received much love. So thank you, if you were among the kind folks who left sweet notes in my comments. For a self-confessed queen of longform (queen of my own fictional castle, of course), short-form messaging reminds me of when I picked up tennis again in my mid-forties. I hadn't run after a ball since my teens. Of course, I got the gear first, because much of tennis is about the outfit, as I'm sure you know from [​Naomi Osaka's Paris clay-court fashion show​](https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/other/naomi-osaka-s-latest-french-open-fashion-ensemble-includes-ivory-train-and-gold-jacket/ar-AA24gzwq?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). As it turned out: I'm obsessed. Love tennis. Love it, love it, love it! Also, I'm not very good at all. Hopefully my sheer enthusiasm and determination will see me through to intermediate level. Distilling my thoughts and methodologies into an IG caption, focused as I always am on insights, story, and communication, tends to come out in the shape of ideas. Slippery things, ideas. The stuff our grey matter doesn't like to hold on to. Determined as I was to break through, I landed on an example from my podcast. Ah ha! I've interviewed over 100 people for *Out of the Clouds*, and a dozen for *The Mettā Interview*. **What stories have stayed with me? What do I actually retain of those conversations?** The shape of the answer finally turned into a gritty, textured image. Something worth passing on to you. Not too long ago, I sat for a pre-interview conversation with a very interesting and attractive potential guest: mid-thirties, shaggy blond hair, nice demeanour. We'd met in person, and found ourselves on Zoom discussing what we'd cover should we do an interview together. Very brainy with a scientific background, two degrees and a master's, he spoke mainly in concepts. I revel in the abstract and I knew enough about his field to enjoy the exchange, but I sensed an uneasiness in myself. My mind turned to my audience, to you, essentially. How would you resonate with what he was saying to me? He wasn't mumbling his words, one could even say he was well-spoken, though his speech was peppered with a lot of 'uh' and 'you know'. **Since he was offering no anchor, no story or image or even metaphor, that my mind (or your mind) could work with, I found myself filling in with examples.** I went all in, painting a thorough picture (I won't share the details, given the specifics of the conversation, plus he may be a guest soon). And then I saw it on my screen. I saw the impact of my word-picture, his energy became bright, a smile spread across his face, and his hand ran through his hair. The more I layered on my story to illustrate his point, the more he leaned in, within that Zoom frame. 'This sounds great,' he said. 'I'd love to hear more and discover…' **I had him hooked on an illustration of HIS topic.** This stayed with me. Of course it would. **I love to speak in ideas too. All my first drafts are short and tight and as dry as a super dry martini. Which I find hard to swallow.** A lot of us (myself included) wish for better coverage. Press. Podcasts. Better adoption and engagement on social media. Or we want better jobs, more opportunities. **But how often are we making people lean in?** Someone I spoke to not long ago said communication was like hot air. I couldn't disagree more. **Communication is what you make of it. Like anything you work on and craft, it can be shallow and forgettable, or it can carry a gritty thumbprint that says 'yes, this is undeniably mine.'** Now for the examples. Last year, my friend Serge Mouangue granted me an interview. It was a huge honour, because Serge is a kind and brilliant artist, and someone very private. He said yes to me. Not so much to the opportunity of being on a podcast. You will not find Serge messaging on Instagram like I am. Or on any other network. You will, however, be able to watch his TEDx Talk, or discover that he was a TED Fellow, or find an article [​on his Wafrica project in *Patek Philippe Magazine*​](https://static.patek.com/pdf/ppmagazine/en/PP%5FMagazine%5FV4%5FN12%5FDuality%5Fin%5FDesign.pdf?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), for example. FYI, earning a feature in the uber-exclusive Geneva biannual watch glossy is a bright signal of exactly how brilliant Serge is. Our interview started as all my interviews do. I asked Serge to tell me his story. **He could have said: “I’m Serge, I was born in Yaoundé, Cameroon, and when I was seven my parents moved to Paris.”** Instead, this is what he offered. Watch the clip if you can, it’s worth hearing the words. Uploading video **Transcript** *(left verbatim, as recorded)* *“So, I was born in Cameroon. Right? I was born in* [​*Yaoundé*​](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaound%C3%A9?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)*, which is the capital of Cameroon, regardless, my dad is from* [​*Douala*​](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douala?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)*, which is, let's say, the biggest city in Cameroon, and my mom is from Bamiléké. So, by Bamiléké,* [​*the bafang people*​](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamileke%5Fpeople?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) *are in the west of Cameroon, whereas the Duala people are in the central south. There's a hundred kilometers between both people. Regardless, I give you a very quick example of the diversity you have in in Cameroon, with the language first of all. So in my mother's dialect, you count from one to ten like this. Listen (he counts from 0-10)* *ni’hi ·mtcheuh ·pah· tii · khouô· tâh ·tou’hou · sambǎ· houâ · vieud’heu· ghôp* *In my father's dialect, which is a hundred kilometers away, its dialect sounds like that:* *ewo · beba · belalo · benei · betanu · mutoba · samba · lombi · dibua · dom* *The first one sounds like Chinese. Anyway, so in Cameroon you have around 250 different dialects, and we use English to communicate in the West, and French in the rest of the country. But every person can understand 3 to 4 different dialects from around where they live, and that's how they get by every day, to buy groceries, to navigate the market.* *So already, at the very beginning, I come from that kind of different sound, variety of ethnicity, and that habitates \[lives inside\] me until today, that diversity, the richness of diversity.”* Can you see why Serge's introduction has stayed with me? **In two minutes, he transported me (and hopefully you too) to Cameroon, through his ears no less.** Not only that: if I asked you to name a leading trait or value in his art, what would you say it is? **Yes, that's right. Richness of diversity.** At that point in the podcast, I was beaming inside (maybe a little outside) and I felt glued to my screen, waiting for Serge to tell me more. I was leaning in both emotionally (from the surprise of how different those two dialects sounded) and intellectually (the richness of diversity, I had a sense of the goodness of what would come next). Without needing to listen to the podcast again, I'll tell you that I also remember an image (which I made up of course) of Serge as a boy in the apartment he shared with his family, an apartment that was nearly empty, because they had very little money at the time. As a result, the future designer spent a lot of time imagining the furniture and appliances that could fill the space. He drew and drew.He has me remembering the origin story for his early career in design. **That's the gift. The image. The empty rooms, a scrawny twelve-year-old, drawing, envisioning.** *That said, you should really* [​*listen to the podcast*​](https://pod.link/1516245733/episode/NjhmZTc2YjFkZWVlNzU0YTcyYTg1Njc5?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) *if you haven't already.* ## A PICTURE OF WHERE YOU’RE FROM A few months after that recording, I worked with a client who was keen to get PR and podcast appearances around the launch of his novel. He was delightfully holding a full page of questions for a British magazine that had confirmed him for a feature. With my super PR hat on, I announced I didn’t want him to write his answers. Instead, I suggested I ask the questions and we record the answers, see what comes up. Anyway, in our case, the interview started with a question stack: *Tell me about yourself, where are you from…* His first answer to me was: *"I grew up in Northern Scotland and…"* **I stopped him right there.** The question itself doesn't lend itself to storytelling. It took me a minute but I rephrased it: *What can you tell me about where you're from, and what it was like growing up there?* He took a beat and ventured: *"Growing up in the Scottish Highlands means you have to be pretty comfortable with nature. You have to be okay with being outdoors in all four seasons. And so, I grew up really appreciating being outdoors."* Now, I've not been to the Scottish Highlands, but since that day I've had an image of it in my mind. Still do. Does it correspond to reality? Doesn't matter. These words left their mark on me. Just as Serge's did with his dialect story and thanks to it, I nurture a delightful curiosity about Cameroon and the languages spoken by its people. ## ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE QUESTIONS - OR THE REFRAME One could argue that the journalist could have asked more interesting questions (think of the way I reframed it). Or equally, you could say Anne, you could do better than ask your guests “tell me your story” as the first question on the podcast. Maybe. **But responsibility lies on both sides: it's as much on the interviewer as on the interviewee to produce an interesting piece.** **Want people to remember you? Give them something to remember you by.** And if you start thinking, 'oh, I don't have anything like that to tell', notice how my client gave me an outline, nothing like a complex structure or a narrative arc. He brought something out of his lived experience, his psyche, in textured, illustrated story-shape. **'You have to be okay with being outdoors in all four seasons' is the start of a story.** I'm leaning in. Are you? Serge, like some of my friends and clients, might emerge from an interview thinking: “I don't know who'll enjoy listening to my ramblings about what I do and where I'm from.” Because putting more of ourselves out there, in story-shape instead of idea-shape, can feel uncomfortable. Potential side-effect? A vulnerability hangover, as Brené Brown calls it. But it's the place from which we can make a mark on others. **Choose your camp. Hide behind the glossy, slippery armour of ideas, or show us the shape of who you are.** --- Next week, I'm offering my first free masterclass, [​**Story Is the Strategy**​](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/story-is-the-strategy/), on 10 June 2026 - 9am LA · 12pm NY · 5pm London · 6pm Paris Masterclass means it's less participatory than my Story of You workshop, so you can clean the house, water the plants (that's what I do when I listen in on courses), or simply lean back and listen. Free, because it's the first time I'm delivering it, so you'll be my guinea pigs, and I don't want to keep out anyone who could benefit from the new perspectives I offer on the what, the why and the how of storytelling or the difference between "that's interesting" and "tell me more." In this online session, *do not expect me to talk about narrative structure or story arc*; this is not a craft talk about writing short stories. Instead, expect my favourite hot takes on how to make people lean in the next time someone asks you to 'tell me your story'. Can't make it live? The replay will be shared the following day. [Book your seat](https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/story-is-the-strategy/) Hope to see you there. Warmly, Anne PS. My very own PR trick, free, while you're here. If you're ever sent written interview questions, don't answer them in writing. Record yourself asking and answering each one aloud (voice notes or Zoom, either works), then write your answers up from the transcript. A bit more work upfront, but it always over-delivers, because you end up sounding like you, rather than like a press release. One of my clients landed a splendid full two-page spread the last time we used that technique. Try it! The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### I'm bad at talking about myself. URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/im-bad-at-talking-about-myself/ Last updated: 2026-08-24T14:32:35.000Z The Metta View Bad At Talking About Myself Anne Muhlethaler audio final 0:00 /192.404648 1× "I am bad at talking about myself." (Inside voice: "If they don't *get* me, they won't *pick* me." - for the job, the opportunity, the contract) That second sentence rarely gets spoken aloud, if ever. There's a third one, continuing on that thread, even more rarely verbalised by the inner voice itself. Variations on "I'm not good enough", "I don't have what it takes", "It's too late for me." Deep breath. There's a fourth layer, further down. That deepest, primal level, exists in the confines of the mind, deep below the level of awareness. "If I don't get this right, that's the end." Melodramatic, maybe, but not untrue. How effectively we communicate shapes how we are seen and understood by others. Our place in the world, surrounded as we are by, well, others, is defined in great part by this capacity.\* From friendships to love, work and career to family and beyond, our nervous system knows. If we fail to present well, we may get cast off, and yes, maybe even die. At least, that was true for our ancestors. Today, echoes of this social truth lives on in our tissues. So when the words don't come, we stammer, forget our point, get clammy and numb, the alarm that fires off isn't about the words. It's about survival. "I am bad at talking about myself" is rarely the whole story. It's the acceptable story thought. The one we are okay airing out because we have control over how we communicate. We can blame our communication for the lack of whatever it is we are lacking. But there is also hidden agency and possibility behind the words, should we choose to see it that way. If we are bad, we could try to be better, even good. Or who knows, utterly brilliant? As you understand, clients come to me naming the external issue - the communication, lack of confidence, the nerves, the opaque sense of not knowing the what or the how. And my job is to follow that all the way down, so that together we can examine, perhaps reframe or rewrite the layers of story. Expect quantum shifts from the layers work. Re-authoring the old hidden stories to support the external change. That's what I guide people to do. What looks like a communication problem is almost always something else, and that something else is what my work is built to address. *\*Communication isn't the only factor that determines our status, but it is one that is in most squarely in our control.* The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### I triangulated. (Arkanoid-style) URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/i-triangulated-arkanoid-style/ Last updated: 2026-06-22T14:38:55.000Z The Metta View Anne Muhlethaler I Triangulated Essay 0:00 /1001.534708 1× I have been kind of quiet for a few weeks, even though I’ve got several essays and drafts kicking around my desktop. *The thing about deep work is, if you want to deliver on it, you can’t move too fast, else you risk losing something meaningful in the process.* When I think of what I’ve been doing, here’s the image that my body gave me about it earlier: my arm right extended, my open hand stretched out wide, and then the movement: of bringing that hand back toward me, the fingers folding back on themselves, almost like a flower closing, as if I'm taking it back, taking it all in, bringing things tightly into focus (visual below). ![](https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/5GxVE38qSHxbPZ61DSVNor/efkrGiWs3mycqiEaKQy1WQ/email) My hand spelling focus Last week I spent seven hours across two days with [​the Op-Ed Project​](https://www.theopedproject.org/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), an extraordinary programme called *Write to Change the World*, founded by the remarkable Katie Orenstein. I was there as an ambassador this time, which meant that it was my second time doing it, and I held space in smaller rooms, alongside their extraordinary senior facilitators, people I found tremendously humbling. I had a self-worth wobble after the first day. There I am surrounded by change-makers, innovators, brilliant academic thinkers and activists, all of them willing to put in the hard work (writing) and to create a positive impact on the world. Who am I to sit alongside them, I thought, immediately then catching myself going: ‘oh no!’ We’d spent a part of the day talking about what makes an expert, and there I was, casting myself aside. “I’m no academic.” In my notes: “I don’t have a PhD in Psychology.” Yep, that was my worthiness wobble. **On the second day, the workshop closes with a surprising and extraordinarily effective way to consider how to talk about our niche (yours, mine, anyone's).** We watched a recording of Katie explaining how she had explored this topic, through the use of a simple equilateral triangle that was meant to triangulate the meaning of her work and expertise, and this was back when she was working on a book launch quite a few years ago. **Now, her expertise originally lived at the granular level of the book topic. At each of the corners of the triangle was an assigned meaning. But when she looked at this, she realized that it was much too narrow and that her work was much bigger than that.** And then she saw the PR plan that was being unveiled by her publishing house marketing team, and she had this visceral, "Oh, no! That’s not me at all.” **So she sought out a way to go more meta on her expertise, instead of the narrow view that gave her such discomfort.** In trying to understand how each corner of her triangle fitted into a wider theme, she found the frame she was looking for. It’s not that the narrow frame is wrong, it’s that it only tells a small part of the story. She needed to be able to frame the small within the large, in support of the work, and the book, she was putting out. After day one, I woke up full of creative energy. After day two, I collapsed, exhausted. Mid-May felt like mid-November, despite the pollen. I developed a mild addiction to K-dramas and stayed horizontal for most of the following three days. This is where the story takes a turn. A few days later, on a bank holiday (which I had not correctly calculated was a bank holiday when I signed up for the second day of the programme — another story), I sat down to work. I had a long list of priorities. Clear, urgent, sensible things that needed doing. **But then, something pulled at me yesterday afternoon.** Not a top priority. Something else. A piece of older work, an e-book I had written a while ago that I had been meaning to revisit, to rename, perhaps repackage. It was barely on the list, but **I found myself opening Canva with this light query: “hmm, what am I doing here?”** I have written before about following the pull, about those moments when something calls to you for no logical reason. What happens if you honour the invitation: you simply follow it without needing to know where it leads. So I followed it. What happened next took most of the following day. I went back into that older work. I started asking myself the questions I ask my clients: *Why does this matter? Who is it for? What does it really want to be?* **And as I sat with those questions, something that had been nagging at me for weeks came up. You, see having developed a methodology like Story of You was suddenly having me describe my expertise only from that lens. And I kept on thinking: but my work is MORE than *just* Story of You.** The other work, about wayfinding and orientation, came back with a new name. ORIENT. A single verb. After a few hours of focused work, I was ready with a new masterclass, the draft of a web page, and suddenly *that* next problem emerged. **How do I explain this in the context of what’s currently on my website?** **If I equate my work to narrative coaching and storytelling, then where does ORIENT live?** At the back of my mind, there’s another project called Full Cup that was also begging for this question to be answered. If I couldn’t figure out a way to make more sense of this, it was impossible for me to put the work out to you. **It’s like I was showing only a single room of a much larger house and calling it the whole house.** *Story of You*, my narrative coaching methodology, is real, and I love it, and it works (and god willing, it will be a fabulous best-selling non-fiction book, soon). But it is not the whole of what I do. **To be more precise, it is one point of my triangle.** Excited, I started to ramble in my voice notes. If ORIENT is to take its space in my work, where does it sit vs Story of You? What do these things have in common? And bit by bit, the structure emerged. I had been circling around them for a long time, so it wasn’t like I had to go far. It was like peeling away one more layer. I looked at my notes and then decided to draw this quickly. There was my triangle, and keywords popped up. **Orient** — Being home in yourself and the world. Taking a 4D approach (body, mind, heart, soul), reclaiming our full selves and taking up space / strides in the world. Your sensations, your longings, your intuitions, your dreams. The practices that help you attune — contemplative, somatic, reflective — what the Buddhist traditions call *skillful means*. **Voice** — the discovery of your irreducible instrument. Tone. Uniqueness. Texture. Resonance. Musicality. Mastery. Artistry. Connecting tool. **Meaning** — the zoomed out view of where *Story of You* lives. The craft of taking all that orientation, all that discovered voice, and making it into something that can be felt, from within and without. A story that is true. A narrative that holds. Moreover, something we all have inside of us. **At the heart of the triangle, an eye that opens. (Don’t mind my drawing!) A new experience of seeing and feeling value.** ![](https://embed.filekitcdn.com/e/5GxVE38qSHxbPZ61DSVNor/kwaukTjM37WyNW2qWrJ51j/email) **The triangle is the territory I work in. The name (it felt like it needed one) comes from Sanskrit.** Mūlya (मूल्य) Worth, value, from mūla, which means root. So mūlya is literally root-worth. The value that comes from what is most fundamental in you. What you're worth at the root. For those of you who listen to the Mettā Interview on a regular basis, you’ll know that I love nothing more than to elicit an alive question from my guests. I think the question that my work answers is both : how do I help people find connection (in themselves, with others and with the natural world), but also how do I help people see the inherent value that lives within them. **At the top of my triangle, Orient contains the many tools and practices I’ve been gathering for years.** I’ve been ‘orienting’ hard for ten years now, ever since I noticed I was lost in what felt like the wrong life. **Voice touches my early years as a singer and musician,** what I learned or cared about when it comes to being on stage, of using and developing our own instrument, of appreciating the unique texture of the spoken and written voice. The tone I get to take on the page. The podcasts. Public speaking. The facilitation. The guiding meditation. **Meaning is what I’ve been trying to draw out of my own life and experience, what I’ve learned to ease into the world for others who find it hard to access.** Meaning that can take the shape of stories, narratives, values, and many other things. **Within the larger triangle, is a smaller one. The Story of You triangle. It exists between attunement, resonance and narrative, and in the middle is not an eye but a heart. I believe this methodology powers connection.** That’s my objective anyway. **And underneath all of it, a core belief.** ## **All that life asks of us is to be the most ourselves we can be.** I believe it’s what we are called to do, to experience. Not just be a cog in the machine. Not to stand above others. To be our most unique self. To express this uniqueness through our life, and our work, and our families, and our pursuits. I was thinking how everything I do and have done in terms of projects, content, work experience, and earlier passions even, can claim their space in this territory. Somehow, this got me thinking of a video game I used to love as a kid. **Do you remember Arkanoid? The ‘classic’ brick buster game.** I always found it so addictive. **Next thing you know, I built a moving diagram (with the help of Claude AI) with my double triangle, with a ball that bounces through the territory, lighting up whichever concept it passes through. Offers, practices, prior experiences, it all has its place. It also is visible. And by being visible, it informs the whole.** [​**Click the link**​](https://new-react-project-v946.bolt.host/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **to see it on your screen or click play below to see the snippet recording.** *(FYI the ball seems to be going a bit fast... attempting to fix the code)* So I’ve been deep into my own methodology, exploring the territory, the triangle, to make sure I could bring this new expression out with a satisfying sense of clarity, of full ownership. **I had NO idea it would get me to an Arkanoid-inspired triangle game. But I love it. I hope you do too.** As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, it’s all well and good that separated my coaching and brand strategy from Le Trente, but in building a new website, and working on Story of You, things moved internally, which I needed to make sense of. **That’s a big part of the work I do with others, because I know just how alive it feels when we can shift the outer expression along with the inner understanding.** Following this, expect a flurry (I may be exaggerating) of emails, some new offers, a couple of new live workshops (including some free offerings). I'd love to know: when was the last time you followed the pull of your energy and got pleasantly surprised by where it took you? Drop me a line, I'd love to hear from you. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### On process as practice, the price for the magic, and the surprise in the sprint URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/on-process-as-practice-the-price-for-the-magic-and-the-surprise-in-the-sprint/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:06:19.000Z Metta View Process Practice the price for the magic 0:00 /648.661333 1× Over the start of the weekend, I completed 9 hours of writing, with a couple of hours of research thrown in for good measure. My efforts were catalysed by the [London Writers’ Salon](https://0b00308b.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u6v97w7xhoh3zo24qu2hd0e4dg0t7ho7exq/l2hehmhl7ldwpksg/aHR0cHM6Ly9sb25kb253cml0ZXJzc2Fsb24uY29tLw==?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) yearly 24h Writing Around the World, a sprint which invited writers of all kinds to move the needle on a project they cared about, or perhaps even get to the finish line by the end of the sprint. The set up was simple: a five minute introduction to set our intention, then write alongside each other in silence for 45 minutes, followed by a 10 min break. At the top of the hour, we go again. The room doors re-open for those who weren't available earlier. Twenty-four times in total, going around the globe, as every hour of the day is 8am somewhere (the time LWS hosts their daily writing sessions, the Writer Hour). **I didn’t mean to spend so much time writing.** In all honesty, the dust bunnies that had appeared around the edges of my parquet floors in the latter part of the week more than hinted that I was overdue for a deep clean. I ignored the call. Sort of. Instead, sat my bum down and tackled a project that‘s been as stagnant as my metabolism of late. A book proposal. Aka a business plan for a book. The kind you send to agents and publishers. While my overall effort was consistent, I varied the settings. The first two hours were spent on my slate grey mid-century sofa, the spot where I read and write every morning, with the dog snoozing against my shin. At 11am, I settled myself in the sun trap that is my balcony with an iced coffee. A couple of years ago, I purchased a charpoy (an Indian day bed) nestled outside the French windows of my bedroom. This spot gets sunshine until about 2.30pm. I‘ve loved lying in the sun and reading since my teens. It's kind of like habit stacking. I love being in the sun. I love writing. So I'm now sitting in the sun writing. This works, though the dark shell of my iPad makes the process a little challenging at times. After lunch and a walk with the dog, an intentional stroll that led me to my local Italian deli for a homemade parmigiana and a bottle of Chianti Classico, I returned to position myself in the vintage velvet cloud chairs in my living room. My sprint became a surprising 9 non-consecutive hours, in three different settings. By the time we reached hour twenty-four it wasn't just me elated by the energy and the momentum we'd created. Nearly five hundred of us filled those Zoom tiles, page after page, thanking the kind folks at LWS. Beaming, I put away my screen, and went to turn on the oven for the parmigiana. ## THE SURPRISE IN THE SPRINT The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe This wasn't my first time participating in this online event. Despite a positive memory from last year's edition, I'm still taken aback by its resounding effects. **The rhythm set within the hourly container does something to me. It’s like an encouraging beat. Go go go. Stop. Take a breath. Start again. It's easier to commit and make progress when you're moving to a collective groove. \*** **And something invaluable happened in that virtual space.** **I forgot to worry about the quality of my writing.** The time compression meant that I did not shuffle virtual documents around to re-read earlier drafts. I *just* typed away. In so doing, I left the good girl, or good student habit behind. I forgot that I’m not a native English speaker. Ignored the limits of my English grammar. **I rode the wave, hour after hour, in a state of near flow.** This reminds me of an essay by [Jeremy Utley](https://www.jeremyutley.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), a professor at Stanford's d.school, about [how to turn off critical thinking](https://0b00308b.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u6v97w7xhoh3zo24qu2hd0e4dg0t7ho7exq/dpheh0hene2rx0hl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuamVyZW15dXRsZXkuY29tL2Jsb2cvdHVybi1vZmYtY3JpdGljYWwtdGhpbmtpbmc=?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) and how to get ourselves in flow states. *"…The most interesting part of the study was that creative flow wasn't just a function of what turns on. Creative flow has every bit as much to do with what turns off. *You know what part of the brain deactivates when you enter creative flow? The part responsible for judgment.* That's right: to enter into creative flow, you've got to turn off censorship, that critical part of your brain that says, '*[*That's a dumb idea*](https://0b00308b.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u6v97w7xhoh3zo24qu2hd0e4dg0t7ho7exq/x0hph6he0e4xmosg/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuamVyZW15dXRsZXkuZGVzaWduL2Jsb2cvaGF2ZS1sb3RzLW9mLWJhZC1pZGVhcw==?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)*.'"* In my case (and I can't speak for others), the pressure cooker of the 45-minute writing sessions, one after the other, somehow disabled the critical inner voice. I worked myself into a bit more of a frenzy by (and don't laugh) spending a few of the breaks between sessions vigorously hoovering the pollen and aforementioned dust bunnies from my floor. Something else happened that surprises me. **I didn’t use AI.** ​ Not until hour 6, that is, when I turned to some market research. Also, AI didn’t do the research. It's embarrassing how good I am at research, AI has nothing on me. I hand over my findings for supplementary thoughts, but it’s not invited to take the wheel. I found heaps of great stuff, and Claude, my dutiful assistant, formatted and collated the stuff into organised notes, a virtuous and helpful role, creating order where I normally leave a chaotic trail of new leads. ​ **So what's special about not using AI?** For many who produce a lot of regular content, writing or otherwise, it's likely that like me you've been in relationship with ChatGPT, Claude or other LLM for a few months, maybe longer. Quickly, just like we did with many tools, we’ve become accustomed to having AI do the work (offering a first draft), or check the work (and letting it do edits). **Essentially, many have been delegating the creative process to the machines.** It's absolutely understandable. There is a near magical quality in witnessing this non-human entity deliver pages in mere seconds. There's the 'time back' effect. Because at first, it looks like AI will be a fabulous time saver. At first. We save time, but we lose something in exchange. **Isn't that what the fairytales always told us? There's a price we pay for the use of the magic.** We feed the machines what we have. Some of us push much of their work to AI, and just use the results that are the LLM's spit back out. Others, like me, enjoy a back and forth, a refining process. It's been fun. Like with many other relationships, the honeymoon period is over, at least for me (a year and half, it was about time). The words that have been streaming out of the chatbot start to look like the same day in, day out. **Just as there are expressions that we default to in daily language, the machines also repeat themselves. They don't notice. I do. And not only when it's commenting on my work.** This week, I’ve come across two pieces of content, one essay and one email, by a literary agent and one Substack superwriter, that were obviously (co-)written by Claude. I can tell by its overuse of the word 'quiet'. Also by the structure of the first paragraphs. And while the words read well, they feel empty of meaning. This reminded me of the work of etymologist Adam Aleksic who delivered a TED talk at TEDNext 2025, called [*Why are people starting to sound like ChatGPT?*](https://0b00308b.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u6v97w7xhoh3zo24qu2hd0e4dg0t7ho7exq/25h2hoh3w3qnxps8/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGVkLmNvbS90YWxrcy9hZGFtX2FsZWtzaWNfd2h5X2FyZV9wZW9wbGVfc3RhcnRpbmdfdG9fc291bmRfbGlrZV9jaGF0Z3B0?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)​ I don’t have a fancy AI tool to analyse these texts, but I read enough quality writing to notice the pattern myself. My heart sinks when I recognise the word choices. **I'm grateful for the good things technology brings, I am. Content creation is challenging. Writing and creating remain a complicated if essential human pursuit. It's also a deeply satisfying source of meaning, if we give into it.** Let's encourage each other to do the hard work ourselves. This coming May, I'll be offering a new workshop on cultivating the conditions for creativity, by filling our cup, with mindfulness, somatic and other tools. It's not designed as an antidote to AI, or to this era. It's 'just' for the non-machine types, those made of flesh and blood, who need another kind of juice, rather than electrical current, to come up with their best work. **It so happens that the things we do to nourish ourselves, metaphorically and otherwise, when they are good for us (aka not junk or frankenfoods** [**per that earlier article**](https://0b00308b.click.kit-mail3.com/r8u6v97w7xhoh3zo24qu2hd0e4dg0t7ho7exq/9qhzhnhdrden8efz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW5uZXZtdWhsZXRoYWxlci5jb20vZWF0LXlvdXItZ3JlZW5zLw==?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**), they also feed that deep well of creativity. My hope is that it will increase our capacity to draw from that well.** \* *This reminds me of the Pomodoro method, named after the kitchen timer shaped like a ripe tomato. Twenty-five minutes of work, five minutes of rest. I may just give that another try myself.* ## Sign up for Anne V Mühlethaler Anne V Mühlethaler is a narrative coach, brand strategist, writer, and podcaster. She is building Le Trente, a social learning studio, hosts salons, teaches mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation. Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. ### Eat your greens URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/eat-your-greens/ Last updated: 2026-07-26T18:44:24.000Z The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe Over the winter, I had a late night conversation with a friend who lives abroad. Toward the end of our chat, she shared something intriguing and heart-warming about this newsletter. She said (and I paraphrase): **"The thing about your newsletter is that it takes time to read, so I can't just glance at it. I need to be in the right headspace. And it's like... it's good for me. I know it's good for me when I read it. Kind of like when you eat clean food."** Her words trailed off, as she looked for the right analogy to land her point. A wide smile started to form on my face, which of course, she couldn't see. Her compliment reached me. I didn't deflect it. It was meeting me at my intention-level: wanting to produce and share thoughtful, even useful, writing. Her reaching for a metaphor became a gift in itself. Personal essays, the kind I share here regularly, have an arc to them. They are meant to be more than a story, just as they are meant to bring you to a reflection. **Translating her words, I think she was telling me: your writing makes me think, the kind of thinking that I know is good for me.** And then I thought: that may be the best description of The Mettā View anyone has ever given. Better than anything I've written on a landing page. Certainly honoring my intention. Making the analogy that much sweeter, I should tell you I'm big on my actual greens. I've followed a mostly plant-based diet since 2015, first for health-reasons (to help me manage an auto-immune disease, and it's working brilliantly) and eventually, by taste. I love to dress up my vegetables in fancy ways, and at the heart of me throwing events at my home was a desire to titillate my guest's brains as much as their palates when they attend one of my salons. So the greens analogy fits the bill — and yet I'd been a little coy about claiming it. Until today. **But earlier this afternoon, a computer science professor at Georgetown's analogy about what not to feed our brains helped me land mine with a satisfying thud.** [Cal Newport,](https://calnewport.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) the famed author of “Deep Work” among other bestselling titles, has penned an op-ed for the New York Times. And what a piece it is: ["There’s a Good Reason You Can’t Concentrate"](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/27/opinion/technology-mental-fitness-cognitive.html?unlocked%5Farticle%5Fcode=1.W1A.oSsQ.o28OBALZT0av&smid=url-share&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **Newport frames our current attention crisis by taking us back to a time before the current and widely accepted guidelines to eat healthy and exercise. Citing** [**research**](https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/attention-spans?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**, he explains that our attention spans are only one-third as long as what they used to be in the early 2000'**s. [Have we reached peak human brain power?](https://giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/actions/redeem/daa4fa16-a64e-4316-bbb0-3321bd3a0dce?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) It's notable that productivity growth stagnated since the 2010's, and I'm sure you can see why. Overwhelm, exhaustion, busy work. General dissatisfaction. And yet we stare at our screens, stroking the fetish as I once heard Esther Perel refer to our phones. And when we let them go, they ping us back, a relentless loop keeping us in tamagochi-feeding mode. As if our devices needed us. But there's more than output that decreases with us unable to concentrate. **Earlier this week, I felt it myself, that thinking-through-sludge sensation, unsatisfying and dense (and yes, I'm aware that peri-menopause is probably not helping).** I'm sure you know what I'm referring to. The analogy with health and exercise suddenly feels very sharp: here I am, pushing my inner cogs to turn, an exercise in willpower not unlike what you'd see me push myself to at the gym after a giant meal. The challenge is real. Newport offers: > ***"Thinking is what lets us make sense of information in a complicated world", and later: "Thinking is also an engine for making sense of our lives and cultivating our moral imaginations."*** Here's something that reframed how I think about my own mind, discovered in the pages of the book From Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks: psychologists distinguish between two types of intelligence. Fluid intelligence, the ability to process new information quickly, hold things in working memory, solve novel problems, peaks in our mid-twenties and gradually declines from there. Crystallised intelligence, think accumulated knowledge, judgment, wisdom, the ability to see patterns across a lifetime of experience, which grows well into mid-life and beyond. **We're not getting stupider as we age. We're getting different. Deeper, arguably.** But here's what worries me, and this is my own interpretation, not Newport's: the cognition crisis isn't only eroding our fluid intelligence. If we can no longer concentrate long enough to read, reflect, and connect ideas, then even our crystallised intelligence starts to thin. We stop making meaning. We may lose the ability to pull the threads that nourish our inner lives, and when that goes, so does our capacity for deep connection, with ourselves and with others*.* Current technologies are conspiring to weaken our attention first, making it harder to invest ourselves into any kind of deep thinking. **Newport goes further: he argues that social media and email had already weakened our capacity to think before generative AI arrived, and that the more we use AI to avoid mentally demanding tasks, the more our cognitive fitness degrades.** We are creating the conditions to become lesser than the machines, if we don't reclaim our brain power. But It's not all doom and gloom. The cognition crisis could be overturned. **Newport reminds us of the strides made around health and fitness in the past fifty years. Using a similar approach, limiting whatever diminishes our cognitive fitness, and committing to tasks that support our thinking (like reading, writing our own emails (!) and not outsourcing our creative work to AI, could overturn the current trend.** **What if we fed ourselves what our brains need, instead of digital Frankenfoods?** > ***"What is a TikTok video if not a digital Dorito?" he asks.*** As I heard this (I was throwing the ball at my dog while listening to the article), I emitted a little yelp and I may have started clapping. YES!! That's right. **We need to remove the digital Frankenfoods from our diets, eat our greens and exercise our big beautiful brains. Before they start to atrophy.** Next time you grab your phone to open TikTok or Instagram, think of the worst kind of processed food you can come up with, the kind that makes you feel terrible afterward. Let this remind you about how you nourish yourself, in what ratio; what makes you happy, makes you feel good. Consider, as I am learning to do, putting the same amount of care in what you feed your mind as what you do to nourish and look after your body. So I'm adopting the term. Officially. This newsletter is your greens. 🥬 You won't always be in the mood. You might need to save it for later. But when you sit down with it, I hope you'll feel better after. Thanks for being here, and if you ever want to tell me what The Mettā View is like for *you*, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you. Warmly, Anne *P.S. If you know someone who could use more greens in their diet, forward this their way.* 🥬 --- A note on links: much of what I share comes from publishers who operate behind a paywall. Some, like the New York Times and the Financial Times, make it relatively easy for subscribers to share a handful of articles — others less so. I'll always do my best to provide free access. Where I can't, I'll look for an alternative, like the short clips many newspapers now share on social media. The Cal Newport article is indeed available as a gift [via this link](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/27/opinion/technology-mental-fitness-cognitive.html?unlocked%5Farticle%5Fcode=1.W1A.oSsQ.o28OBALZT0av&smid=url-share&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). ### Root to rise URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/root-to-rise/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:07:23.000Z *Tending To Our Roots* *Much like plants, we all need room to root and grow* I left it a bit late, but I did it. Last year, I got a couple of small jasmine plants, with the hope that they’d become thriving additions to my balcony-garden. I just love the smell of these relatively unassuming white flowers. My love for their scent is closely matched by my fondness for that of roses, but I find that jasmine has a headyness to it that has the power to transport me to another time and place. At the time of purchasing the plants, I made a rookie mistake: I got decorative pots, ones that don’t offer drainage (which matters because overwatering is a thing…). We had a garden when I was a kid. It wasn’t big but it was lovely. We had shrubs, herbs, multi-colored climbing roses which draped across the small lot over the fence, and a giant and slim birch tree, which I like to think didn’t just overlook but protected the lilac below it. My parents weren’t keen gardeners, but they showed me what they knew. So now would be a good time to say that while I enjoy gardening, I don’t really know what I am doing with potted plants. However I have good intentions, I wish them well, and my plants seem to do okay. Most of them, most of the time. My jasmines were a bit annoyed to be taken out of the plastic container they had become accustomed to in the past months. There weren’t many options for growth for them there. But we get used to our environments, right? Not thriving, but surviving. Their tiny roots had started to extend through the holes, at the bottom of the pot, seeking something to root themselves into. It was time, that Spring, to uproot them and give the jasmines a new home. At last I had made the trip to buy organic potting soil, a large glazed terracotta pot, even some clay beads to help air the soil to promote root development and help drainage in their new digs (thanks, Google). Finally, I got ready to extract the jasmine out of its snug, if inappropriate home. Gently, firmly, I pressed the rigid exterior of the pot to wiggle out the thankfully lightweight plant. Patience, I repeated to myself. Don’t go too fast, don’t pull too hard. I felt frustration mounting. ‘It’s not going to work,’ I said to myself. So I delicately attempted to separate the external tangle of tiny off-white coloured filaments, so they too could come out the other end, not too damaged. ‘Yikes, I feel like I’m hurting you,’ I kept thinking, looking at the shrub. By then, it was horizontal in the air, my right hand trying to pull it out, the left squeezing as best I could the black shell surrounding it, hoping to ease (and expedite) the process. **I talked to them throughout: ‘I know, it’s not great, but it’s only going to be unpleasant for a bit. Look where you are going, you’ll see it’s going to feel a lot better soon. I’m sorry, I hope this isn’t too bad.’** I heard it’s good to talk to plants, which I hope is true because I’m doing it anyway. My cat Fifi was easily jealous of my favorite, a cluster of Agapanthus (also known as African Lily, or Lily of the Nile) which lives on my big south-west balcony. I guess it was the tone I used when I talked while watering them. She would come out and size up the competition, make her presence felt, and leave reassured, if perplexed, with a loud meow. I managed to finally pull out the plant, relatively unharmed, but I felt bad. Despite my intentions, rather inevitably, roots were torn. **Since then, the plants have been carefully, patiently (according to me) repotted, watered, and have even been dosed with a good sprinkling of a high quality, organic fertiliser. My work is done. Or rather, that bit is done.** Fast forward to the next day, when I woke up thinking of roots. I don’t know if it was because of the jasmine or because of something else. Later I was practicing yoga, my mat facing the TV where I was streaming the class on Zoom, a gift of technology given that my teacher Annie Carpenter, is based both an ocean and a whole continent away. **During the sun salutations, she often invites her class to *‘root to rise’*: ‘Ground into the feet, flat back, come up with arms wide, and release in ‘tadasana,’ mountain pose.’** **Root to rise.** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/image.png) A whiff of feelings about the current war in Ukraine came up. So many people are being uprooted from their land, their homes, with so much violence. And this is true of so many others, in various regions of the world. The very visible war (if you are in Europe, like I am) shows the Ukrainians not only deeply rooted but also rising strong, as a people, to defend themselves, their country, their loved ones. **I stood on my mat, and I looked out to the park below my apartment, the city’s roofs, to the mountains beyond. How about my own roots?** ## Examining our roots I uprooted myself, and it was 100% my doing – my family didn’t approve or support my move abroad. It’s no wonder why I left, though. I never felt like I belonged in my environment. Despite the mountain peaks around, to me it felt confining, perhaps not unlike the tight rigid container the jasmine had been sold to me in. It was always meant to be a temporary situation for the plant, and I guess that was the same for me. ‘Thank you for housing me for this long, I must find the right ground for me to expand now,’ is kind of what was going on in my mind as I said goodby to Geneva and set off to London. When the subject of attachment to one’s origins came up, whether in conversation with friends, or later when studying the chakras, I felt bad. So many people around me seemed to feel attachment to where they come from. Me, not so much. During my first yoga teacher training in 2019, the instructor, a very experienced and excellent teacher, explained at length how and why when we are not well rooted—in life, or in our base chakra, the muladhara (meaning ‘root’ in Sanskrit)—how disconnect or disjointed we may feel, and how that throws everything else out of whack. **Some of the symptoms of a blocked or malfunctioning muladhara included a list of ailments, a few of which, like lax ankles, I’ve suffered from for a large part of my life.** I felt my eyes widen as I listened to all the things that may be wrong with me, and noticed (or was I imagining it?) the teacher rolling her eyes at me, like ‘duh, did you not know this was going on?’ There may have been tears shortly after, but then again, the teacher training was intense and pretty much everyone in the small group ended up feeling emotional in the process. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ I kept thinking: ‘Why don’t I feel connected to this part of me, to my origins? Is this lack of belonging potentially making me unbalanced? Do I need to feel, to nurture, a stronger link to these roots?’ After the initial moment that the ‘oh no, I’m weird’ popped up, I scanned my mind, my body and concluded that no, actually I don’t feel particularly out of balance or lacking in that way. What’s my deal then? Images of great big majestic trees came to my mind, with their strong, partly visible powerful roots, disappearing deep into the ground, attaching them to the land they live in, connecting them to each other in ways we cannot see. ‘Yep, that’s not me.’ Then another picture showed up on the screen of my mind, leading me to develop another theory that felt like it could explain me, my relationship to my origins, my world traveller spirit and how I have come to find balance. ## Roots that change and adapt over time Like many others, even you, perhaps, who are reading me, I always felt ‘different’. I felt like I stuck out at school, but bore with it, only to find myself uninspired when I got to university. I had this sense that there was something else, somewhere, that was awaiting me. This sense of not belonging, instead of plaguing me and making me retreat in myself (although I am known to do that on occasion), led me to boldly go seek out where I could feel more at home. First, I found that I belonged on stage. I became an aspiring singer, in quest of a music career, which started in Geneva. Yet there too, wasn’t quite right. The first time I decided to uproot myself, it happened after a rather romantic evening when, leaning on the window of my studio balcony, I looked into the night’s sky and asked the universe for signs. I had just finished my first demo and I had a full on baby blues. ‘So that’s done and now what, what am I meant to do with this thing?’ The signs came hard and fast, three within less than a week, and they all pointed me in a very specific direction: London. A city, which I must say, I had absolutely no interest in. I was dreaming of New York, you see. But off I went. There, I found I really did fit in, and put down some roots (I did stay for 13 years). Later, I found other places too, but none were the village where I grew up, the country I was born in, or in the kind of career my parents had wished for me. After London there was New York, Paris, then Rome (though that last one, only part-time). I wasn’t a good match for Paris, and it was shocking how immediately I felt it. Sadly, I only became aware of that fact after having moved all my belongings to the French capital. Those two years I spent there were long and hard. I felt like I was suffocating, dying off – confined and isolated – and in many ways that was true. While I didn’t realise it for a while, I was near burnout. After all the moving, all the travelling, today, surprise surprise, I am back home, where I’ve come from, or a few kilometres away. And it turns out that, now, I do belong here. It’s through the travels, my friendships and experiences that I found myself. Of course, I do believe that our external environment plays a part in who we are and how we develop and yes, I’d be a very different person had I remained and tried to find myself by staying in the same place. I can’t say whether I’ll stay for very long, though I’d be happy to. My personal expansion no longer needs so much seeing of the world, my development now is more of an internal process. Knowing that, I realised that my lack of feeling connected to my origins is okay. Other people are very grounded in their land and family and traditions, and that’s good. We’re simply not all the same. **You see, if I were a tree, I wouldn’t be a chestnut, a tall pine, a birch or a weeping willow. Or even a jasmine (though I kind of wish!).** **No, if I were a tree, I’d be a red mangrove.** ![Picture of fish swimming in shallow waters around a mangrove tree](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/image-1.png) Image courtesy of the Mangrove Action Project Years ago I had the wonderful experience of being taken t*o float in a mangrove river,* in a protected biosphere south of Tulum, on the eastern coast of the Yucatán Peninsula in Mexico. Have you ever seen a mangrove? You may have seen images and not known what it was called. One thing is for sure: it’s quite magical. I was on my first yoga retreat in 2008 or 2009, when Tulum was still a hippie spot, not the fancy luxury resort it has turned into. I’d never been to Mexico before and I was on my own so of course, when an excursion was offered by the hotel to discover the local flora and fauna, I jumped at the chance to go explore. The small group of tourists – it was just four of us – were taken to a trail through a protected biosphere, a lush tropical forest which extends all the way down into Belize, along the Yucatán coast line. After a walk amongst the exotic vegetation, we were offered a light lunch, and hopped on a boat to traverse a brackish water lake. The air felt completely still, the surface of the water like a mirror, and we admired the birds, though there weren’t so many (it was mid-November). The atmosphere was eerie and quiet. Finally, our guide dropped at the top of this light turquoise canal, a natural waterway, a couple of metres or more wide. **All wearing safety jackets, we were told to just relax back, literally. The goal? To float and let ourselves discover this ancient Mayan waterway, simply by being pulled by the current towards the sea. The labyrinth of natural mangrove canals and lagoons were used back then as a trade route.** All there was for us to do was to be, to observe, to enjoy, immersed that we were in the crystal clear waters. Forming the borders, making up the banks of these natural canals are endless mangrove trees. It was the most awe-inspiring, contemplative experience I remember having in my life. And I can see it in my mind like it was yesterday. The colour of the water, the sky, the very pale sand below and the unending tangle of roots, branches and leaves, mangroves as far as the eye could see. At the time, I didn’t even question how these trees could thrive in this environment. Because unlike most other species that cannot stand salt water, this extraordinary tree has developed multiple strategies to cope with, or release, the extra salt. **Mangroves, I was amazed to discover, have multitasking aerial roots that arch high over the water and can branch and loop off the trunk and lower branches.** **For some of them, their aerial roots broaden at the base of the tree, and as I’ve read they, ‘like flying buttresses on mediaeval cathedrals, stabilise the shallow root system in the soft loose soil.’** Aerial roots provide oxygen. How clever is that tree? I also have my metaphorical flying buttresses: they are my connection to other places, to wonderful friends who are disseminated around the world, from LA to Miami and New York, to Mexico City, to London, to Paris, to Rome and all the way down under. I wasn’t made in just one place. ## Honouring the foundations of our roots Not long ago, when things got really hard (I’m thinking of the first, second and further lockdowns most of us experienced), I didn’t have the strong support of local ties. I am so unbelievably grateful for technology, because my wonderful, amazing non-biological family – my friends & I – were always connected, and I believe that at different times, this helped us in turn hold each other’s heads, or aerial roots, above water, even when everything around us felt so overwhelming. So for me, and for many of us, who leave home in search of a place we belong to, I say we’re probably a bit mangrove-like. You see, mangrove trees also have a unique way to reproduce: their seed pods are allowed to germinate on the tree and, when they are ready, they let go and drop into the water below. But the magic doesn’t end there. If for any reason they drop during high tide, the little pods can float and take root later when they find a solid place to ground. And it turns out, as beautifully explained [in an article by the American Museum of Natural History](https://www.amnh.org/explore/videos/biodiversity/mangroves-the-roots-of-the-sea/what-is-a-mangrove?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), that mangroves are the original world-travelling tree: > “Botanists believe that mangroves originated in Southeast Asia, but ocean currents have since dispersed them to India, Africa, Australia, and the Americas. As Alfredo Quarto, the head of the Mangrove Action Project, puts it, “Over the millions of years since they’ve been in existence, mangroves have essentially set up shop around the world.” The fruits, seeds, and seedlings of all mangrove plants can float, and they have been known to bob along for more than a year before taking root. \[…\] Within 10 years, as those roots spread and sprout, a single seedling can give rise to an entire thicket. It’s not just trees but the land itself that increases. Mud collects around the tangled mangrove roots, and shallow mudflats build up. From the journey of a single seed a rich ecosystem may be born.” ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/46/b9/46b9655c-e280-4d0c-aeea-3d6dbaba41eb/content/images/2026/03/image-2.png) Mangrove trees **Thinking of the intricate nature of their evolution, how mangroves thrive in seemingly inhospitable environments, I feel a kinship with them.** **In the tangle of their branches and roots, their travelling seeds, the refuge they become for other life forms that surround them, mangroves remind me of what I am – what we are capable of becoming, even when we’ve bobbed along in the world for a while. These trees reveal what’s possible when the time comes, when we stop, choose a spot and set ourselves up for a different kind of voyage.** Occasionally, I have vivid dreams of crystal clear waters, and as I was looking for images of mangrove trees to illustrate my story, I suddenly remembered a recurring dream, where I find myself swimming around the coastline of a beautiful island, bordered with these emerald trees. The familiar tangle of roots and foliage I now recognise. Then I recall the cue from my yoga teacher: ‘Root to rise!’ Push down into the feet, as you rise, spreading your arms wide, and come all the way up to a standing position. Close your eyes. Feel your connection to the ground. Root to rise. **Who knows what will come next. After all: *‘From the journey of a single seed, a rich ecosystem may be born…’*** --- This post was originally published on [OutoftheClouds.com](https://outoftheclouds.com/out-of-the-clouds-writing/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### The strange business model that makes perfect sense URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/the-strange-business-model-that-makes-perfect-sense/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:07:39.000Z Some of my friends have found my business model a little strange. Podcasting at the heart of it? Really? But for me, it makes perfect sense. ​[Out of the Clouds](https://0b00308b.click.convertkit-mail2.com/38ul6d353gbkh2xdoxdtrh4qd8onns7hx7pzn/owhkhqhw507zxkbq/aHR0cHM6Ly9vdXRvZnRoZWNsb3Vkcy5jb20vdGhlLXBvZGNhc3Qv?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) my long-form interview podcast, started in 2020\. Not a pandemic baby exactly, but a project I'd always meant to begin that year. **I was so excited at the purchase of my podcasting mic that I took it on holidays with me to Thailand in December 2019\. True story.** It’s thanks to a handful of generous podcasters (Tim Ferriss, Debbie Millman, James Altucher) that I first dove into deep conversations that opened new doors and perspectives, at a time when I desperately needed something new. When I started my own, I knew I wanted to go long-form and I knew I wanted deep conversations. What I did not expect was that each episode would feel like I'd taken a *masterclass* with my guests. As a result, I was changed by every single one of them. A couple of years in, I noticed something was missing. After these transformative conversations, I wanted to *talk about them* with other people. But while I had listeners, they weren't sitting next to me. I was missing real live people to chat to about these new perspectives and all my a-ha moments. **That's how the salons started. I often describe the salon as an in-person podcast experience, just with nice people and (great) food (cooked by my fair hands). And from the salons, Le Trente was born.** **Le Trente is what I call a social learning studio. Part social club, but with learning at its heart. *And story is how we learn without explanation.*** **That's *why* podcasting remains central - not just to the marketing of Le Trente, but to the whole philosophy.** **Sooo, here's what's on offer, audio-wise:** **Out of the Clouds** \- long-form interviews at the crossroads between business and mindfulness, exploring the stories that shape how we live and work. Five years of conversations with remarkable humans. [DISCOVER HERE](https://0b00308b.click.convertkit-mail2.com/38ul6d353gbkh2xdoxdtrh4qd8onns7hx7pzn/owhkhqhw507zxkbq/aHR0cHM6Ly9vdXRvZnRoZWNsb3Vkcy5jb20vdGhlLXBvZGNhc3Qv?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)​ Listen to our latest episode with [The Fertility Class](https://0b00308b.click.convertkit-mail2.com/38ul6d353gbkh2xdoxdtrh4qd8onns7hx7pzn/z2hghnhe0m8g5kuz/aHR0cHM6Ly9teWNsYXNzLnRoZWZlcnRpbGl0eWNsYXNzLmNvbS9hLzIxNDgwODgyNTgvcllWOEZRZjQ=?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) co-founder Zsofia Jamieson on becoming your own health advocate, building a beautiful venture from the inside out, and building The Fertility Class. **The Metta Interview** \- generous conversations with brilliant friends. Each episode gathers around a question that feels alive for my guest. Less about showcasing expertise, more about meeting in genuine curiosity. [LISTEN HERE](https://0b00308b.click.convertkit-mail2.com/38ul6d353gbkh2xdoxdtrh4qd8onns7hx7pzn/x0hph6hex4lgkdfg/aHR0cHM6Ly9sZXRyZW50ZS5jb20vdGhlLW1ldHRhLWludGVydmlldw==?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)​ **The Metta View Essays** (not all but many of them) also exist as audio at [TheMettaView.com](https://0b00308b.click.convertkit-mail2.com/38ul6d353gbkh2xdoxdtrh4qd8onns7hx7pzn/g3hnh5hmx0kvg6u3/aHR0cHM6Ly9sZXRyZW50ZS5jb20vbWV0dGEtdmlldw==?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) \- for those who prefer to listen. **I know we're all busy. *And* I know that some podcasts have changed my life, just as meditation has.** So while I believe live is juicy - and I love to gather people in real time - audio is another way in. Listen while you walk, while you cook, while you commute. Let these conversations find you where you are. And if any of what you hear sparks something, consider it an invitation to go deeper. Join a live session, come to a salon, explore a masterclass. The conversations don't have to end when the episode does. --- This post was originally shared at [theMettaView.com](https://letrente.com/metta-view/looking-forward/the-strange-business-model-that-makes-perfect-sense?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### We Need a New Word URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/we-need-a-new-word-2/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:07:52.000Z ## Intention, mindfulness and the future of communication “Words have a magical power. They can either bring the greatest happiness or the deepest despair.” Sigmund Freud **Can you think of a bad experience in a one-on-one feedback session with your boss? Perhaps a difficult annual review?** Raise your hand if that’s the case. Now can you think of a time when you felt you outdid yourself? When you were eloquent, spoke from the heart, were professional, and when you were met with respect and attention from the other side? **What is the common thread between both situations? Well, both times you were communicating with another human being.** Wouldn’t you want more of the second experience, if you had the choice? Which begs the question: **Why are we not taught how to communicate?** **Not debate, persuade or influence, no, just communicate with others?** Yet I believe it’s one of the most crucial skills we can learn and the key to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. Just imagine what the world would look like if everyone felt heard and listened to, and could express their feelings and needs. Sadly, this was not what I experienced growing up. When I was about 11 years old, my mother became deeply depressed. She even tried to take her own life on several occasions. She survived and got better later on, but for a while, our family had to learn to communicate with someone who was passive-aggressive, occasionally verbally abusive and generally not in her right mind: on top of it all, she was mixing gin with her antidepressants. I learned to walk on eggshells near her because my emotions and reactions were potential triggers. I developed a crisis response mode: retreat, observe from a safe(r) vantage point, and then, only if I deemed I had the appropriate response, would I speak or act. My mother also encouraged me to ‘shush darling shush’. An enthusiastic introvert, with a passionate personality, my way of expressing myself was just too much for her as she made it clear on many occasions. So I held back. Or at least I tried to. As a result, later on, many of my friends saw me as the diplomatic type. Very Swiss may I add. It would take a lot for me to react to certain situations, but this came to bite me later in my career. Which brings me back to that negative annual review. I can think of this one time, one bad meeting, after delivering a big project. My supervisor had essentially put me back in my place, giving me terrible, almost provocative feedback, which didn’t tie in with my daily experience of working together. All of that in writing. I didn’t say anything. I waited for our next one-on-one, which was just coming up. My boss, a slim woman in her late thirties, who always sported a sharp blond bob, invited me into her office with a cordial, warm welcome. There was something behind her piercing green eyes, I couldn’t quite make it out. So we talked about the feedback. And to my surprise, she announced that she’d chosen to deliver this in order to get a reaction out of me. She kept on talking, but puzzled, I froze, not knowing what to say. And she went on, and on, about other things. **Meanwhile, the cogs were turning. She was trying to push me, but what for? She never made that clear, and in retrospect, I wish I’d asked:** ***What was your intention?*** I walked out of the meeting, still confused. She was essentially trying to provoke me enough to make me speak up, or erupt? But something felt off. I may be cautious, but I’m not a wallflower. I now know that one of the reasons I didn’t say anything before the meeting, or even then, is simply because I didn’t feel safe in that professional relationship. Not on a cognitive level however. But a part of me knew. *Some of us (maybe a lot of us?) need to feel a sense of security to expose ourselves and speak from the heart.* It felt like a trap and, as accustomed as I was to walking on eggshells around difficult situations, I didn’t fall for it. From the outside, I had looked passive to her, but I’d been using my tried and tested method: proceed with caution, retreat, observe, and gather the facts before I act. **As my tennis teacher Virginia told me a couple of years ago, *action follows intention.*** My boss’s communication style was aggressive, and her intention was informed by her management style. Art of war kind of stuff, divide and conquer, destabilise your executives to keep them in check, and keep your power intact. On a couple of occasions, colleagues of mine, experienced executives, called me in floods of tears as a result of such tactics. That day, trust was broken. From the outside our relationship was fine; after all, I walked out with a raise and a bonus, but something was wrong, and I left that office thinking: we could do so much better. Both of us. I was holding off from speaking my mind, and she was not being honest about her intention. She didn’t want good things for me. And the nature of our intention defines the quality of our relationships. Whether we are aware of our intentions or not. On the few occasions I didn’t pause before speaking, just as my boss had wanted me to, when I did lash out – when I was unclear about my intentions (possibly not wanting good things for the other person) – I deeply damaged the relationships in question. When I didn’t consider why I was speaking out, it felt like I was wielding a sword that had a power of its own, or rather that I was ‘letting’ the damage be done. Words can be as beautiful as flowers, as the late Thich Nhat Hanh offered, but as Pearl Strachan Hurd said, > *“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.”* This event acted as a catalyst for me. I left that office, and later that job, with the conviction that I would work towards better communication, creating an environment where myself and my new team would feel safer, safe enough to express ourselves without fearing repercussions, away from playing games. **Luckily I became a meditation student.** **From daily mindfulness and loving-kindness practice, over the course of a few months my life changed so much for the better that I felt a calling to certify as a teacher!** Over time, I learned to develop that sense of connection to my intention, to cultivate presence, so I could be more fully in the moment with others, instead of being wrapped up in my stories, thoughts or emotions. **Gradually, I became less judgmental, and kinder to myself; as a result I became kinder to others, more compassionate and empathetic.** The values that I found in secular mindfulness, and in the dharma, the Buddhist teachings, matched mine much more closely than anything I’d experienced in most workplaces I’d come across. Then I discovered the work of [Marshall Rosenberg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall%5FRosenberg?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) and [Non-Violent Communication](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent%5FCommunication?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), also known as NVC, a method that is meant to help us increase empathy, lessen judgement and improve our communication. It felt like a revelation. Today I stand here: a student and practitioner, a teacher and coach, who works with mindful communication. **I’m a fellow traveller; I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out, but I’ve got some tools in my toolkit that come in handy to be heard by others, to listen better. Let’s be honest, I’m continuously learning! And it’s both my failures and successes in my own communication that empower me to talk about this topic.** If you wonder who I am doing this for, and why I’m telling you about it, of course, it’s for you, for me, for everyone who may be touched by this work. But at the back of my mind, or rather in my heart, I’m doing this for 11 year-old-me. And 17 year-old-me, and 27 year-old-me, etc. you get the gist. *If I could have my way, you’d find mindful communication practice in the curriculum of every school, every high school and university worldwide.* And you’d also find it at work, in every office, everywhere. I just wish we had a better word for it. Better than *‘we need to talk.’* And better than *‘mindful communication.’* I think we do need a new word. A word that tells the story of being respected, of holding space, of feeling safe to express ourselves and a word that reminds us to deeply listen to each other. “Words are not in the power of men; men are in the power of words,” said Herman Bahr We have a choice, and I’d say we have a mission. If we put our heads together, and if we find that powerful new word, perhaps we’ll finally build the culture that we all deserve. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### The most important part of your story (is probably the part you're leaving out) URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/the-most-important-part-of-your-story-is-probably-the-part-youre-leaving-out/ Last updated: 2026-07-26T18:44:43.000Z The most important part of your story is probably the part youre leaving out 0:00 /1457.095623 1× ## You've edited your story. You probably don't even know you've done it. And the part you cut? That's likely the part people most need to hear. Let me elaborate. ## James came to me cold after hearing me speak on a podcast interview. We hopped on a call. He was cheerful, a tad nervous, and by all accounts delighted to be talking to me. He shared a vision of the business he was building and painted a clear picture, which included a tested methodology, a core offer neatly laid out, early client testimonials. An expert in his field, passionate, insightful, and design-savvy, he was both in a good place and he also knew something was missing for this business to come to life. James (totally my kind of client) wanted to jump into the work asap, despite being in the middle of moving house. The man wanted traction. I drew up a scope of work and we started working together 10 days later, for an intensive stretch, twice a week on Zoom, for two months. He entrusted me to move him from the foundations all the way through to launch strategy, including digging into customer vision, core values, social strategy, etc. Comprehensive, to say the least. But here's what happened in our first deep dive into his story (our second or third session) he mentioned out of the blue that he used to lecture at university. I almost fell off my chair. Not the kind of stuff you want to keep out of your bio, even when you have pivoted in your career. Seems awfully logical, right? Yet many of us, especially experts building new businesses, shifting in our career or how we present to the world, have this surprising tendency to bury gold nuggets of our past. Even though these elements scream the word expertise. Even though they hold the key to faster trust and authority, two markers supporting business growth. **This is especially true if you're building something where *you* are the brand. Founders, coaches, consultants, change makers, people whose authority lives in their story, not a logo. In a world where we increasingly buy from people rather than companies, what you choose to include (or leave out) of your narrative has never mattered more.** At the end of our work together, James spontaneously emailed to thank me, including this line, which resonates with me still: > *"Working with you has changed my life. You have given me my story — how precious is that?"* The email came on my late father's birthday last August. I shared it with my brother, who I was enjoying an alfresco lunch with, at the terrace of the Auberge de Gy, where I grew up. *Aww. Good work, Nanie, he said to me* (Nanie's my nickname). --- Now if you think James was simply forgetful, too humble, or unique in making this kind of edit to his career narrative, you'd be very wrong. And it's not about forgetfulness or humility at all. It goes far deeper than that. Identity, as authors Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy define it in their book *10x is Easier than 2x*, is fundamentally two things: the story and narrative you hold for yourself, and the standards and commitments you hold for yourself. When we evolve, grow, and set new standards for who we are, the old story can become psychologically incompatible with the person we now believe ourselves to be. The unconscious isn't being careless. It's being protective of the new construct. It's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. Which means this matter of career editing cannot be solved by simply trying harder to remember. Our psychology is actively working against the retrieval. The old identity feels like it belongs to someone we've left behind. We may even have a clear sense of wanting to separate ourselves from that old identity. And bringing it back — understanding that it's not the old you, but the foundation of the new you — often requires someone outside of us to hold up the mirror. Research supports this. Major life transitions — career shifts, loss, rupture of any kind — can call existing identities into question and require individuals to reconfigure their sense of self entirely. The bigger the pivot, the more complete that reconfiguration tends to be. And the greater the perceived discontinuity between past and present self, the stronger the psychological resistance — because self-discontinuity is experienced as a threat to a core identity principle: the need to maintain a coherent self-narrative. In other words: the more profound the transformation, the harder it becomes to reach back across the divide and claim what came before. **Proof point 1:** ### Hey, I'm Anne, and yep, I've made the same mistake. **A couple of years ago, I had to pay a speaking coach a lot of money for her to turn around and say: "Anne, you HAVE to tell people you used to work for Christian Louboutin."** This did not amuse me one bit. By that point, eight years after leaving my famed former employer, I'd put a lot of work — A LOT — into creating myself anew. Strong credentials, multiple certifications, lots of good work, client testimonials (which I've since stopped keeping to myself). I felt VERY proud of the new career just as I did about the new narrative I'd crafted for this particular event, the one this coach was helping me with. Her feedback landed in my inbox on the morning of my presentation. FUN! I could have ignored it, but didn't. I scrambled together another outline for my introduction, pulled new slides together. Frazzled yet purposeful, I showed up, delivered, and the event went brilliantly. But the incident disturbed me. Why was I so intent to leave the past behind in that way? Was I not proud of what I had accomplished? Just as these questions came up, I felt a weariness. *Ugh, I thought I'd left that world behind.* I told myself there was nothing wrong with the old me, it's just that I was more excited to talk about new me. Well. That's what I was telling myself. James and I (and maybe you too) have this in common: we went through tough times in the past and emerged changed on the other side. Maybe that's why the connection to the old identity — the lecturer for him — feels harder to make. Keeping it at a safe distance protects the new construct, even when the old chapter would confer more authority onto the new. For me, seventeen years at Christian Louboutin, rising from the shop floor to general manager to SVP of Global Communications, taught me invaluable lessons about building brands, navigating complex stakeholder relationships, and creating communication strategies that resonate. Before the global comms, for years I was general manager, doing it all: operations, HR, legal, recruitment, sales. My identity shifted time and time again. For 17 years, I was identified as Anne from Louboutin. And one day, I was no longer that. It wasn't an easy switch. It felt like a rupture in more ways than one. Fast forward to that presentation, me failing to place my Louboutin identity into my narrative was not forgetful. There was this sense of deep incompatibility between me then and me now. **And sometimes it takes someone who knows you well to state the obvious.** As my friend Merve has pointed out to me one day: people don't just come to me because I'm a good coach or a good consultant, although I believe I am both. **They come because they understand there is a sound business foundation and a proven track record underpinning it all. That and the mindfulness piece, a lens I believe is rather uncommon.** Annoying as it is to hear, she's right. So that bit about me spending 17 years at Christian Louboutin, it's kind of necessary, especially when I want to build trust and credibility, fast. **The bits we're leaving out? Those are often the ones that make us credible.** --- **Proof point 2:** In November, I enrolled in an extraordinary two-day course called Writing to Change the World by the OpEd Project. It's a life-changing programme, designed with remarkable thoughtfulness and clearly built for transformation. As someone who nerds out on teaching, curriculum design, and facilitation, I was instantly wowed. Day one, to my absolute surprise, was entirely about reframing expertise. When asked to speedily write and present my expertise, what do you think I did? Yes. I left my prior credentials to the side. I could see them, in the Google doc, right in front of my nose. I set them aside anyway. I didn't have to beat myself up about it for long, because within moments we were back in the main room to hear the most remarkable stories of how many people had left extraordinary parts of their expertise out of their new narratives. The facilitators quoted multiple examples of smart, competent individuals who had attended this very workshop with the goal of writing to change the world and who forgot to name their expertise, just as I did. One participant even chose not to mention they had received a Nobel Prize (for what we weren't told, but still)! Let that sink in. So James isn't a special snowflake. Neither am I. Particularly when we're charting a new course, our minds play tricks on us, saying things like: "People won't get it, you don't need to bring this up, it'll just confuse them." We amputate parts of our narrative before sharing it. A protection mechanism, keeping the goods out just in case this would make us harder to be understood. Understanding the psychology of self-narrative is part of what makes my clients go *'oh, this feels like therapy.'* For founders and change makers, this work is especially important. With audiences (like you, like me) wanting to buy from people instead of companies, the founder-as-influencer is an important new model, one that carries authenticity through personal storytelling. Recently I was quoting Sari Azout, of Sublime App, who wrote in her Substack about the frustrating truth of how much pull her own voice has, in the scope of her company's growth. **We're living through a particular moment in how trust gets built. The person behind a business (the founder, the practitioner, the change maker) has become one of its most powerful assets. Not because of social media specifically, though that's one channel among many. Because audiences have made their preference unmistakable: they want to engage with people, not logos.** **The numbers are hard to ignore.** [**Research shows that 77% of buyers are more likely to do business with a company whose leadership is personally, visibly present**](https://stackinfluence.com/founder-as-influencer-ceo-brands-drive-growth/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**. Not famous. Not viral. Simply present, and human.** [**Writing in Forbes, Cherie Brooke Luo quotes Eric Wei, co-founder of Karat:**](https://www.forbes.com/sites/cherieluo/2024/10/31/this-strategy-drives-startup-success-founder-led-marketing/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **“people want to know the real story and see the faces behind the brands they support. Founder-led content works,” Wei argues, “because it's coming from a *genuine* place.”** **I'd put it more simply, and connect it to my earlier career: it's very good PR.** The strategy isn't new, it's as old as reputation itself. You know when it's working not just because of the metrics, but because something lands in you when you read or hear it. The story feels human, specific, real. You find yourself rooting for the person. Trust forms before a single product has been described. **Which is exactly why what you leave out matters so much. If your voice and your story are the vehicle for that trust (and they increasingly are) quietly removing the most credibility-conferring parts isn't modesty. It's self-sabotage.** --- There are some simple tricks however to help us bypass this psychological mechanism, so easy to use, it's almost annoying. It starts with shifting into an empathetic perspective. Hold on Anne, you may say. Didn't you know you had to make it about the audience first? Yes. Yes I did. And that's how I designed my presentation, to create a transformation. But in approaching my own introduction and writing what I thought was a thoughtful narrative, I also willingly chose to exclude a prominent part of me, one that is glaringly obvious if you Google me, or check my LinkedIn profile. In my Story of You Workshop, one of my talking points is this: *What do they need to hear?* (The *they* in this case being the participants in the event) Over the months and now years of honing my methodology, I've come to offer a sub question. And that's what I would have needed to answer, perhaps while holding a copy of my bio for good measure. That essential question: *What do they need to hear about me, in order to understand my expert status?* --- **Your story, when it's excavated carefully and the threads are pulled together, is you or your brand's most powerful asset.** Not the polished version. Not the safe, edited-down version. The full one, with the chapters you thought no longer fit. **Your story is also a filter. It's not going to resonate with everyone and that's just as it should be.** It will require patience, and generally guidance, before you feel the thrill of expressing who you are in a way that illuminates others with the fullness of your story. **So it's not easy. It requires introspection. Contemplation. Examining yourself and what matters. But it's deep and beautiful work, particularly when you feel imbued with a mission (like I am, perhaps you too). Suddenly the work of excavation, dealing with the inner critic, reframing who we are in view of what matters to us, no longer feels like an exercise in personal branding. Instead, it becomes one of building resonance with the people you care about.** Thanks for reading. I hope this resonates with you. --- AN INVITATION If you recognise yourself in any of this, the edited-out parts, the credentials quietly set aside, the identity that doesn't quite cohere yet, this is exactly where we begin. Whether through consulting (brand foundations, communications strategy, launch) or one-on-one coaching (story development, navigating transitions, finding the thread), the starting point is always the same: excavating what's actually there. Seeing clearly what you've been carrying all along. I have a handful of spots available this month. If any of the above resonates, I'd love to speak. [**Book a call with Anne →**](https://savvycal.com/annevmuhlethaler/intro-call-with-anne-v-muhlethaler?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) [The Story of You Workshop Fundamentals returns on March 17th](https://luma.com/story-of-you-march-17?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). 2h. The pre-work. Where we talk about stories, empathy ancld what matters to you. --- *Anne V Mühlethaler is a brand strategist, narrative coach, and founder of Le Trente, a social learning studio in Geneva. She spent seventeen years at Christian Louboutin, rising from the shop floor to SVP of Global Communications.* The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Brand work that feels like therapy URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/brand-work-that-feels-like-therapy/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:09:10.000Z Two weeks ago, while recording an episode of my podcast The Mettā Interview, my guest — also a consulting client of mine — said something that made me beam. > "I could talk for another two hours and yeah, \[...\] you are a great coach. It's therapy. *It's therapy."* She'd already said those words to me once before, back in October. It was after our first foundations session. She and her co-founder sat with me for two hours while I unfurled my many questions to help expose and clarify their business objectives. That first time, I remember the inner "woo hoo" feeling. I smiled, and it felt like it came from the inside out. “Yes. This is good work. This is what I love doing.” I thought to myself. Hearing the same person repeat these words, months later, this time during a podcast recording where we were *both* beaming at each other, that hit differently. **I've been thinking about how to describe what I do. Because 'consultant' and 'coach' don't quite capture it. But maybe these moments do.** > A few days later, I interviewed Giulia Galli, a parental and fitness coach who, like me, spent 20 years in luxury fashion communications. At the end of our conversation, she said: > > "Your questions, your presence, your rhythm, and the space that you've allowed me have unlocked so much more than what I had. The conversations I had with you, even this one, especially this one, have added so many pieces. So thank you very much for this." This felt even more special. Tender, even. To hear these words from Giulia, an accomplished NLP practitioner, a former communications director, this was more than validating. **It also gave me something I can offer you: insights into my energy, how it *feels* to work with me, something we all struggle to articulate about ourselves.** **These kind people's words offer an interpretation beyond what my writing can give you. And it's especially hard to 'get' what the benefits are of working with someone you don't know well. Words like 'communication expert' and 'consultant' are just vessels. They don't tell you who I am to you.** And the words communication, expert, coach, and consultant are just vessels for someone’s capacities and energy. I’m not a McKinsey type, that’s for sure. But if I’m not that, then who am I to you? Fashion designer Bella Freud (great-granddaughter of Sigmund, the daughter of painter Lucian), host of the popular Fashion Neurosis podcast where she puts famous people on a sofa for psychoanalysis-style conversations (recent guests include Esther Perel and my ex-boss Christian Louboutin)[ wrote in The Sunday Times Style magazine](https://www.thetimes.com/travel/destinations/europe-travel/france/paris/the-law-of-attraction-k392sgmpmkj?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) about visiting me at the Louboutin office in 2011: > "As she talked, her brilliance and resourcefulness sparkled around her, like the aura that surrounds Tinker Bell in the Peter Pan film. I found myself thinking, 'Who needs Gisele, when you could marry a woman like this?' Someone so clever and constructive that you could bask in the contentment of their competence." **Bella’s words are interesting because they speak to something that I wouldn’t quite know how to qualify. My energy. My resourcefulness.** The fact these words appeared in print (and are still on the Times website) is helpful. As if they were indelible. I smile when I consider how the great-granddaughter of the founder of psycho-analysis speaks of my energy as magical, while my clients tell me my work feels like therapy. Isn’t that something? ## That’s why people don’t just come to me for strategy. **They come for the space I hold and for how I help them see themselves.** For my intellectual curiosity, my resourcefulness and understanding of what's shaping the zeitgeist. For my moral and ethical core, shaped by years of study in yoga, mindfulness, and Buddhist practices. Maybe they stay for all of the above, and also because “holding space” is just code for the psychological safety they find with me, which is what allows them to dig deep and bring out what matters most. I dropped out of university because I didn’t get what my studies would do for my future. And I found that I love working. I like seeing results. That’s why sales and PR were so satisfying. You know how well you’re doing; it’s measurable, and you don’t even need clever marketing reports to tell you how well you’ve done. **The work I do now is just as satisfying. I'm still driven by the desire to be effective for my clients, to make magic happen, as I used to say. It may not take the shape they think it will, but it's always rewarding.** The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Uncovering the ‘Love’ in Loving Kindness, pt. II URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/uncovering-the-love-in-loving-kindness-pt-ii/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:08:43.000Z ## How the practice encourages a kinder inner roommate relationship Uncovering the Love in Loving Kindness, part 2 0:00 /909.505188 1× [In the first part of my story](https://outoftheclouds.com/writing/uncovering-the-love-in-loving-kindness/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), I told you about how I involuntarily taught my inner roommate mindfulness and Loving Kindness, which resulted in my reclaiming a sense of peaceful spaciousness and connection internally. The surprise came first because I had no idea what practising daily would do for me — it’s not like I had a clear view of the benefits. And also those benefits of increased inner calm and connection were something I never knew I needed, yet, what a gift they are. You may wonder, what does inner connection mean? Let me see if I can help you get a sense of it. If you are listening to this story, then close your eyes. If you are reading, then I invite you to read the following lines with a sense of going inwards — not quite blocking out the external world, but collecting your attention to focus it within. Or to click on the listen button! Are you ready? ### FINDING YOUR IDEAL HOME Start by finding a suitably comfortable position. You can sit on a chair, feet on the ground, leaning against the backrest; you can sit cross-legged on a cushion, or if you want to treat yourself to extra support, you can lie down flat on a sofa, a yoga mat, or whatever suits you. In any case, do start by finding a position that conjures a sense of being both energised and relaxed. Coming into stillness, close your eyes or, if that doesn’t feel comfortable, lower them and rest your gaze gently on a spot a couple of feet in front of you. Let yourself relax, and for the next few moments, bring your focus to your breath, wherever you find it is the clearest: is it at your nostrils? Or is it around the chest, maybe connecting with the movements of expansion and contraction of the inhale and exhale? or is it in the abdomen? Let yourself find this anchor, and concentrate on sensing your body inhale and exhale. Be with the breath just for another minute or so. Now bring your attention to your inner experience. Use your inner gaze to access a different form of vision to imagine the home of your dreams. Let your mind wander for a minute. No need to hold back or anchor into reality here. Let your imagination take you wherever it wants to go. Your ideal home is yours to conjure, it can look like anything, be anywhere. What does your dream place to live look like? For some of us, it may be a converted farm in the countryside, a villa surrounded by a beautiful garden, for others it may be a condo on the beach, an alpine chalet, a city apartment or a brick townhouse. Hey, it could be a castle! Whatever floats your boat. Ha, maybe your ideal home is a boat! Can you picture your ideal home in your mind’s eye? Do you have it now? Good. I’d like you to go in for a close up. Can you explore its facade, its surroundings? What does the road or path that leads to it look like? What is it made of? Is it busy or quiet? What noises can you hear? Now imagine that you are moving towards the front door. Reach for the door knob, see yourself opening the door and stepping through. As you look around, notice that it’s everything you want it to be. It’s your dream home after all. The interiors, the modulation of the space, the ceiling height, the materials it’s made of, the texture and colours of the walls, the flooring. And of course, the furnishings. Explore away, walking from room to room. Can you notice the quality of the light, maybe the temperature? Is there an outside space, perhaps a terrace or garden or balcony? A park? Or a beach? As you wander around your ideal home, realise how it is completely perfect for you — for your needs, your family’s, your friends’, perhaps even your future plans that only you know about. Imagine it in the middle of winter, on a cold or wet and windy day, and notice how comfortable and cosy it feels. Now imagine what it feels like in a storm, or in the middle of the summer heat, and somehow notice that it always feels just right. For you. Now choose a spot in the home that feels good to take a moment’s rest, and find yourself taking a seat. Ask yourself: how does this place make me feel? Safe? Spacious? Relaxed? Grounded? Calm? Protected? Bright or light? Go ahead, you don’t need to choose any of my words, simply ask yourself the question again: how does this place make me feel? As the answer comes, notice if you can locate or connect to a felt sense of this dream home in your body, a physical sensation that reflects the feeling. If you feel balanced, what does balanced feel like for you? Safe? Spacious? Grounded? Where does groundedness or calm manifest in your body? Is it a feeling of expansion at the chest, a sense of relaxation, an openness at the heart or tingling in and around the body, the abdomen, the pelvis? There is no right or wrong answer, as we all have our very own body-mind connections. Now concentrate as best you can and try to engrave the memory of how this place makes you feel, taking one last look around. Imagine that your perfect home is available to you anytime you want to go there. You can visit whenever you need. There you can unplug and resource, play, connect to yourself. When there, all your needs are met. Now notice that someone else is occupying your place — you’re actually not alone. And this person behaves like your shadow: everywhere you go, they go. You can barely get a moment’s rest. This other being is talking to you, at you, constantly. This roommate can be at once boring, mundane, critical and irritating. Then notice that while at times this person offers a relatively neutral narrative of your life (talking about the weather, reviewing your to-do list, talking about future plans), they also know what buttons to push to set you off, to hurt you, to make you feel small and unsafe. Condescending, irritated, or downright hateful, this roommate is with you, forever where you are. While there is no escaping them, notice that they have the capacity to turn what was once your dream home into the stuff nightmare thrillers are made of. Remember the feeling you had on your own in your dream home? The safety, the spaciousness, or whatever had come to mind? How does it feel like now, with the newfound awareness of the presence of your life-commentator, your ever-present roommate? Only you know what this person tells you, so now ask yourself this: If this were a real-life scenario, if this roommate were a real person, would you choose to live with them? Or rather, let them live with you for one day? Would you introduce this person to your friends? Socialise with them? ![](https://outoftheclouds.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/DTS_Misc_1_Nich_Fancher_Nick_Fancher_4342_crop-1024x887.jpg) Most of us would answer an emphatic ‘No!’ to these questions. But if you had no choice but to tolerate this person never leaving your side, what tactics would you choose to ignore them: sports, TV, shopping, drinking, eating, staring at your phone, working, or forever scrolling your social media of choice? I think I speak for most of us when I say we’d be doing whatever works to distract from (or drown!) the roommate and to get away from this weird, occasionally depressing and anxiety-producing living arrangement. And one last question — again, imagining this is real life and not make-believe: How would the relationship with this ever-present roommate affect you as you show up and interact with others in the world? At home? At work? How would it interfere with your life goals, from the smallest to the biggest dreams? Leaving the metaphor behind, let’s reflect on this for a moment. What is life like when we get a breather from our discursive mind, our painful or intense inner roommate? What is life like when we find calm and peacefulness? What is life like when we can inhabit our inner abode stress-free? When we can resource, refresh, before we do it all again — you know, this experience we share – living this human life? ## FINDING PEACE IN OUR INNERSPACE > *“Who is your enemy?” said the Buddha. “Mind is your enemy. No one can harm you more than a mind untrained. Who is your friend? Mind is your friend. No one can assist you and care for you better than your mind well-trained. Not even the most loving mother and father.”* We all have an inner abode. And we all share it with our inner roommate, the discursive mind that we all hear, most of the day, everyday. Among the boring things it may say, or the upsetting things it may tell us about ourselves and our experience, this inner voice also has moments of wisdom, ideas, insights. It’s not (at least I hope it’s not) a solely negative relationship. Though thank god for the silence that comes with sleep, right? We can disconnect by using distractions, such as the tactics we considered in the visualisation practice, and there are plenty of others. Sometimes, when the inner voice is too harsh, too shameful, too angst-producing, we turn to harder stuff to numb it out: gaming, drugs, food, etc. Whatever painful stuff our inner person may inflict upon us, means that at times we may try to compartimentalise: we shove it out of the way like an inflatable balloon that you’d push under water in a swimming pool. Keeping the balloon below the surface takes a lot of energy and is hard to control. And the more we attempt to stuff it down, the more difficult it becomes to keep it there. Eventually, balloons (and the hard, triggering thoughts they represent) tend to pop right back out to the surface — and rarely at a suitable time and place. *It is rather odd, however, to coexist with this other ‘I’ who generally speaks to us as ‘you.’ After all, we are the only living beings on this earth experiencing this kind of relationship and its duality.* We are born in this strange lifestyle that we rarely admit to experiencing: we all sort of live with someone else. And that other being is oftentimes the greatest source of distress, anxiety and discomfort in our lives. They crowd us and can make us feel ill at ease at home, in our own selves. Could it be that we can create a better life for ourselves by having our inner roommate practise Loving Kindness alongside us? It’s certainly what my own experience showed me. Knowing that now, consider this: what would life be like if you could have a better relationship with your inner roommate? Who would you be if you had better living arrangements in your own mind? And imagine this: what would it be like to have a supportive, patient and kind inner roommate? Think about that: what would life look like for you if you gave Loving Kindness a try? --- ### *RESOURCES* Try Loving Kindness Meditation via my meditation channel, [Out of the Clouds Waking Heart](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/out-of-the-clouds-waking-heart?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) or [on Insight Timer](https://insighttimer.com/annevmuhlethaler?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). My ‘why’ and the story of how I got started with Mettā you will find [in this link](https://outoftheclouds.com/writing/on-loving-kindness-or-metta-meditation/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). Or head over [here](https://outoftheclouds.com/mindfulness-meditation/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) for more. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### Uncovering the ‘Love’ in Loving Kindness URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/uncovering-the-love-in-loving-kindness/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:09:40.000Z ## How the practise’s ‘wanting well’ mantras encourage connection with oneself ## Uncovering the Love in Loving Kindness, part 1 (audio) 0:00 /732.102494 1× When I first stepped out and started teaching meditation in 2020, I was full of awe and excitement. Joining an impressive lineage of teachers before me, I was going to be another conduit for bringing these practises out into the world. I never imagined reaching out to the masses — who am I to do that? — but I thought: if I can help a select few, who would hopefully, like me, find what they needed out of these great tools, I’d be very content. Maybe I will be a stepping stone for them, on their path towards a greater sense of connection and wellbeing. It took me a good year (or was it more?) to realise that what I was teaching wasn’t quite right, however. I unconsciously had been pushing mindfulness at the top of the agenda, ignoring a panel of other important — or should I say *essential* — practises because, well, it was harder to talk about them. Or rather, harder to get ‘buy in’ from students. You see, I was taught the two wings of mindfulness, as it’s sometimes referred to: mindfulness *and* compassion. We, myself and the other young graduates of the MMTCP ([the Mindfulness Meditation Certification Program](https://mmtcp.soundstrue.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) led by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield), were taught to teach both wings, it was never meant as an either-or situation. But to put it simply, I got caught in a blind spot in my first teaching year: it felt easier to lean on guiding breath meditations and body scans for my burgeoning online community of students. Science has been all over mindfulness for a while, and in those early pandemic times, as you yourself may have noticed, the media was all over it, too. Despite the fact I had deep respect for the panel of meditations and contemplative practises I’d studied, I jumped onto what a teacher of mine calls ‘the McMindfulness’ bandwagon. Of course, it wasn’t all bad that global circumstances had turned a huge part of our population towards an openness to meditation: I had less pitching and convincing to do to get people through the virtual doors of my classroom. Yet all the while, I was forgetting to put forward and do the hard work of telling students the story of the practise that made the most impact in my life. And that is Loving Kindness. I assume that you already know about Loving Kindness, also known as Mettā, its original name in Pali, because I’ve written about it before. If this is new to you and you wonder what I’m talking about, [*head over here for more.*](https://outoftheclouds.com/writing/on-loving-kindness-or-metta-meditation/?preview%5Fid=935&preview%5Fnonce=cf7bd8687f&preview=true&%5Fthumbnail%5Fid=937&ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) This feels top of mind because every Friday lunchtime, I teach online for a corporate startup focused on developing resources for mental and physical wellbeing. And I couldn’t help but notice one week I will have a huge attendance for a mindfulness session, and the following week I’ll get only a third of that group if I announce I’ll teach Loving Kindness. *Why is that, you may wonder?* Well I heard some time ago two well-known men, podcast and TV personalities in an interview telling renowned Loving Kindness teacher [Sharon Salzberg](https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) how the name of the practise ‘loving kindness’ made them feel iffy to start. One of them even chose to hide the cover of Ms Salzberg’s first book [(“Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness”)](https://www.amazon.com/Lovingkindness-Revolutionary-Happiness-Shambhala-Classics/dp/157062903X?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) on a flight, because he didn’t want people to see it. It’s the word love, I assume, that has people baulk against the meditation (and the book). Or is it the idea that because it has the word love, the practice is soft? It’s anything but, matter of factly. How do you feel about these words? This response isn’t reserved to men, of course. By and large, I have witnessed that people will choose to commit to the more ‘rational’ meditation that is mindfulness, with all its scientific backing. Also, unlike the assumption that love includes working on our hearts, mindfulness has the word mind. And, especially here in the West, we’re comfortable working on our minds, over our hearts. That’s why I call Mettā (or Loving Kindness) the RomCom of meditation practises. Like RomCom, it tends to make us feel good despite the fact it’s not meant to be state altering. Regular practitioners often perceive a shift, from the beginning to the end of the meditation, and sometimes report a positive tingling energy by the end. Hope? Connection? A sense of belonging? I’m not sure. Perhaps a little bit of all the above. I’ve been pondering on how can I, Anne the brand new teacher, break the stigma and encourage people to engage with this practice? After all, it changed my life! *It’s my ‘precious’ practice*. For this reason, I’ve decided to explore with you the benefits of Loving Kindness, and to get under the hood of that problem we have with the semantics, the translation, the words love and kindness. And share my personal experience! This Pali word, used by the Buddha 2600 years ago, Mettā, translates in several ways, and they all give us a different lens to understand what this meditation is meant to have us work on. ## METTA, OR UNCOVERING THE LOVE It can mean ‘friendliness’ and indeed ‘love,’ just not romantic love, and the term that I came to like the most is ‘connection’. But that’s the word I find most suitable in English. Italian offers an even better translation: ‘voler bene’ which does mean a caring form of love. It also literally translates as ‘wanting well,’ or wishing well. And the phrases we silently repeat in Mettā practise are just that: wishing ourselves and others to be well. When I started to analyse my own experience with Loving Kindness (and I’m writing a book about it, so this is ongoing work), what I recognised was indeed *that I’d developed a deeply caring connection to myself* (and to others), the result of repeatedly practising this form of ‘wanting well.’ If you wonder what that looked like, I’d start by telling you that I upgraded my living arrangements. I like to think we all have an ‘inner roommate’ (the name I like to use to describe that main narrative voice in our heads). It’s probably not a single voice, but for the sake of simplicity, I grouped ‘them.’ Earlier in my life, my inner roommate was harsh, difficult, so damn judgemental. It’s not that she was relentless in her criticism so much as the fact she seemed so unhappy with me at all times. And you know, we live together 24/7\. It turns out that while I was doing Mettā and mindfulness, I wasn’t just doing it for myself: *I was teaching her, my inner roommate, mindfulness and Loving Kindness.* The first time I noticed a shift in myself, it wasn’t in *me* as much as in *her*. One morning, I was in the kitchen and I spilled a whole bag of rice on the floor. And instead of cursing at myself, I heard ‘it’s okay.’ Huh, I thought. You see, over time, when we practise loving kindness, we practise this ‘wanting well’. And the inner roommate — whether it’s a he or a she or a they — is the one who learns to chill, to get calmer, to give us a break. After a longer time of practise, they even shift from calm to, well, caring. So first I heard ‘it’s okay.’ And that voice was soothing, and nice (the tone is important). Then, last year, sadly, I buried a dear one. That day, I got home and started to frantically clean my house. You know, trying to get some control of my environment. When I was done, I sat at my desk and I remember vividly hearing this inner voice of mine say: *‘That’s it, it’s just me now.’* Yikes. Such a sad thought. Painful thought, right? But instead of breaking into sobs, which honestly I was expecting of myself, I heard: *‘It’s okay, I like me.’* ‘That’s it, it’s just me now… it’s okay, I like me.’ I don’t know whether you can feel how revolutionary that is. I only wish you could have seen my face, which I was able to observe in the reflection of the large computer monitor as I heard that thought. My mouth opened wide into a silent ‘WOW.’ My inner voice (as I am sure yours does, too) has often switched from ‘I’ to ‘you.’ As In: ‘you are so stupid, or so silly, or whatever.’ That day, there was a display of caring unity, somehow reclaimed, reconnected, whole. And it (or I) was saying to myself ‘it’s okay’ — but on a much deeper level. From the early days of meditating on my sofa, feeling quite lost, to studying to become a teacher, to teaching, to that day of feeling deeply whole despite my heart exploding with the powerful feeling of love that is behind grief, *That’s just part of the arc of my practice of Loving Kindness, eight years on.* Of course, there’s a whole lot more to say about this. Look for my next email and instalment about the benefits of Mettā meditation. In the meantime, I invite you to ponder about your own response to the words loving kindness. *How do you feel about them? Do you think that this is a practice that you would try? Imagine how powerful it would be if someone were to do this every day.* ### Resources Try Loving Kindness Meditation via my meditation channel, [Out of the Clouds Waking Heart](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/out-of-the-clouds-waking-heart?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) or [on Insight Timer](https://insighttimer.com/annevmuhlethaler?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). My ‘why’ and the story of how I got started with Mettā you will find [in this link](https://outoftheclouds.com/writing/on-loving-kindness-or-metta-meditation/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). Subscribe to Out of the Clouds Waking Heart for more guided meditations on your favorite podcast apps. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### You Will See The Difference In Your Life, Which Is Where It Counts URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/you-will-see-the-difference-in-your-life-which-is-where-it-counts/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:09:59.000Z ## If you wonder about the possible benefits of mindfulness and compassion practices... You will see the difference in your life (audio) 0:00 /607.947688 1× Some months ago, I had the opportunity to sign up for a year-long course to deepen my studies with the Nalanda Institute for Contemplative Science. In case it wasn’t clear before, I’m a meditation nerd. Though they are based online at [Tibet House](https://thus.org/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) in the US, the academic board serendipitously (for me) decided to deliver a hybrid program between NYC and Switzerland. There were many reasons that convinced me to sign up for the course, with the cherry on the icing being that veteran teacher Sharon Salzberg would deliver live sessions as guest faculty. **My nerdiness factor is pretty high when it comes to mindfulness. However, as you may already know, I’m even more passionate towards all things Loving Kindness, and Ms Salzberg is well known for** [**her seminal book on the topic.**](https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/lovingkindness/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) Ms Salzberg talks freely about her own experience with meditation and leans on it to support her teaching. I’d heard her interviewed many times before explaining how a course in Asian studies in her first year at college set her on her way to India, where she found her teacher and her calling (and a lot of her future peers). Asynchronous interviews and lectures are great, but not nearly as exciting (to me!) as a live Zoom cohort. Sure, IRL would be even better but I’m a continent and an ocean away. Zoom it is, then. Because I love teaching Loving Kindness and because it’s much less known than mindfulness still, my burning questions for her were about the benefits of practice. ***What were the benefits she expected from Mettā? What was she surprised to discover? How does she present this to her students?*** The teacher, renowned for her accessible language, offered perspectives on both Mettā and Mindfulness, which I’m happy to share here. First, something I’d missed in my early days of practice, is that there are commonalities between the two. Though they are designed differently, both forms of meditation can bring us a sense of centering and the ability to become more sensitive. Both foster a form of resilience training: they help us cultivate an ability to let go and start over. Think about it: our minds do wander every other breath, we catch ourselves in a daydream, and learn to let go of the passing thought, reconnect and begin again. In many other techniques that could be a sign of failure, like ‘I failed to keep my mind focused on the mantra, or the anchor, oh I’m terrible at this.’ But we learn that it’s the nature of the mind to wander, and we learn to see that as it is (rather than attach judgement to our lapse in concentration). It is very much the point of these practices — that learning to let go, drop the story and start over — and to do so more gracefully than perhaps we do in ordinary life. We joke in teaching mindfulness that scolding ourselves for not ‘doing it right’ is not going to make us better meditators, or people for that matter. We also learn to concentrate the mind. Whether the object of our attention is the breath or Loving Kindness phrases, learning to put our energy on a specific focus is training that helps us beyond the meditation cushion. So both mindfulness and Loving Kindness are centering, help build resilience and focus and train us in letting go, gracefully. For those of you who have been practising for a while, you will know that things may not look that different day after day after day after day, however dedicated you may be in your meditation. > The main benefit that Ms Salzberg pointed out is that *‘it \[the practice\] may not be that gratifying, but you will see the difference in your life, which is where it counts.*’ She went on to share her own story, or let’s say discovery, of the benefits of Loving Kindness. Here’s her tale: Her and fellow teachers moved to Barre, Massachusetts, in February 1976 to open the Insight Meditation Society. With no programs on schedule for a month while they were preparing to welcome students, they thought, hey, we have a month, let’s have a retreat among ourselves. And Ms Salzberg decided to concentrate on Loving Kindness for the whole duration of the retreat. So she started by offering Loving Kindness to herself, which is how it’s done in the classical order, and then moved through these other layers of beings: someone who has helped, also known as the benefactor, then someone neutral (a person you’re not close to) and on and on, and then ending with all beings everywhere. For the first week of that month, she practised solely on Loving Kindness towards herself. And she felt absolutely nothing. She recalled it was dreary. But then something happened to a community member in Boston, and several of the teachers had to leave the retreat suddenly. Ms Salzberg remained, and while she was in one of the bathrooms getting ready, she dropped a big jar on the tile floor. Broken glass and stuff spilled everywhere, and she recalls: > *‘The first thought that came up in my mind was: ”You are really a klutz, but I love you”.* > *And I thought, look at that, you could have given me anything in the course of the month. And I could not have honestly said something was happening, but something was happening.’* Later she shared that she has since witnessed this same response thousands of times with her students: > *‘People say, “I was going to stop meditating, I thought nothing was happening. And then my kids came to me and said, please don’t stop. You’re much better now!”’* Reflecting on my personal experience and Ms Salzberg’s story, I can’t help but notice that while the practice can feel boring, mechanical or even, in her words, dreary, something good does happen deep down during practice. The shift, which I never expected to feel, happens at that level of self-acceptance, or self-love, from none other than our inner roommate. (More on that here.) So there you have it, the benefits of these practices won’t look like much (if they show up at all) in the beginning. **Here’s an extra fun fact for you: Loving Kindness (as opposed to other forms of meditation) is effective in small doses and has long-term impact.** > ‘A study by Cohn et al (2011) found that 35% of participants of a Loving-Kindness Meditation intervention continued to meditate and experience enhanced positive emotions 15 months after the intervention. Positive emotions correlated positively with the number of minutes spent meditating daily.’ What this implies is that the benefits I’ve experienced from Loving Kindness do not make me a special snowflake. I was in the 35% of people who likely turned back to meditation and compassion after my first class. I imagine that someone — yourself, even — may be one of those 35%, too. I will leave you now with this quote on the power of Mettā, beautifully illustrated by mindfulness teacher [Ruth King](https://ruthking.net/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), the author of [“Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out”](https://ruthking.net/product/mindful-of-race-book/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). She says: ‘*The Practice of Mettā is like composting. It may not seem like much is occurring, but deep inside the heap of your practice, good things are happening. In time, you will have rich, nourishing soil to feed and seed kindness.*’ Now imagine how powerful it would be if someone were to do this every day… The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe #### ##### ![AVM](https://outoftheclouds.com/wp-content/themes/avm-consulting/assets/svg/AnneVM_wordmark_final_KO.svg) ### Pausing and My A-Ha Moment URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/pausing-and-my-a-ha-moment/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:10:13.000Z ## Away from default mode, moving towards choice Pausing and my a-ha moment (audio) 0:00 /332.355918 1× A new year is like a new day, it feels like an opportunity to press reset and start afresh. But afresh sometimes doesn’t mean much, when we (me?) get caught pressuring ourselves to meet deadlines that don’t mind the length of our to-do list. That’s how I often find myself late in getting new meditations out — and, occasionally, the interview podcast, too. This week, I’ve been pondering on a topic which came up when I woke up in the night, because Nandi, my 7-month old Cavapoo puppy, was making some needy noises at the foot of the bed. I picked him up for a cuddle and as I got back to snuggle under the duvet, a familiar problem came to mind. And as I considered it, perhaps due to the cocoon of the night shifting my perspective, I had what Oprah affectionately calls an a-ha moment. It came out of nowhere: in my mind’s eye, a familiar image appeared, one that had emerged during a coaching session. The best way to describe it is to say it’s an idealistic ‘future me’ kind of image. That particular future is becoming dangerously close, you see. While I realised that, somehow, something unlocked in me. ‘If I want the dream and the reality to become one, I need to make some different choices,’ I thought to myself, almost asleep at that point. And suddenly: *‘I can do things differently, I have a choice.’* It felt radical. I am more than my conditioning (though it’s certainly a blind spot for all of us). I am more than my instinct, my reactions, my habits, and my default mode. If I can acknowledge what I want (and crucially remember it), I can choose to do things differently, I have it in me to create the change I want. And, duh, I can ask for help if I’m lacking the resources to do it myself. ## Default mode is not good for everything Of course, it’s marvellous that we are able to do things on autopilot, like driving, cooking, tying shoe laces, etc. But from the moment we blink our eyes open in the morning until we try to find rest in the evening, we are faced with a barrage of decisions to make. I don’t know about you, but I get decision fatigue at the supermarket as much as when I open Netflix. So much time is wasted trying to figure out what is ‘right.’ But for me, often I’ll default to automatic mode, and only occasionally I’ll put the remote down and do something else altogether. So, shockingly, we forget we have a choice. From what we do, to how we think and how we behave, how we talk to ourselves and others. ## To move towards what we want, we need to keep in sight If we keep our goals right where we can see them (yes, even your New Year’s resolutions), and keep the openness of choice in mind, and pause before we act, we have a chance to connect to our intention. And that’s crucial when we make decisions, whether they are casual in nature, or more charged with expectations. By pausing and exploring the choices we have, the smallest actions we take can be the seeds of the change we want to see, whether they concern our energy, our health, relationships, occupation, or the wider state of our society. Crucially, I recognise that we are not all equal when it comes to the choices we have in front of us. I live in a white, cisgender female body, in an economically privileged and stable economy. My choices are far greater than they are for many around the world, something that bears remembering. ## The smallest actions matter The other day, I wrote a post about a very different topic, but which led me to think about the importance, the potential impact, of the smallest actions. In it I quote Hannah Arendt, who believed that ‘the smallest act in the most limited circumstances bears the seed of… boundlessness, because one deed, and sometimes one word, suffices to change every constellation.’ Perhaps that’s what stayed with me. *So we have a choice, and the smallest actions matter.* You can read the post, ‘About the things we can’t unlearn’ [right here](https://themettaview.substack.com/p/about-things-we-cant-unlearn) and if you enjoy it, feel free to subscribe to [The Mettā View](https://themettaview.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), where I explore coaching, consulting and storytelling. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ##### ##### ### Riding the waves in stillness URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/riding-the-waves-in-stillness/ Last updated: 2026-03-19T17:12:37.000Z ## My surfer friend thinks meditation is hardcore. Perhaps she has a point. Out of the clouds riding the waves in stillness 0:00 /631.544081 1× I wonder how you feel about the ocean? Are you a ‘jump right in’ kind of person or are you more timid, or even just not into the whole sand/beach situation? Me, I love water and I love the beach, I always have and, I suspect, always will. But not all beaches. I’m picky! Some waters can be off-putting, or scary to me. Especially when I come across buoyant waves (even when they are as beautiful as on Bondi Beach, for example), I am known to timidly walk in just until the water is up to my shins and wait. Wait until the waves die down a bit. Or, let’s be honest, turn around and get back to my towel. One of my close friends is an amazing surfer. I am in such awe of her! She’s been known to travel far to find the best beach breaks around the world. It’s been a passion of hers since she was a kid. Growing up on the Atlantic coast, she got to befriend the ocean early on. Meanwhile, I spent summers splashing around in a small public countryside swimming pool, occasionally going for a dip in Lake Geneva (which wasn’t my favourite, as the water was a bit dark and opaque). But my family took yearly trips to the Côte d’Azur, to go visit my elderly and very fabulous great-grandmother. There I enjoyed warm, deep blue waters and golden sands. The Mediterranean, I like to say, is like a large sparkly blue bathtub in comparison to the turbulent oceans my friend chases for surfing. And that’s great, because essentially that’s what I’m comfortable with when it comes to going for a swim: quiet, manageable, see-through waters and gently bobbing waves. Recently, my intrepid friend shared that she was keen to try yoga, and yet she’s not managed to jump that step and try a class. We were texting back and forth one afternoon and when I offered her a spot in one of my mindfulness meditation workshops, she answered with a cringe: ‘God no! Meditation? (glare) That’s too hardcore.’ What do you mean, I thought to myself. Hardcore??? Have you seen what physical feats you get up to? I wanted to quip back, but of course I didn’t say anything. I sat and wondered what could make her think that mindfulness is ‘hardcore’. I chose to put myself in her shoes for a moment and, sure enough, I could suddenly see things from her perspective. For many of us, just finding stillness is already a challenge. Because when we get quiet (whether in meditation or otherwise), we have to face the often turbulent currents of our minds. And some of them are dark and scary. Facing them can feel like a big risk, which is why it can be daunting to start with. At other times, we can relax as if in mellow waters. But the truth is, we don’t always know what we’ll find when we close our eyes and sit. Perhaps that’s the biggest challenge: the unknown. How we relate to what we find is what helps us ride these waves. Not long ago, I had the pleasure of having a conversation with renowned yoga teacher [Annie Carpenter](https://www.smartflowyoga.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), during which I asked about her personal path with meditation. A dancer by trade, it also took her years to get into a regular meditation practice. Even as she studied yoga, finding her stillness and sitting in practice felt beyond her reach. Annie struggled to ‘pull the trigger of letting her body rest’ (or, rather, fade into the background) until she found the movement of the breath. *‘The key’, she said, ‘was connecting with movement (in stillness!)’* *She shared:* *“I’m a mover, and knowing that, I recognize that stillness and focusing on the now is also something that’s always changing.* *So resting in moments of ongoing change, sitting back, I’m saying again and again ‘I’m not that, I’m not that’ or ‘*[*Neti Neti’* ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neti%5Fneti?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)*(not this, not that).”* The inner currents of our minds are ever changing, and Annie’s own story illustrates how the practice requires us to disengage gently with what arises, giving us some distance to help us realise we are not our thoughts. That said, all that mind stuff isn’t bad. Going back to the beach, imagine how boring a beach would be with no waves at all. Would you really want a mind with no thoughts? I certainly wouldn’t! Like with the ripples across the oceans, our thoughts are in continual motion, rising up, disappearing, swelling and rising again. And throughout that movement, our work in meditation is to notice that they are not us. If I ever had a giant billboard for a day and could put anything on it (a question that podcaster Tim Ferriss has asked many guests), that’s what I’d put on it: ‘We are not our thoughts.’ *Our thoughts are like waves happening on the surface of our awareness. They are not us, and we are not them.* *Just as the surfer rides the surface of the wave but never* becomes *the wave.* Realising that we are more than our thoughts equates to understanding that *the crest of a wave doesn’t represent the ocean itself.* ![](https://outoftheclouds.comwp-content/uploads/2022/10/DTS_Open_Water_Copson_London_5704-1024x768.jpg) image credits: Death to Stock ## ABOUT THE PRACTICE In sitting for meditation, we learn to appreciate or notice the texture and content of our mind formations (whether we are finding them pleasant or unpleasant, or perhaps we are not at all interested in them). Most importantly, we learn to notice when we get caught up because a sticky thought arises (for me, a lot of my most powerful thought patterns are around planning — food, trips, day, work, future — non-stop). And in the moment we notice we’ve gotten involved and lost ourselves in thought, we can choose to let go. And of course, come back to it later. Meditation teaches us this wonderful ability to change how we relate to the currents of our minds and find a connection to the stillness that exists deep below the surface. Truthfully, learning to be with the stream of our experience can feel like intense training. Even though it wasn’t my experience when I started to meditate, my friend’s view of meditation as ‘hardcore’ and the way it made me consider the practice from her perspective taught me a valuable lesson as a teacher. We can easily forget how we all have very different ways to approach the same thing — our experiences are universal and yet unique at the same time. Like when we learn to surf, having an experienced teacher and guided practice is helpful, necessary even, to learn to work with the ocean of awareness that is our mind. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said, *‘You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.’* In secular mindfulness (as well as Buddhist practice), we talk about developing ‘skillful means’. Think of them as a toolkit that you can use and access either in formal practice or to bring a mindful attitude and presence in your life. In essence, they are the tools for helping you learn to surf the waves of life. As Anne Lamott writes, *‘My mind is like a bad neighbourhood. I try not to go there alone.*‘ When we’re scared of what we’ll find and we attempt to sit, we may be surprised to realise that the contents of our mind, the waves, aren’t scary that day. At other times, we may come across the opposite. If you’ve suffered from anxiety, depression, or mental health issues in the past (while meditation and mindfulness can do a lot to alleviate their symptoms), it’s good to have the support of a teacher as well as see a therapist or mental health professional. After all, that’s what they are here for: to help us through the rough waters. *If you’d like to give it a try, you can try my guided mindfulness meditations* [*here*](https://luma.com/LeTrente?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)*, if you’d like to join* *me live* [*register for online Zoom classes*](https://luma.com/letrente?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) *via the Le Trente event calendar.* ### Why meditate? An introduction URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/why-meditate-an-introduction/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:10:31.000Z Why meditate? An introduction (audio) 0:00 /614.502471 1× Why meditate? A daunting question to attempt to answer, isn’t it? How often do we dare ask ‘why’ as adults? There is a directness and great power in asking questions, choosing to inquire as to the essence of things. ‘Why’ is a great way in, especially for a curious beginner (why commit my time to this?), or the sceptic (what’s in it for me?). Indeed, why should you attempt to practice this thing that seems so hard, relatively obscure, maybe even a little woo-woo despite the overwhelming science showcasing its benefits? Have you ever heard about the five whys technique? It’s known as a problem-solving methodology that explores the cause and effects underlying a particular problem. I bring this up because when I sat down to design an online meditation course that I am about to put online, I sat down with my iPad. I stared outside my window, with a cup of coffee by my side, and gazing into the landscape in front of me I asked myself ‘why,’ Why, why, why, why? I was putting myself in your shoes, and the shoes of my future students. Why would you want to meditate? Why would you want to learn from me? Why would you give your most precious resource, your time, to study and perhaps give meditation a try? I wanted answers, my own, not anyone else’s, to share with you. After asking myself why enough times, I got it! Almost like a file download, the whys had started the process and the answer landed in my inbox-like mind. And I know it was the right answer because when I say it, it feels like freedom, it feels spacious. It feels true. ***Why meditate?*** ***Because it’s the path to connection.*** Of course, there is much to say about it but I wanted you to know this from the start. And now I invite you to follow me and I’ll guide you through all the way to this conclusion. But before I do, I also wanted to share a further motivation. When I chose to ponder on ‘why meditate?,’ maybe the problem I was trying to solve was actually: ‘why isn’t everyone in the world meditating?’ And truly, I’m asking myself this exact question right now. Why isn’t everyone? I have seen and expressed amazing benefits in my life, from my body, my relationships, to my focus and concentration. I see it and experience it every day. I’ve seen it in the life of my teachers, my peers, as well as my students. Is it just a lack of time? Misunderstanding about the benefits? Aspects linked to religion perhaps? Confusion as to how to do it or where to start? The difficulty of installing a new practice? We have this great tool at our disposal, and it costs virtually nothing – many centres offer classes for free. So why aren’t we all just doing it? Is it because no huge marketing and advertising machines are trying to devise techniques to get us to consume meditation? Or is it because it’s hard to commoditise, I wonder? Although nowadays, we’ve seen tech companies embrace meditation, [with Calm app valued at $2B and Headspace at $3B in 2021](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-08-25/meditation-app-headspace-acquires-blackstone-backed-ginger?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). My hunch is that it’s a mix of the above, but there’s more. Simply, mindfulness and meditation are still widely misunderstood. And science, or rationalising the argument for it, isn’t sufficient to bring us to the well. You see, *as human beings, we trust our intellects over our hearts. The reality is we are feeling and emotion machinesfirst, and we use most of our brain power to justify the emotional choices we make.* That’s why hearing beautifully crafted arguments and absorbing academic papers, or reading books and theory of how to meditate, is simply not enough to bring us to practice. We need to feel our way through it. Feel the benefits. [Stephen Porges](https://www.stephenporges.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), Ph.D, father of the polyvagal theory, offered this in a recent lecture I attended: > *‘We think that cognition is the jewel of what it is to be a human. But especially during the pandemic, what we learned firsthand is that it’s not our cognition, it’s our feelings that matter most. Suddenly we start seeing what are the true values in life, connectedness, feeling safe with others, trusting. Not accumulating more wealth, not accumulating more things. No, that’s not where you get your satisfaction. Your feelings of self come through accessibility and connectedness.’* You may have heard this before: we are not thinking creatures who feel. No it’s the other way around: we are feeling creatures who think. It is by having the experience of meditating, by feeling our way through our practice – not rationalising about the benefits – that we not only become meditators, but that we experience the change, that we get the goods. Recently, perhaps proving this very point, one of my online practitioners suggested monthly in-person gatherings. I was a little taken aback by the request, she was very new to the group, but after spending a moment on it, I understood: like her, I spent quite some time trying to find a group when I got here, in Geneva where I currently reside, to find others to practice with. The organisations I did find didn’t speak to me. I kept looking and finally chose to continue to study online – and to teach online. We try to find the others. We seek connection. We seek to hear and understand from others. Our solo experience is important but not sufficient, because we are wired for connection (more on that later). When we share, or listen to others, in a space (whether online or offline) where we feel safe, we learn. We hear each other’s stories and we get to connect, not just intellectually but emotionally. Stories are how we learn without explanation (something I was reminded of by master storyteller Robert McKee). So we are not ‘live’ right now, in a room together, but indulge me and let’s pretend that we are. Let’s imagine I’m sitting across from you, in a comfortable, quiet setting of your choice and I’m going to lean into this and tell you a few stories, to illustrate and hopefully get you to feel that meditation isn’t just a valuable tool in your life, but a game changer for all of us. Let me repeat that beyond stories, ‘doing it’, actually sitting down on a cushion or a chair and meditating, is what brings the curious observer or even the sceptic to become a practitioner. Nike had a point. So I embrace their motto, except this time, when I tell you ‘just do it’ I’m telling you to take your shoes off, and go sit somewhere quiet, not go for a run. You’ll find links to various guided practices in the footnotes to help you do just that. If you already have a meditation practice, hopefully you’ll not only recognise some of your own experiences, but maybe be inspired to try something new or gain another perspective The last thing I’d like you to consider before moving further is this: Us human beings, we are not only complex, we don’t take advice too well, either, and you may have noticed this in your own life. So don’t just take it from me, or anyone else. But perhaps take a moment to ask yourself these questions, and if you have a pen and paper nearby, I invite you to journal and ponder on them. What do I want more of in my life? Why am I here? Why do I want to meditate? What is my deep intention for this life? I also invite you to do what I ask my students to do at the start of each of our live gatherings: *Make an intention for our time together.* You can make an intention of presence, being laser-focused, to bring your deep awareness to this reading. Or it could be an intention of openness, ‘beginner’s mind’: dropping your preconceptions, or even whatever you may think you know already, as if everything I’ll be telling you about is brand new. Or perhaps you could make an intention to be relaxed, kind, soft, to take your time with this, not thriving, but focusing on your experience. Whatever it is, I invite you to grab that piece of paper and a pencil, or a Post-it note, and write down your intention. And now, [here is a short guided practice](https://outoftheclouds.comtalk%5Fmeditation/body-scan-meditation/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) to get you started. The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe ### On Loving Kindness, or Metta Meditation URL: https://www.annevmuhlethaler.com/on-loving-kindness-or-metta-meditation/ Last updated: 2026-06-13T16:10:45.000Z > *“The mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it.” Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj* Out of the clouds blog On Loving Kindness or Metta meditation mastered 0:00 /1097.175736 1× About three years ago, I was in a beautiful wellness resort in Thailand where I got the chance to attend my first ever group meditation.I sat in a circle with about 10 others on little rattan semi-chairs – floor seats with cushions and a backrest. Neat. We were free to extend our legs or cross them, whatever worked. It’s important to be comfortable for this practice, we heard the teacher say. **I was a little surprised. I had always pictured meditators in a bound lotus pose with an erect and dignified spine.**Outside, we could hear a multitude of birds, which I had been observing from my balcony just moments earlier. In the background, the sound of a stream. Our meditation teacher was warm and welcoming. After asking us to close our eyes and engage in a few minutes of breathing practice with a particular focus of the breath in the heart area, he guided us into Loving Kindness or Mettā meditation. **He gently asked us to repeat a few sentences to ourselves, silently, and invited us to bring a smile to our lips as we did so. Odd, but I indulged him.** **May I be well** **May I be happy** **May I feel peaceful** **May I feel loved** He repeated the phrases again, easing us in. We were to send these compassionate and loving thoughts inwards, one after the other, breathing mindfully, feeling them or at least trying to connect to ourselves in doing so. He then directed us to visualize other beings in our lives (beings rather than people, making the field wide enough to include pets for example). One by one, we were guided to imagine them in our mind’s eye, repeating the same phrases, two rounds for each as I recall, again to support building some connection towards our intention or the receiver. Finally he offered the idea of sending Mettā to a group of people (family, friends, city, country, etc) and eventually sending these same wishes of love and peace to the whole world – to all sentient beings. **At the end of the thirty minute practice, our instructor added: “Imagine how powerful it would be if someone were to do this every day!”** **His suggestion floated in mid-air, right above me. I grabbed it and thought to myself: “Challenge accepted!”** My friends who had been to this place before had warned me to try not to ‘do too much’. When I go on holiday I try to relax but sometimes I have a tendency to pack my day, as if truly doing nothing wasn’t good for me. Indeed, that’s what I was doing that day. **I attended this group class because it was the only night I was free. There were free meditation classes twice a day every day, but this was the only one I managed to land. I should mention here that I don’t believe in coincidences.** At home, a few months before this trip, I had started dabbling in meditative practices and visualisation, with the help of a couple of books including one by Shakti Gawain, called Creative Visualisation, which I’ve mentioned[ in an earlier article](https://medium.com/swlh/on-goal-setting-11864f46c34c?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). I could tell there was something for me to gain there but had no idea how to go about it or how to make it a daily practice. Leaving it to fate, I had always thought: “one day, I will get into meditation”. By then though, I had been practicing various types of yoga for a few years and savasana (or corpse pose in sanskrit – the one where you lie down with your arms and legs apart at the end of practice and look like, well, a corpse) was the thing that got me into it. Letting go, breathing, relaxing, being guided, it all felt great. **Perhaps that’s why I was able to accept that challenge!** So, the day after this group class, I started. The main goal of my stay in this resort was to fully detox and support the treatment of the rheumatoid arthritis I was diagnosed with a few years prior. Part of said treatment landed me in an infrared sauna for thirty minutes daily. I reasoned it could be just the spot for my new practice, two in one, right? My memory served me well during my first session, having retained the structure and the phrases of well wishes. But may I just say – it wasn’t all fun and games. After the first twenty minutes of sweating heavily in the sauna, practicing meditation was another kind of challenge. But, I made it work. **So I continued, past my Thai wellness escapade. I spent the next six months doing this every day, for 15 to 30 minutes, morning or evening (whatever fitted most easily into my schedule), committed to *keeping my word — to myself.*** By that point, I had come to the decision of practicing every day for six months. It felt like a reasonable amount of time to establish a daily practice. I should add – the time during which I discovered Loving Kindness was one of the hardest of my life. You know how most things happen for a reason? This practice was just what I needed, then *and* now. Still very much on the verge of burnout, I returned from this magical place in Koh Samui and managed to keep to the daily challenge of bringing Mettā magic into my seemingly disconnected Parisian life. Now about the practice: I need to tell you that, as I sat and worked my way through the steps, often the phrases felt quite mechanical. There were days when it was hard or boring and I was just not into it. I kept repeating the phrases, aware of being distracted, of my lack of connection to the words, or the people I was directing them to. Not even connecting to myself sometimes. The magical thing about it all though, is that by the end of practice, I generally felt tingly and full of a sort of scintillating energy. Typically this happened after going through the whole process, including directing Loving Kindness thoughts to all beings around the world. **A surge of light, some kind of energetic flow seemed to power me up, as I directed it outwards.** Maybe in that moment, despite the boredom from the previous 20 or 30 minutes, a part of me was actually connecting to the idea that I was sending the whole world loving, peaceful energy. It seemed to charge me. Et oui! Having talked about it with other meditation students, I have come to learn that it’s not just me – feeling special at the end of this kind of practice that is. Other people experience it too. **Think of yourself as a battery in need of recharging. Somehow, at least for me, regular Mettā practice has changed my battery levels, from minus or neutral to a higher positive charge. I would even go as far as to say that it has a magnetic quality to it, which I believe comes from the repeated action of sitting daily.** As a result, I feel pretty magnetic and life has never been quite the same again. Want more proof? I agree, there is nothing quite like science to support personal experiences. **In**[ **this**](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/feeling-it/201409/18-science-backed-reasons-try-loving-kindness-meditation?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **article, author and Science Director at the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education,**[ **Emma Seppala**](https://emmaseppala.com/950/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**, offers a detailed list of the positive effects of a Loving Kindness practice, ranging from general wellbeing, increased social connection and better stress response, to self-love and even increased brain matter.** All are immediate and long-term effects which are unique to Loving Kindness vs other meditation practices like Mindfulness for example (though this is also a wonderful practice of course). I would venture to say that this meditation is, well, kind of magic! Fast forward a bit, I started to listen to Tara Brach’s[ guided meditations](https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditation-metta-lovingkindness/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com), after receiving a link to her podcast from a friend of mine. I then discovered a name for the practice I had been so faithful to:[ **Mettā**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maitr%C4%AB?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)**. The word comes from**[ **Pali**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pali?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) **(a language I had been unaware of until that very day) and indeed translates to benevolence or Loving Kindness.** **A few months into this consistent practice, I naturally started doing what I discovered later to be called ‘Stealth Mettā’.** I was offering Loving Kindness wishes to random people undercover – at the deli counter, on the plane, walking down the street – generally trying to meet their gaze as I did. Sometimes, when I dared, I even smiled at them. Me – smiling at strangers in the street… One aspect of Mettā that our instructor had introduced us to included directing Loving Kindness to a neutral person, aka someone you don’t know very well; you might have only crossed paths with. Every day, my mind would spontaneously come up with that ‘someone’ – a taxi driver, a receptionist at the gym, the doorman in my building… **This, coupled with Stealth Mettā, started to affect how I was connecting to people. I was always friendly and empathic, however, I felt more and more attuned, sensitive, observant, and overall more caring.** A cashier at my local supermarket seemed to be having a bad time. I’m being polite: she was grumpy as hell basically. Every single time I would do my groceries, I would see her, unhappy, aggressive, angry even. She was a little scary actually. I tried to make eye contact, failing mostly. So, I doubled down, tried to smile and always said hello and goodbye in an attempt to forge a connection. To no avail. One day, in the middle of a meltdown after a fight with my then significant other, I came in, dragging my feet due to the empty state of my fridge. I felt miserable. I got to the cash register, sort of dreading the interaction. There she was. The scary cashier looked up at me and something happened. She saw me. **She asked me (in Italian): ‘Are you okay?’** **My eyes watered as I looked at her, touched that she would ask. I answered with a sad shrug.** **Then I asked her how she was. She shook her head, signalling that she was experiencing something similar.** We wished each other well, sort of, I don’t remember in what words. I left the store almost consoled. Not everything is wrong in this world if me and this stranger can connect in this way. Closer to home, my regular Mettā practice also helped me open my eyes to others in my inner circle who I felt had hurt me in some way, big or small. It enabled me to see through my heart, instead of my ego mind, beyond what some call ‘the mask of the Unreal Other’. When you forget someone’s decency and humanity because you are hurt or angry, they suddenly become ‘unreal’ and you begin to view them only as a source of pain and suffering rather than an actual person with their own feelings and experiences. Hiding underneath these masks I discovered people who were living their life the best way they knew how. I visualized most family members, a lot of ex-colleagues, bosses, and made my peace with them all, wishing them well. Since that fateful class in Thailand, I’ve discovered one of the foremost teachers in Loving Kindness,[ Sharon Salzberg](https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com). While Mindfulness Meditation felt elusive to me back then, this practice, one Sharon has been teaching and championed for decades, now felt accessible to me. It got me started on a path towards a deeper connection with myself and others. This leads me to another great teacher, and another source of inspiration: Thich Nhat Hanh. As the renowned Buddhist monk and teacher offers in his book, “[The Art of Communicating](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17331360-the-art-of-communicating?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com)”: > *“When we begin to practice mindful awareness, we start the path home to ourselves. Home is the place where loneliness disappears. When we’re home, we feel warm, comfortable, safe, fulfilled. We’ve gone away from our homes for a long time, and our homes have become neglected.* > *But the path back home is not long. Home is inside us. Going home requires only sitting down and being with yourself, accepting the situation as it is. Yes, it might be a mess in there, but we accept it because we know we have left home for a long time. So now we’re home. With our in-breath and our out-breath, our mindful breathing, we begin to clean up our home.”* This beautiful quote resonates with me a little more every time I read it. Often, in various meditations, I have felt a beautiful connection with it, a feeling of completion or wholeness. Feeling love, my source, my light. Feeling that I am part of everything and connected to everyone. Finding softness and comfort in knowing I can come home to me. With Meditation, whether Mindfulness or Mettā, I can see the path home. Going back to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, and the quote that I opened with, I venture that this practice of Mettā helps our hearts cross the abyss and the false separation created by our minds. Now at home with myself, I am taking care of the internal *and* the external, that is to say, addressing the things I need to clean up and clear out every day, one at a time so that I can feel good in my house. Maybe then someone will be able to find a home in me, or like Thich Nhat Hanh offers, that I might inspire someone to feel more at home in themselves. --- This post was originally published on [OutoftheClouds.com](https://outoftheclouds.com/writing/on-loving-kindness-or-metta-meditation/?ref=annevmuhlethaler.com) The Mettā View Join my newsletter, the Mettā View, about story, practice, and the work of becoming the brightest version of yourself. Subscribe